


Days of Our Lives

by AnotherLostSoul



Category: Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Light Is Not Kira, Alternate Universe - Teenagers, ArtistL, Bottom L (Death Note), Bullying, Childhood Friends, Childhood Sweethearts, Coming Out, Cute Kids, Cyber sex, Drug Use, Engagement, Eventual Romance, First Dates, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Friends to Lovers, Getting to Know Each Other, Growing Up Together, Guilt, Happy Ending, Hate Crimes, Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Jealousy, Light is not jealous. At all!, Long Distance Relationship, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Miscommunication, Mutual Pining, Oblivious Light, Overdose, Plot Twists, Realisation of feelings, Recreational Drug Use, Religious Fanaticism, Reunions, School Dances, School Shootings, Sexual Experimentation, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Soulmates, Teen Pregnancy, Teenage Dorks, Teenage Drama, Teenage Rebellion, Temporary unrequited feelings, The pining is real, The story of how L and Light fell in love over the years, Therapy, Time Skips, Top Yagami Light, True Love, Underage Drinking, Unrequited Crush, Wammy House, Watari is Ls adopted dad, Work In Progress, rating will change in later chapters, read the chapter notes, tags are all over the place
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-03 18:55:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 21
Words: 60,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24880429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnotherLostSoul/pseuds/AnotherLostSoul
Summary: Light Yagami was six and a half years old when he met the boy he would spend the rest of his life with. The problem is, fate seems keen on throwing challenges in their way at every turn. Is their love strong enough to whether some of the rockiest days of their lives?*updates will be sporadic*
Relationships: Amane Misa/Yagami Light, Beyond Birthday/L, Beyond/OFC, L/Yagami Light, Light/OFC, Matt | Mail Jeevas/Mello | Mihael Keehl, Matt/OFC, Mello/OFC, Watari/OFC, Yagami Sachiko/Yagami Souichirou
Comments: 283
Kudos: 160





	1. "Hello"

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to Anon on Tumblr who inspired me to write a childhood AU. I really hope people enjoy this as this is a first for me and it's quite exciting (and daunting!) but I've got a good idea where I want this to go. The pace will be quite fast at times and there will be time skips as the boys grow up. 
> 
> *Note- The Underage Tag refers to sexual references and non-graphic masturbation as the boy's hit their early teens. None of this will be explicit due to their age.  
> Time enough for the graphic smut later when our boys are grown, right? 😌💖

Light Yagami had only been five years old when his family relocated to Wiltshire, England, for his father's work. He could vividly remember his homeland and the sadness he and his little sister Sayu felt as they waved goodbye that rainy Saturday morning. Even at such a young age, little Light Yagami could perceive this was a life changing moment for him. 

He was now six and a half and due to his intelligence and aptitude had been enrolled in 'Wammy's House, School for the Gifted' much to the pride and joy of his parents. It was a private school and its fees were eye watering, but due to Light's record and his father's high profile job as Chief of Police, the fees were subsidized and so affordable for the Yagami Family. 

Today was his first day at his impressive new school and Light couldn't help but feel nervous. What if he was picked on for his accent? (He was learning English at an extraordinary rate but he still fumbled at times) or made fun of because of his name? He didn't like the idea of being made to feel ashamed of who he was or where he'd come from. His Dad had called it 'Racism' and he wouldn't stand for it! His little sister was only three and wouldn't be starting school until September, so Light was glad about that. He would have  _ no one _ make fun of his little sister, that was  _ his _ job. 

"Come on, Sweetie, Watari-San is waiting for us" Sachiko cooed, giving Light a little nudge forward. "I'm sure you will make lots of new friends, Baby, and will settle in in no time"

Light hoped she was right about that. He glanced around the lavish gardens and found a small smile at the sight of the fountains and rose gardens. He really wanted to go exploring! It looked beautiful and full of mystery and little Light Yagami  _ loved _ mysteries! 

He made a mental note to start exploring later and trotted along by his mother. She was waving to two old men, one of them had white hair and a warm smile while the other looked dour and unwelcoming. Light immediately decided he didn't like the brown haired man on sight. He was only a little boy but he'd already picked up on how to read others and the man with the golden pin labelling him as 'Roger Ruvie, Assistant Headmaster' was not someone he could see himself getting along with. Mr Watari, Head Master, however, had kind blue eyes and a gentle demander Light rather liked. 

"Good morning, Yagami-San and Light-Kun" Watari greeted in immiscible English, "Or would you prefer to converse in Japanese?" He added in equally fluent Japanese. 

"English will be fine, Thank you, Watari-San" Sachiko smiled brightly in heavily accented Japanese, "We must get used to it. Light's English is impeccable"

"Indeed, so I have heard" Watari bent down and smiled warmly at Light, "Welcome to Wammy's House, Light-Kun, I do hope you will be happy here"

Light smiled back because he had a feeling he would. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

L propped his chin in his hand and gazed out of the window, boredom well and truly had set in. The other children were practicing their times tables but he could work out complex mathematical equations with ease. He couldn't help but feel a bit sad. He didn't really get on with his peers and they always called him a 'weirdo' and 'monkey boy' because of the way he sat. Plus, those kids got to go home to their Mummy's and Daddy's at the end of the school day when he couldn't. He didn't have a Mummy and Daddy to go home to. That singled him out too. If it wasn't for his close bond and adoption by Mr Wammy, L would be very sad indeed. 

His attention was captured by another boy (around his age) who was being led into the classroom by a smiling Mr Wammy. L sat up straighter, something telling him this boy was important. He was a little bigger than he was and had eyes that L thought were very pretty. They were a soft amber colour that reminded him of the marbles he liked playing with. 

"Good Morning, Class, if I could just have your attention. Today we have a new student joining us. This is Light Yagami. Light used to live in Japan and is a very clever young man. I want you all to do your best to help him feel welcome and settle in"

Light blinked at the group of children in front of him. Normally he didn't feel shy but he couldn't help but press closer to his mother's legs. His eyes settled on a black haired boy with large, sad gray eyes and he felt a small smile tugging at his lips. He liked that boy. He wasn't sure why but he felt  _ happy _ when he looked at him. His tummy felt fluttery and Light decided then and there that this boy would become his friend. He liked the way he sat. It was funny and unusual and Light liked funny, unusual things. 

The gray eyed boy blinked at his smile before offering a timid smile in return, seemingly surprised the new student was paying attention to him. 

Watari noticed the smiles the boys were sharing (few things passed him) and beamed in approval. Finally, L could have a friend! He knew L found it difficult to mix and he and Roger were forever butting heads about the names L was called. As L's adoptive father, he had to be careful to be seen as unbiased and impartial but he was sick of seeing L so sad and had written several letters to the parents of L's classmates. His little boy deserved to be treated like the other children despite the unique way he sat. As far as Watari was concerned, it was a mark of L's genius for which genius  _ wasn't _ a little eccentric? 

"Would you like to go and sit next to L, Light-Kun?" Watari prompted softly, pointing at L and the empty desk next to him, "I think you will like him very much. He's very clever just like you are, but he is also very shy. Be a good boy and say hello, would you?"

Light looked up at his mother before letting go of her hand and walking proudly over to 'L'. Sachiko choked up, proud of her son as he took his seat and flashed the boy a smile so radiant L didn't know what to do. He blinked at that dazzling smile before ducking his head shyly. 

"Hello, L" Light chirped, wanting to please kind Mr Wammy and his mother. 

L's eyes widened and he looked between his adopted father and L in surprise. "H-hello, Light-Kun" he whispered in a thin voice. He could feel the gazes of the other students on him and it tickled like spiders crawling over his skin. He ducked his head again, hoping no one said anything mean. They wouldn't while Mr Wammy was there, anyway. For some reason he didn't want Light to hear them call him 'Monkey boy'. 

Thankfully, once Watari and Sachiko had left, the students were too busy whispering about the new arrival to call him any names. L was startled when he saw a little crumpled note placed on his desk. He uncrumpled the paper and felt his heart lurch with happiness as he read:

_ Hi! I think you're neat! Will you be my friend?  _

_ Light.  _

Without hesitation, L hastily scribbled back  _ 'Yes' _

And so that was the day that Light Yagami and L Lawliet's friendship began… 


	2. Fluffy, and the best birthday ever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's half term and L's 7th birthday! Light has a cunning plan to get revenge on Beyond for scaring his best friend and to make sure L has the best birthday ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god, protectivekidLight! is just so precious. I legit *squealed* writing some of this! 😂💖

It didn't take Light long to settle into Wammy's House and establish his new routine. He'd sit next to L (who was his bestest friend  _ ever _ ) in every class, explore the grounds and woodland with him in their free time and then (sadly) go home each afternoon, already eager to get back to school to see his friend again. He'd been at Wammy's House for a whole month (which really was a long amount of time for a little boy) when he asked his Mother and Father if he could live at the school over half term and some weekends so L wouldn't be lonely. 

"Please, Mummy! L is by himself and it makes him sad. Maybe I could stay at school sometimes and he could stay here too? He doesn't have a Daddy or Mummy so I thought he could share mine!"

Sachiko and Souichiro were touched by their son's big heart and gave their blessing for Light to sleep over at the school whenever he liked, as well as promising to welcome L into their home. 

Within weeks another new routine was established: Light would spend one weekend at school with L and then the following weekend L would stay with the Yagami family. 

Time passed and the boy's friendship flourished, as did L's happiness and confidence. He was still called 'Monkey Boy' sometimes, but not often. Light had pushed another student into the sandpit for calling him it, and L had thought that a very brave and heroic thing to do. 

It had now been three months since Light had started at Wammy's. It was the first day of October half term and L's 7th birthday was fast approaching. Light was very excited to be staying at Wammy's for the whole week with L and bid his parents goodbye with barely a wave. 

Souichiro shook his head fondly as he watched Light load his little trunk into the car. He really was a peculiar little boy. Most 6 year olds would be daunted about spending a whole week away from home. Not his Light. He was practically bouncing with excitement as he called for him to get in the car! 

"He's growing up far too fast" Sachiko murmured, smiling as she took her husband's hand, "But isn't his friendship with dear L sweet?"

"It is" Souichiro squeezed his wife's hand, "I'll go drop Light off and ensure he doesn't get up to  _ too _ much mischief. Back soon, Sweetheart"

Sachiko chuckled, already knowing those two scamps would undoubtedly be in trouble with Roger Ruvie (such a  _ grump _ !) before the week was out. She blew Light a kiss and promised to call him that evening before she kissed her husband and went back inside to check on Sayu (who just happened to be causing trouble for the Nanny) 

"Daaaad! Come on, L and I need to hunt for monsters in the woods before it gets too dark!"

Souichiro chuckled and hurried to the car, a soft smile on his face. It was at times like this he congratulated himself on taking a gamble on his new job. His family had never been happier. 

************************

"Oi, Monkey Boy!"

L cringed as the loud call echoed him down the corridor. He knew who it was without even turning around. Takada Kiyomi and Teru Mikami were the  _ worst _ . They were always mean to him, even when he tried to keep his distance from them or be nice to them. They were in the year above himself and Light and that made them think they could pick on the younger students. L didn't understand why someone would even  _ want _ to be nasty all the time. He supposed it was just an older kid thing. The teenage students at Wammy's were always being mean to one another anyway. 

_ 'Still, they aren't as bad as- Oh No! It's him… ' _

L stopped dead as he came face to face with his worst nightmare- Beyond Birthday. Beyond was the leader of the little gang of bullies and he went out of his way to tease L whenever Light wasn't around. He'd even flushed his head down the toilet once, but L hadn't told anyone about that, not even Mr Wammy. He was too embarrassed. He'd  _ die _ if Light found that out! 

"Awww, gonna cry, Monkey Boy?" Beyond, a strapping lad of 8 snickered, "Poor little L doesn't have his Lighty to save him now does he?" Beyond advanced menacingly and L pressed himself against the wall, his heartbeat frantic and eyes wide with panic. 

"L-leave me alone!"

_ 'Light will be here soon. I just need to get to Mr Wammy's Office' _ L glanced up at the clock and suddenly smiled. It was 4 pm. Mr Wammy would already be heading his way to collect him from his last class! 

"What are you smiling for, Freak?" Beyond narrowed his eyes, deciding he'd flush the little brat's head down the toilet again. That would teach him for beating him at Maths! 

"Is there a problem here, Mr Birthday?"

There was a sharpness to Watari's voice that could cut ice. Beyond immediately backed down, face flushing with guilt and embarrassment as Kiyomi and Teru made a hasty retreat. 

"N-no, Sir, no problem!" Beyond replied meekly. Watari didn't buy it for a second. He could see how frightened L was and he'd had enough. He flicked his eyes between them. Beyond was a little tyrant and he was sick of the bullies attitude.  _ 'Let's see how he likes a week of half-term detention and extra homework. A stand has to be made against bullying in this school! It's getting out of hand!'  _ Watari thought, a dark look crossing his face. He'd only adopted L six months ago and their relationship was still developing. L still called him 'Mr Wammy' rather than Dad but Watari hoped that would come with time. He also hoped L would grow to feel comfortable confiding in him. Whatever happened, he felt the need to defend his son from this obnoxious little bully. 

"Beyond, my office.  _ Now"  _ Watari barked before softening his tone and placing a hand on L's little shoulder, "L, please go and wait for Light outside. Souichiro-San has just called, they're on their way"

L gulped, terrified of the retribution Beyond was bound to dish out, and quickly hurried away with a small, "Yes, Mr Wammy" He was still excited to spend the week with Light but once again Beyond had gone and burst his bubble… 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

As soon as the car pulled up on the lavish driveway of Wammy's House, Light was craning his little neck to spot L. 

His eyes widened in concern as he saw L sat by the fountain, his little face looking heartbreakingly sad. 

_ 'If anyone has been mean to him they will have me to deal with!' _ Light thought, his chest puffing up at the thought of defending his friend. He believed in justice and protecting the innocent. That was what his Daddy did and one day when he was big he'd do the same. 

Light bolted out of the car after giving his Dad a quick hug and a half-hearted promise to be good and dashed towards L. Souichiro unloaded Light's bags and brought them to the front desk. 

"L!"

L looked up, a sweet smile spreading across his face at the sight of his friend. It reminded Light of the sun peeking out from behind a rain cloud. 

"Hey, Light..."

"What's the matter?" Light plopped himself down next to L and wrapped an arm around his shoulders, "You look sad"

"Oh. It's nothing" L shifted his gaze away, feeling guilty for troubling Light. 

"It's not nothing," Light protested, his little face earnest, "Please tell me!"

L sighed and hesitantly explained about his run in with Beyond. At Light's insistence, he burst into tears and even confessed about 'the toilet incident'. 

Light was horrified. He pulled L into his arms as L sniffled into his shoulder. "I promise that won't happen again, L. Do you believe me?"

L did. He nodded and pulled away from Light, his eyes red and his nose snotty. Light simply smiled and handed him a tissue. He had to carry them around with him for his hayfever, and Light didn't like seeing L all splotchy faced and sad. In fact, he liked seeing his friend wide eyed with excitement and the best way to achieve that was to pull a prank. Add a little revenge into the mix and they'd have the best half term ever! 

L wiped his nose and dabbed his eyes, relieved when Light grabbed his shoulders and gave him a bright smile. "I have a plan!"

L grinned, feeling better already, as Light leaned in to whisper how they would get their revenge on Beyond Birthday… 

Both boys suddenly adopted innocent expressions as Souichiro reappeared. 

"Alright, boys?" Souichiro asked, sensing they were plotting something already.  _ 'Ah, to be young again!' _

"Yup!" Light slung his arm around L's shoulders again, "We're going to the woods now. Speak to you later, Daddy!"

"Not too far and stay where you can be seen" Souichiro commented as he ruffled Light's hair. Light grumbled in embarrassment but felt better when Souichiro ruffled L's hair too. L beamed up at the man, grateful to be included. He really liked the Yagami family. 

The little scamps dashed off to the clearing by the woods (under the watchful eye of a few teachers who were on a smoke break) and sat down on the grass. Light barely noticed his Dad leave as he rummaged in his backpack for his notebook and pens. "Okay, this is going to take a bit of planning but we can do it. We are going to scare that jerk Beyond so badly!"

L giggled, delighted at the prospect of giving Beyond some payback. How fortunate that Halloween was just around the corner and Beyond happened to be afraid of spiders. And how fortunate that Light knew just where the key to Year 6's classroom was kept! Because in that classroom was the class pet Fluffy the Tarantula… 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

Days passed and Little L and Light had a ball stealing sweets from the kitchen (something Watari may or may not have turned a blind eye to), plotting revenge, reading adventure books and whispering long into the night. 

October 31st dawned and Light presented L with a very special package. L's eyes were huge as he held up the snowglobe containing a photo of himself and Light. The photo had been taken in the woods in their den. Around the edge of the globe was the word 'Best Friends' and the glitter shimmered and sparkled like magic as L shook it. 

"This is…" L's bottom lip wobbled and he flushed, hoping he wouldn't burst into tears. He'd look after this globe for the rest of his life! It was the most precious thing he owned, even more precious than Mr Pudge the Panda bear! 

"Do you like it?" Light asked eagerly, his little face radiant. He'd picked it out himself  _ and _ paid for it out of his pocket money so he felt quite proud about it. 

"I  _ love  _ it! Thank you, Light!" L threw his arms around his friend and hugged him tight, "This is the best birthday ever!"

Light grinned and wagged his finger. "Not yet but it  _ will _ be. You have another present from Mum and Dad  _ and _ we've got pranking Beyond to look forward to. Oooh and trick or treating later too!"

L squealed with joy as he opened his second present. Mr and Mrs Yagami had sent him a sweetie hamper full to the brim with all his favourites! They'd even included a few comics and a wry note wishing L a happy birthday but cautioning them on not eating  _ too _ many sweets which both boys promptly ignored. 

"Wow!" L dove in, quite content to eat toffee for breakfast. Light snickered at his friend's antics before glancing at the very important cardboard box next to L's bed. He clambered down and peeked into it. They'd poked some air holes in it and chucked in some weeds. Fluffy seemed to be okay, but they did feel a bit guilty about taking him from his nice cage.  _ 'It won't be for long though, Fluffy, just until we teach Beyond not to mess with us' _ Light thought as he dropped in a Gummy worm for the spider to eat. 

Spiders liked gummy worms, right? 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

Watari adopted an innocent expression as Roger pointed at the empty cage in exasperation. 

"Oh dear" he mumbled, not even trying to be convincing. 

Roger raised an eyebrow. "L and Light have taken the spider, Quillish"

Watari smiled blandly. "Do you have proof, Roger?"

"Well, no, but-"

"Then I'm afraid you can't just blame L and Light. I'm sure someone just left Fluffy's cage open. Pop some locasts in there and he'll back before you know it" Watari patted Roger's shoulder soothingly, "If you'll excuse me, I have Detention duties to attend to"

Watari left and smiled to himself as he headed to his office. He knew damn well L and Light had taken the spider. He'd had the dubious honor of sneaking it insects over the last week to ensure the poor thing didn't starve on his diet of Haribo gummies and weeds. He suspected the little tykes were going to play a prank on Beyond (Who's fear of spiders was well known after _ that _ public meltdown last term) and had decided to lend a hand. It would be a lesson for Beyond Birthday and, if he was honest, he was just biased in favour of his son getting a little lighthearted revenge. 

Beyond was already waiting sullenly when he arrived. Watari pretended not to notice two little butts sticking out from behind the sofa and sat down at his desk. They'd probably snuck in before Beyond had arrived. 

"Good morning, Beyond" Watari smiled, "Goodness! I've forgotten my tea. Please stay there and I will be back shortly"

Watari bit his lip to hide his amusement at the hushed 'Yes!' that sounded from behind the sofa. He left the room but lingered outside, a huge grin on his face as he heard Beyond  _ scream _ . 

Light and L had sprang out from their hiding place the instant Watari had left. Beyond had turned around to find Light and L brandishing Fluffy and screamed shrilly in terror. 

"Not nice being afraid, is it?" Light yelled, "If you  _ ever _ be nasty to L again I'm gonna put Fluffy in your  _ bed _ , Beyond! Do you understand?!"

"Yes! I'm sorry, I'm sorry" Beyond whimpered, cowering in fear at the fat, placid spider sat calmly in L's palm. "I won't! I swear, please-"

L smiled in satisfaction. "You'd better not, Beyond. I'm not scared of you anymore. You're scared of a  _ spider.  _ You're the baby, not me!"

Beyond whimpered when L thrust his hand out. The spider reared up on his hind legs, not appreciating being jostled about, and Beyond hit the floor, fainting with fright. 

L and Light looked at each other wide eyes before bursting into laughter. They had a funny feeling Beyond wouldn't be causing any more trouble any time soon…

Not two hours later, Fluffy was found back in his cage looking none the worse for wear. Watari told a suspicious Roger 'I told you so' while giving L and Light a discreet wink. Beyond's parents had been called to collect him after an 'unexplained faint' and L and Light were happily rummaging through the dress up box for Halloween costumes. 

L decided to be a pirate and Light picked out a Zombie costume. As they got ready for trick or treating, L decided that yes, this really was the best birthday ever. 

Not because of the candy or his revenge on Beyond. 

It was the best birthday ever because he had  _ Light _ . 


	3. Operation catch Santa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Christmas time and L and Light are determined to catch Santa! But will they succeed?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> L and Light are 7 for the first five chapters, then there will be a time skip of four years.

Time flew by and L and Light grew ever closer. Christmas was fast approaching and L and his adoptive father had been invited to spend it with the Yagami household, much to Light's delight. He was too young to understand what his parents had offered as they knew this first Christmas as L's parent was important (and daunting) to Mr Wammy. All Light cared about was the fact that he'd have L to play with for a whole 10 days! 

He was waiting impatiently for L to arrive as his mother and father put the finishing touches to their Christmas tree. It was as tall as a skyscraper (to Light, anyway) and covered in well loved baubles and twinkling lights. The tree was one of Light's favourite things about Christmas and he hoped L would like it to. Maybe they could camp out beneath it and ambush Santa on Christmas eve? 

That would be  _ awesome.  _

"Finally!" Light jumped down off the sofa as he spotted Mr Wammy's sleek gray Jaguar pull into the driveway. "Mum! Dad! L's here!"

Sachiko smiled, because how could she not when her little boy was so cute? She made a silent wish (as she often did at this time of year) that time would not erase the special friendship between L and Light. It made a warmth burn in her that her son had someone he loved so dearly at such a young age. 

Light had bolted to the door and had flung it open. "L!"

L jumped out of the car and opened his arms just as Light collided into him for a cuddle. They hadn't seen each other in three whole days, which was basically a  _ lifetime _ . 

"I'm so glad you're here" Light nuzzled L's fluffy black hair. He liked the smell of it because it smelt like cherries and happiness. 

"We are glad to be here, Light. Merry Christmas" Watari smiled warmly at the boy, "May we come in?"

"Yup!" Light grabbed L's hand and dragged him off, leaving Souichiro to offer to help bring in Watari's and L's luggage. 

"Those two" Souichiro chuckled, "thick as thieves"

Watari's eyes sparkled as he thought of the Fluffy Incident. "Thick as thieves indeed, Souichiro-San"

*****************

The days leading up to Christmas were filled with a flurry of last minute gift buying, the delicious scents of Sachilo's home baking and marathons of Holiday movies. The time seemed to pass quickly for the adults but by the time Christmas Eve came, both L and Light felt like they had been waiting a lifetime! 

"Psst. Light"

Light glanced at his friend and giggled as L 'subtely' inched his plate closer to him with an imploring look. 

"What?" he whispered, sneakily grabbing some carrots from L's plate (when his parents weren't looking, of course) and loading them on to his. L didn't like to eat many vegetables but he didn't mind them. 

"Do you think Santa will be mad if I eat his cookies later?" L asked softly, grey eyes shining with excitement and mischief. 

Light frowned as he thought about that. Santa was a bit fat and he obviously liked cookies. So he probably  _ would _ be mad and he didn't want L to be on the naughty list! "I think so. Best not to risk it. You can have my cookies instead"

L blinked, a small flush on his face. "Really? 

"Sure, but be quiet!" Light swiftly put a finger to his lips as if afraid Santa was listening. Perhaps he was! His mum said he sent his Elves around to make sure boys and girls were being good. Light didn't think he was  _ too _ bad so surely Santa didn't need Elf surveillance on  _ him _ ?!

After supper, L and Light had a bath and changed into their Christmas pajamas. The adults settled by the fire to enjoy some festive tipples as the children played and the atmosphere was cheery and full of joy. Photos were taken and when Souichiro reminded L to have a photo with his dad, the little boy's face scrunched in confusion. Souichiro noticed L's confusion and discreetly pulled him to one side to check on the brownies with him. 

"Yagami-San, Mr Wammy is not my dad. My Daddy is dead" L said in a very serious whisper as they entered the kitchen. 

"Yes, L, however Watari  _ chose _ to be your  _ new _ Daddy, and that is very special. He loves you very much" Souichiro patted L's shoulder gently, hoping the child understood. L was already  _ very  _ intelligent, so he wasn't surprised when L's little face lit up with realisation. 

He hadn't thought of it like that! If Mr Wammy  _ chose _ to be his dad then that was very special! It meant he actually did have a dad after all! L rushed back out and clambered into Watari's lap. 

"Oh, hello, L" Watari chuckled as L nuzzled in for a cuddle. 

"I love you, Daddy. Thank you for choosing me!" L smiled against a waistcoat that smelt faintly of tobacco and pine. He felt so warm and safe in his Daddy's arms, and so very happy. Light grinned at him, pleased L now had a Daddy of his own. He didn't mind sharing his, of course, but seeing L smile like that made him happy. 

Watari felt his throat close up and tears welled in his soft blue eyes. L had called him Daddy! The precious moment was captured by Souichiro who discretely filmed it on his phone, a small smile on his face. This is what Christmas was all about: family. 

"I love you too, Son" Watari gently enclosed L in his arms and hugged him tight, "Thank you" he added in a whisper, tears trickling out the corner of his eyes. 

Sachiko topped up Watari's drink with an understanding smile and the family settled down to read L and Light a Christmas story (with the objective of hopefully winding them down before bed) 

Little L and Light sat together on the sofa and listened in rapt fascination to the 'The Night before Christmas'. The adults believed they were sleepy and ready for bed, but as soon as they were tucked up in bed and the door had been closed behind them, L had scrambled into Light's bed with a torch and plans at the ready. 

"They're going to be up for a while" Light sighed as muted laughter filtered upstairs, "And I  _ am _ tired. How are we going to stay awake?"

L held up his wristwatch. "I've set an alarm, don't worry!"

The two boys went over their plans and snuggled up together underneath the warm duvet. Sleep came easily and before L knew it the  _ bleep bleep bleeeep  _ of his alarm was ringing in his ears and permiating the fog of his dreams. 

_ 'Oh yeah! Time to catch Santa!' _ L blinked awake and stared at his watch. 2 am.  _ Perfect.  _

"Light" he rocked his friends shoulder gently but received nothing but a snore for his efforts. "Liiiiight, c'mon! We need to bust Santa! We're Secret Agents, remember?"

Sleepy amber eyes opened and Light yawned. "Huh?"

"Operation catch Santa!" L held up their messily scribbled action plan as a prompt. "It's quiet so everyone must be in bed. Let's sneak downstairs"

Light rubbed at his eyes and nodded. Catching Santa sounded like a good idea earlier but he was so warm and cosy curled up in bed with L… 

"Light!" L prodded Light's tummy when the other began to doze again, "Come on!"

"Fine, but we can't wake Sayu! Mum will go nuts!" Light huffed and tried to bring himself around. They climbed out of bed and tiptoed towards the bedroom door, feeling very much like spies as they crept along the soft carpet. 

Light giggled as his father's snoring echoed in the silence of the house and L clamped a hand over his mouth, eyes wide and serious. 

"Shhh!" He reprimanded Light firmly. 

"Sorry" Light stuck out his tongue and licked L's palm playfully, making the other boy yank his hand back with a yelp. 

"Eeewww, _gross_ " L whined, wiping his palm on his pajama pants. 

"Shhh!" Light parroted cheekily, earning himself a small huff from L. "Let's move, follow me, Agent L!"

Following Light (who knew which stairs creaked and where to stand to avoid them) ,Agent L snuck down the stairs and waited as Light scouted the hallway. "Clear!" 

L huried towards him but stopped dead in his tracks as he spotted it: snowy footprints by the front door! "Light!" he hissed as he tugged at Light's sleeve, "Look!"

Light's eyes widened. "He's already been! He's out-sneakyed us, L!"

L slumped against the wall in disappointment. Another year of not catching Santa. He was so  _ sure _ he'd get him this year too because he had Light, but no, the fat man in the red suit had outfoxed them… 

"Let's go back to bed" Light took L's hand in his, "There's always next year, Agent L"

L brightened at that and squeezed Light's hand in agreement. "That's true. Together we  _ will  _ catch Santa. Come on then, lead the way, Agent Light!"

Silently, the two boys crept back up the stairs. In the living room, Watari and Sachiko were desperately trying to smother their giggles as they finished off laying out the boy's gifts from Santa… 

"They are adorable" Sachiko chuckled as she heard the bedroom door of the two 'Agents' softly close, "Do you think they will always be this close, Quillish?"

"I honestly believe they will, Sachiko, there's a bond between them that isn't often seen in those so young. I think in one another those pair have found a friend for life"

Sachiko held up her wine glass and softly clinked it with Watari's, "I'll drink to that..."


	4. Married?!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light spends his birthday in Japan (and away from L) much to his annoyance. L makes new friends and Light feels threatened. Uma Yagami informs her daughter that little Light and L are soulmates and the boys decide to get 'married'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying to get the first five chapters out ASAP so I can prepare for the time skip ahead. From chapter six onwards, the pace picks up! 
> 
> Enjoy the 'marriage' 🔔 💐 💖 😂😂

Light Yagami was usually a good, kind, obedient little boy but the moment Sachiko explained they were spending his birthday visiting relatives in Japan, Light exploded in a tantrum of which the likes she'd _never_ seen before. He trashed his bedroom. He screamed the house down. He demanded L come with him. He threatened to pack L in his suitcase (Souichiro had to really try hard not to snicker at that) and finally, when his tears were spent and his throat was hoarse, he slammed the door to his bedroom and took himself to bed to brood moodily. 

Sachiko had hoped after some sleep her angelic son would return. However, she was in for a rude awakening when she gently reminded Light about the upcoming visit to Granny in Osaka. 

"No! I don't want to go! You can't make me, I won't go. I want to be with L!" Light screamed, red-faced in fury as his Mother and Father stared at him in shock. 

"Light-" Souichiro began, using a firm tone he'd never actually had to use towards his son before and instead kept for his wayward colleagues. 

"No! I won't leave L! I can't leave L!" Light screamed, snot and tears running down his face, "You can't make me go. I'll run away!"

Unfortunately for Light, however, his parents _could_ make him go. He threw a massive tantrum the morning of the flight and sat in sullen silence for the entirety of the plane journey too. 

Sachiko tried to lift her son's spirits by telling him of all the wonderful things they'd do once they arrived in Japan, but Light wasn't buying any of it. He crossed his arms and stared pensively out of the window. 

_'I wonder what L is doing now. Is he missing me too? Of course he is. I hope Beyond is leaving him alone. I've told L how to get Fluffy now so he should be okay'_ Light fretted, fingering his photo keychain anxiously. L smiled up at him from the photo, making his little heartache in longing. What he wouldn't give to be with L right now. It was late in England, so they'd probably be in bed scoffing sweets and reading magazines… 

Sayu giggled and Light shot his little sister an annoyed glare. She was only 2 and so _stinky_. 

_'Babies. Urgh_!' Light turned his nose up when Sachiko asked if he'd like a cuddle with her. 

"No thanks, I'd rather have a cuddle with L" Light muttered darkly, turning back to the window, literally giving his mother the cold shoulder. 

Something seemed to click in Sachiko's mind then. Her son was genuinely heart broken not to have his friend near him. Their bond was close, was growing closer by the day, but was there something more to it? 

_'I'm being silly. They're little boys and they're best friends for goodness sake! This sulk of Light's is perfectly normal. He's growing up, that's all'_ Sachiko shook her head to clear her thoughts, chastising herself on being so stupid. There was no way L and Light would love each other romantically one day… right? 

*****************

Meanwhile, L was in similar spirits. He got up and ready for school, but his heart wasn't in it. When Takada and Mikami called him names he simply ignored it and walked straight past, a rain cloud hanging over him. It felt so terribly lonely without Light. 

He wasn't sure how he was going to survive _two whole weeks_ of it. 

Watari smiled sadly at the droop in L's shoulders and pulled the boy to him for a swift hug. "You'll be alright, L, the time will pass before you know it. Besides, we have two new students starting today. I'd like you to show them around. Can you be a brave boy and do that? Make sure they aren't called any nasty names?"

L felt his heart lift a little and nodded his head. "Yes, Daddy, I can do that!" He was proud of the trust his Dad was putting in him and he really didn't want the new students to go through what he had. Besides, now he had Light for a friend he didn't feel so weird talking to other kids. Maybe he could even make more friends? 

_'Obviously they won't be best friends. I can only have one best friend and that's Light'_

L walked with Watari to class and, after a nod of encouragement, opened the door. The new students stood at the front of the room. One had (kinda girly, in L's opinion) blonde hair and the other had red hair. The redhead was wearing goggles and L grinned, thinking how cool that was. 

"Ah, L, do come in" Miss Spencer smiled kindly at him, aware she'd have to be particularly gentle with L since he was missing his friend, "We have new students today. This is Matt and this is Mello"

Matt and Mello stared at L. L stared back. L wasn't sure what to do so, thinking back to how Light introduced himself when they first met, he smiled warmly at them. Thankfully, they smiled right back and L knew then he'd made more friends. 

The new students settled in very quickly. Matt was quieter than Mello but seemed to possess an easy going nature that endeared the other children to him. Mello quickly established himself as the class clown. Miss Spencer sighed as Mello ran around the room squawking and flapping his arms like a bird to the applause of the others. 'That one is going to be a handful' she thought ruefully, wondering if 9 am was too early to have a tot of gin. 

"And then the bird did this!" Mello 'swooped' to L's desk and L clapped his hands in excitement. He wanted to go to the zoo and see the big birds too! Maybe when Light was back they could go. 

"I really want to see the birds" L sighed longingly, "Did you go with your Mummy and Daddy to the zoo?"

Mello shrugged, "No. My mum and Dad died. Matt's too"

L sat up straighter. So he wasn't the only one! "Mine too! They died when I was little. Mr Wammy, I mean, Watari, adopted me"

Matt smiled wistfully, "Good for you, L. Me and Mels have been in foster homes for a while but they suck. We're staying here now"

L grinned, "Great! Me too!"

Matt and Mello shared a smile. It seemed they'd found a kindred spirit in L. Years later, they'd say it was at this moment they felt a connection with each other they were simply too young to understand. They shared _loss_ and that shared loss would create a bond of friendship nearly as strong as L and Light's. 

*******************

Light was fuming. He'd pestered his father into letting him call L from his laptop and when he'd finally gotten through all L wanted to talk about was the new _friends_ he'd made. 

Light was confused at the churny feeling in his stomach and clenched his little hands into fists. He didn't want L spending time with other people. L was his! He was barely listening as L chirped away about what fun he'd had at school. 

"And then Matt said-"

"I don't _care_ what matt said!" Light snapped, on the verge of tears. "Don't you miss me?!"

"O-oh" L's voice was very quiet and his eyes filled with tears, "I'm sorry, Light. Of course I miss you! Matt and Mello are great but they're not you"

Light felt a little better and a bit mean as L sniffed and began to cry. 

Sachiko placed a hand over her mouth as she listened to Light's call. Her little boy was being so possessive over L… 

"I'm sorry, L, please don't cry" Light whined as L bawled his eyes out, "I love you!"

L sniffed. "Do you?"

"Yes. I love you more than gummy worms, L" Light declared solemnly, "And when I come back home I'm gonna prove it!"

"How?"

Light looked at his mother and father. His dad said his mum was his best friend, and that is why he married her… L was his best friend so he should marry him too! 

"I'm gonna marry you!" Light declared proudly. 

Souichiro blanched and Sachiko whipped her head to her mother, who was cackling away as she knitted. 

"He's right you know" Uma Yagami chuckled, giving her daughter a knowing look, "Those two are fated-"

"Granny, _please_ " Souichiro groaned, putting down his paper, "Not this again"

Uma arched a bushy white eyebrow at her son-in-law, "Mind your tone, young man. Sachiko knows what I'm talking about. I read the cards when she was just a girl. I can see what others can't!"

Sachiko smiled nervously at her husband as Light wandered around with the laptop showing L his granny's house. 

Sayu, with impeccable timing, filled her nappy, and grateful for the excuse, Sachiko rushed to go change her. 

****************

Later that night, Sachiko cornered her mother in the kitchen. 

"Mother… is it true? Are they really meant to be together when they're older?" She whispered softly. 

The wise old woman's eyes sparkled. "They're together now, child, their souls are joined, it is why they are so close. They are too young to understand yet, but they are meant to be together always"

Sachiko let out a shaky breath. Soulmates. Her Light had a soulmate. She believed (Knew) Souichiro was hers, but she'd met Souichiro when she was 30. For Light to have found his soulmate so young… her son really was blessed! 

"Ahhh, now you see" Uma patted her daughter's hand, "Be patient with him, My Dear, Light is hurting because his soul is crying out for its other half. Let him talk to L as often as he likes and this sulkyness will pass, Love, I promise"

Sachiko and Uma brought the snacks out to the lounge. Light smiled at his mum and crawled into her arms for a hug. 

"I'm sorry I was angry, Mum" Light whispered into her hip, "I just really miss him"

Sachiko gently carded her fingers through her son's beautiful auburn hair. "Oh, I know, Darling, it's okay. You talk to L whenever you want, alright Sweetheart? And we will buy him some lovely gifts before we go home too"

Light's smile was radiant. "Really?"

"Yes" Sachiko pressed a kiss to Light's hair and held him close. Her husband might not believe (nor want Light's partner to be another boy) but she did and all she wanted for her little boy was happiness. That was all any mother could wish for their child. 

*********************

It was a rainy Saturday and L was coloring in his room, counting down the hours until tomorrow. Tomorrow Light would be home and although having Matt and Mello as friends helped, time had crawled by for him without Light. He was just finishing colouring in Light's cape (he was Superman) when his laptop lit up. He beamed as he pressed 'accept' and Light's face filled the screen. 

"Light! I was just drawing you a picture" L giggled, reaching for the paper to show him. 

Light shook his head, "Don't show me until tomorrow! It can be a surprise"

"Okay" L placed it on his desk, pleased Light wanted to keep it as a surprise. "I told Matt and Mello about how you pushed Mikami into the sandpit and how we pranked Beyond with Fluffy. They think you're really cool. They're best friends like we are"

Light smiled at that. If Matt and Mello were best friends then that meant they wouldn't try stealing L from him! "I asked mum about being married. She said it was something only grown ups can do"

L pouted. "Awww! That's ages away! Can't we just marry anyway?"

Light's eyes sparkled and L just knew he'd found out something good. "Yeah, I asked Granny Uma. She said we need rings"

L scampered to his bed and fished out two Haribo jelly rings from the half-eaten packet. "Got some!"

"Great. Then she said we have to give each other the rings and make a… something vow. Solbem? I'm not sure. But we make a vow"

"And then we eat the rings?" L asked hopefully, eyeing up the delicious candy. 

"Hmmmm. She didn't say. I guess we do eat the rings because they're candy and meant to be eaten? I'll ask her. So, shall we get married tomorrow night when I get back? Then we will be best friends _forever_ "

Forever sounded just perfect to L. Watari called up the stairs that it was time for dinner so L regretfully told Light he had to go. "I can't wait until we're married tomorrow! Bye Light!" L happily waved at Light before ending the call and practically bouncing down the stairs. He couldn't wait to tell Daddy! 

*******************

Watari waved as he spotted the Yagami's car pull up on the drive. L, who'd been stationed by the window most of the afternoon, bolted past him and ran to Light. 

Sachiko helped Light out of his car seat and watched, through misty eyes, as the boys hugged in reunion. 

"Souichiro, Sachiko, I hear congratulations are in order?" Watari teased as he nodded towards the hugging boys. 

"Oh, don't _you_ start" Souichiro grumbled, "Granny Uma is convinced they're 'soulmates!' _Bah!_ "

Watari smirked because that would actually make _a lot_ of sense,"Well, L's told me he's marrying Light…"

"Yup!" Light butted in, one arm slung around L's shoulders. "Let's go"

"Hold on you two" Sachiko shook her head with a smile, "You can get married later. First we need to bring the luggage inside and hand out souvenirs!"

" _Awwww_ , but muuum-"

"Listen to your mother, Light" Souichiro ran a hand through his hair in exasperation. He felt like he needed a holiday to get over that holiday! That thought was seconded as Sayu burped and threw up her milk down his shoulder. 'God dammit…'

"Fine" Light huffed, already pulling L to the car to pick up some bags, "You're gonna love what I got you!"

*****************

Once the Yagami's had unpacked and gifts had been given, L and Light were finally excused to go to Light's room. 

They bounded upstairs and as soon as the door was closed, L produced the two candy rings. 

"Got em! Now what?" L asked, already anticipating eating the candy. 

Light plucked up one ring and clumsily pushed it on L's finger. "Now do the same to me"

L copied him with a bright smile. Getting married was fun! 

"Now we have to promise to always be there for each other, no matter what" Light said solemnly, "I vow that you will always be my best friend. I will always swap you my strawberry milk and stop Beyond being mean to you" 

L pondered his vow for a moment before he clasped Light's hand, "And I vow to always swap you my plain milk. I promise to be there for you and help you plot ways to prank Roger and I swear you will always be my best friend until I'm dead. And then after that we will be _ghost_ best friends!"

Light laughed at that. Being ghost best friends sounded amazing! 

They ate their rings and smiled at each other in happiness. 

They'd done it. They were married!


	5. An abrupt end to innocence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A school shooting shakes Wammy's School for the Gifted, as well as L, Light and their friends...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angst chapter! This is the last chapter where our little ones are little. Chapter six is set four years later when they are 11 so brace yourselves! 
> 
> Warnings for chapter: School shooting, Trauma and mentions of PTSD. Our boys have a rude awakening into the darkness in the world...

Light found it odd at first, sharing L. It wasn't that he didn't like Matt and Mello, because he did, it was just weird not having L all to himself. Soon enough, though, he got used to it, and friendship blossomed between them as the term went by. 

Classes were mixed at Wammy's so the boys often found themselves split up, much to their annoyance. It was a stormy Thursday afternoon and they were doing group reading when it happened: the power went! A cheer went out as poor Miss Danes looked around in confusion. Thunder was rumbling in the sky and there had been warnings of a power cut… she felt a chill run through her. It was like she just knew something  _ bad _ was going to happen, like someone had walked over her grave, as her Grandmother used to say… 

She scolded herself for her superstitious nature and forced a smile to her face. It wasn't as if the kids were listening to the story and maybe she'd be able to sneak in a smoke break. So the power cut was surely a  _ good _ thing! 

"Alright, children, you know the drill. Report to the assembly point" she ordered, reaching for her handbag in preparation for that long desired smoke break. 

Light scrunched up the note he was about to pass L and grabbed his bag. The book the class was reading was  _ boring _ . He and L had already read it anyway so this power cut was just fine as far as he was concerned. 

L, Light, Matt and Mello wandered down the corridors towards the canteen, their little bodies lost amongst the older students as they spilled out from their classes. L reached out for Light's hand, alarmed at the sudden hustle and bustle. The older students were panicking and breaking into a run. What was going on? Why were they running? Should they run too? 

"L?!" 

L whipped his head towards the direction of his Dad's voice. He spotted him by the canteen doors and was about to reply when Light yanked him to the ground. Deafening bangs and yells sounded above him and L curled into a frightened ball, shaking as he tried to process what was happening. 

"Stay down" an older student hissed to them, "There's a gunman here"

"A what?" L whimpered, gazing up at her with wide eyes. Light, who understood these things better than L thanks to his father's job as a policeman, immediately pulled L closer to him. He wouldn't let the bad man hurt his friend! 

"Just stay down" Light whispered in L's ear as screams rang out, "Okay?"

L whimpered in panic. He didn't want to stay down! He wanted to run to his dad. Light risked a glance up and his stomach churned at what he saw. People were lying on the ground and they were bleeding. Light spotted Miss Danes and stared at her lifeless eyes. It was like she was staring  _ past _ him. Her handbag laid by her side, a carton of cigarettes peeking out. 

_ 'She's Dead!' _ He thought in disbelief as he tugged L closer to him. He couldn't let that happen to L! He didn't want L to be his ghost best friend yet. 

"Light" L whispered, eyes as wide as saucers, "What's happening?"

"Shh!" The pink haired student hissed, her eyes wide as the gunmen waded through the bodies and headed towards them. Her movement must have been spotted because she was suddenly yanked up by an arm. "Help!" She screamed as one of the masked men flung her into the metal lockers. Her hands flew to her head to defend herself but it was too late. 

Light watched through wide eyes as her head seemed to split open, red gunk flying out everywhere. L, who had seen the shooting too, screamed and tried to scramble away from the gore dripping down onto him. 

Light tensed as he felt eyes on him and tightened his hold on L protectively.

"Got two little runts here" a gruff voice called out, "Might as well put a bullet in them-"

_ 'No!' _ Without thinking, Light rolled L underneath him and tucked his head into L's shoulder. 

"Light!"

And then there was nothing but  _ pain _ … 

**********************

_ "The two gunmen, Mr Arnold Shears and Ainsely Knight were shot and killed at Wammy's School of the Gifted by the Headmaster, Quillish Wammy, otherwise known as Watari, who is a skilled marksman and acted in self defense. Mr Wammy has been hailed as a hero after preventing the shooting of a group of young students hiding in their classroom. A total of 13 students and 4 teachers were killed in the shooting and the youngest gravely injured victim is just 7 years old…" _

Gaunt and pale-faced, Sachiko switched the TV off and returned to Light's beside. Her little boy was fighting for his life after some  _ beast _ had shot him. She still couldn't believe something like that could have happened in  _ Wiltshire _ .

"Oh, Light" she burst into tears as the beeps of the machines filled her ears. How could it have happened? What could have possessed those two young men to do such a wicked thing?! 

A soft knock sounded and she wiped her eyes, mustering up a smile as L shuffled in clutching a bag of gummy worms. 

"Light's not awake yet?" L asked sadly as he walked towards Sachiko to give her a hug. She'd been crying, he could tell, and he didn't like that. 

"No, Sweetheart, not yet" Sachiko held L tightly, trying to compose herself as the little boy clung onto her. "Soon though! He'll be awake soon to eat up those yummy gummy worms" her voice cracked. She was trying her best to sound upbeat and it was taking all she had to do it. 

L nodded, feeling strangely tired as he rested his head on her shoulder. "I'm sorry" he whispered, tears spilling from his eyes, "This is my fault"

Sachiko pulled L away, a pained look in her eyes. "Darling,  _ no _ , this is not your fault!"

"It is" L insisted, fat teardrops running down his cheeks, "Light told me to be quiet b-but I screamed. Then the bad man came. Light got on top of me and he-he-"

Sachiko pulled L back into her arms, soothing him while she reeled in shock. Her little boy was a  _ Hero _ . He'd saved L's life without a thought.  _ 'They really are soulmates. No normal seven year old would do that. Oh, Light, I am so  _ **_proud_ ** _ of you!' _

"Is Light going to die?" L whimpered, the sheer heartbreak on his face forcing more tears to well in Sachiko's eyes and her composure to crack just a little more, "Because if he is I want to die too. We can be ghosts together then, right?"

Sachiko could say nothing to that. She burst into braying sobs as Watari and Souichiro hurried in to comfort them… 

*********************

When Light awoke, the first thing he thought of was L. 

He felt drowsy and thirsty, but forced his eyes to open. He was in a strange place, and there were weird bleeping noises everywhere. He frowned as someone hovered over him. 

"Light's awake!"

_ 'Mum…?' _

"Darling, I'm here, I'm here" Sachiko peppered his face in kisses, "Mummy's here-"

"L…?" Light rasped, squinting up at her and trying to make sense of his surroundings. He licked his lips and tried again, "Where's L?"

Souichiro, who had bowed his head in thanks, stared at his wife and nodded in understanding.  _ Now _ he believed. His brave son had risked his own life to save his soulmate and he was the first one he asked for when he'd woken up from his coma. How could he not believe it was true? 

"L's sleeping, Darling, he has been here every day drawing you lots of pictures" Sachiko soothed, pressing the buzzer for the Nurses to come, "He's gotten you so many packs of gummy worms-"

Light rasped out a pained laugh, "But did he  _ save _ me anyway?"

Sachiko laughed wetly, tears of joy sliding down her face, "He hasn't eaten a single one. He said they were all for you when you woke up"

A team of Nurses and Doctors crowded around him and Light lay back, sluggish and sleepy. Maybe he'd have a sleep and when he next woke up L would be awake too… 

*********************

When Light next woke, L was there, and the time after that too. In fact, every time Light woke up it was to L and a new packet of gummy worms. His room was littered with cards and other candy but he didn't care about that. He just wanted L. Even the nurses had to bend the rules a little and let L sleep in a bed next to him. It kept Light calm and that was what the little boy needed to heal. Just a half inch more and the bullet would have pierced his stomach and severed an artery, killing him instantly. 

Light Yagami was  _ extremely  _ fortunate to be alive. 

It was a slow process, but slowly Light began to feel a little stronger. By the time Matt and Mello were allowed to visit him, he'd been in hospital for 7 weeks. 

"So  _ cool _ " Matt gasped as Light proudly showed off the large semi-healed scar on his abdomen. 

"Right?" Light smiled as L tentatively stroked the red mark, "Mum says I'm a hero"

"You  _ are _ " L breathed, eyes watery with gratitude and awe, "And your red mark  _ is _ really cool"

Light preened at L's praise, his cheeks flushing with happiness. He'd spoken to his Dad and a Therapist and discovered the bad men who hurt people were gone. He knew by gone the grownups meant  _ dead _ and he was glad of it. They deserved to be dead and when he was a grown up he would make sure it wouldn't happen again. 

Due to the loss of life, staff and the therapy needed by the survivors, the new school term was canceled. Light was finally discharged after 9 weeks and allowed to go home. 

Obviously, L and Watari stayed with the Yagami family. Light needed L to heal, and L, who was showing signs of PTSD, refused to leave Light for a single moment. 

One afternoon, the adults were watching the four friends as they played in the garden. Mello and Matt were hitting each other with inflatable bats but L and Light sat quietly, weaving grass rings to exchange with one another. There was a marked sadness in both of their little faces. 

Sachiko was struck by how changed Light was. He wasn't charging around like he used to. He  _ couldn't.  _ He wouldn't be able to for quite some time. The shooting had changed all of the students. L was terrified of loud bangs and had been diagnosed with PTSD, for which he was receiving treatment. Matt and Mello had been spared the worst of it after some of the older students had pulled them into a classroom and sheltered them, but they felt guilty they'd survived when others hadn't. 

And her Light was more determined than ever to become a police man like his father. Sachiko had once chalked that down to a cute desire of a little boy to follow in his father's footsteps and copy him but she now knew it was deeper. There was a haunted look in Light's eyes that didn't belong there. He'd seen too much, too young. 

Despite the warm breeze, Sachiko shivered. It was like she was witnessing the first signs of the death of their childhood… 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Light celebrates his 10th birthday and L learns that when people grow up, they begin to change...


	6. I'm here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L and Light are 10 and, much to L's dismay, their friendship is changing. But when Light has a panic attack on his birthday the boys are reminded of the strong bond between them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ten! They're growing up so fast!

Although L and Light remained close, as they grew older there was a marked change in their relationship. Light wanted to hang out with other kids while L was quite content to just stay with Light. Light was more confident and outgoing, more 'world wise' than L was. They still remained the best of friends, however, and no one at Wammy's House School for the Gifted  _ dared _ to bully L anymore. 

Light's 10th birthday was approaching and he was throwing a birthday party. L couldn't help but feel a little intimidated by the sheer number of people going.  _ 'But I'm his  _ **_best_ ** _ friend so it will be fine' _ he assured himself as he climbed into the car and waited for his Dad to drive him to Light's.  _ 'Besides, Matt and Mello will be there too' _

"Excited for the party?" Watari asked, backing out of the driveway. 

"Yeah" L smiled thinly, "But… there are going to be a  _ lot _ of people there. Sayu's friends are coming too"

Watari smiled at L through the rear view mirror. "You'll be fine, my boy. You and Light have been best friends for a long time but it's good Light has invited other people as well. Maybe you could make some new friends?"

L pouted. He didn't really  _ want _ new friends and he doubted he could even get any anyway. He knew he wasn't as cool or popular as Light and he didn't want to spoil Light's birthday but he had hoped they could have spent it as just the two of them. They could have gone bowling or maybe gone to the cinema! Light having a big party was new and strange for L. 

"L?" Watari asked, feeling concerned as L gazed pensively out of the window. 

"It's nothing" L closed his eyes and rested his head against the glass, wishing for those bygone days where it was just him and Light against the world… 

********************

Sachiko too was feeling oddly wistful as she finished putting the last of the balloons up. It felt like only yesterday she was hosting little tea parties for Light and L and now Light was having a party for  _ forty  _ of his schoolmates. Her boy was growing up right before her very eyes. He'd left behind single digits and his teenage years lay just ahead… 

_ 'God help me' _

The theme of the party was some popular TV show she'd never heard of, but she'd diligently bought in everything associated with it to make the party special. She knew how important reputation was to Light, he followed his father that way. Light was brimming with excitement as he waited for L and Watari to arrive. 

She watched her son as he typed out a message on his mobile phone and couldn't help but feel a bit sad. Kids grew up so fast these days. Souichiro said it was probably caused, in part at least, by the ordeal of the shooting. Perhaps it was. All she knew was that she felt a little whimsical that L remained sweet and child-like while her son seemed to be morphing into a young man, right before her eyes. 

_ 'But then Light very nearly died. That has had a profound effect on him. He's more guarded than he used to be whereas L's maintained his ability to trust. Those poor boys have been through so much' _

She was drawn out of her melancholy when Sayu wandered into the kitchen. She was still a baby at just six years old and she was very excited about the party. Sachiko smiled at the sight of her in her pale pink party dress. "Don't you look lovely, Dear!"

"Thanks Mummy!' Sayu chirped and made a beeline for the cupcakes. Unable to resist allowing her one, Sachiko shot her a wink and set a pink frosted cupcake aside. 

"Don't eat all the cupcakes, Sayu, L will want some too" Light looked up from his phone with a smile, "They're here!"

Sachiko rolled her eyes fondly as Light dashed to the front door to let L and Watari in. At least _that_ hadn't changed. 

L bounded into the kitchen, all wild hair and bright eyes and Sachiko softened at the sight of him. She viewed L as a second son, one day to be her son in  _ law _ . 

"Hello, Dear" Sachiko smiled as L wrapped his arms around her for a hug. Hugs from Light were few and far between now, but L was always free with them. 

"Hello" Watari glanced around the chaos that was Sachiko's kitchen, "Need a hand?"

"Please" Sachiko sighed in gratitude. The boys went off to play and left the grown ups to set out the food. Naturally, L snagged some cupcakes on his way out of the kitchen. 

"Hey, Sayu, you look nice" L smiled politely at Light's little sister as they passed. 

Sayu blushed bright red and Light rolled his eyes. "She does  _ not,  _ L" he muttered. Why wasn't L saying  _ he _ looked nice in his new T-shirt and jeans? 

L shrugged, "I think she does"

Not quite sure why that bothered him, Light brushed past Sayu and headed up the stairs to his bedroom. As always, L trotted along behind him. As soon as they were alone, Light pulled L to him for a hug. L briefly wondered why Light wouldn't hug him in front of other people anymore but shoved that thought aside. It was just nice to rest his head on Light's shoulder and soak up the moment. 

Until the moment was shattered, anyway. Someone banged open the front door and the vase next to it toppled and smashed due to the force. L went ramrod stiff in Light's arms, his eyes widened as his breath caught in his throat. 

"It's okay, it's okay" Light soothed automatically, arms tightening around L, "You're alright, you're safe"

L quivered as he gulped for air. He was getting better with loud noises and flashes of light but they just brought him back to the terror he'd felt that day. 

"I-i'm fine. Thank you, Light" L regretfully pulled away from Light and smiled faintly. "I bought you something but… I guess you'd want to have it here" L rummaged in his hoodie pocket and produced a crumpled gift. "This is just from me. Dad has your main present downstairs"

Light opened the gift and smiled as he held the little snow globe. It was similar to the one he'd got L all those years ago. L had chosen a photo of them at the Zoo with a boa draped over their shoulders. 

Light felt his stomach tighten and he gently clasped the snow globe. "You still have the one I bought you?"

L nodded, eyes large and serious, "Yes, I will always keep it. It's the most precious thing I own"

"Then I will always keep this too" Light vowed, gently placing it on his bookshelf. "Thank you, L"

L bit his lip in uncertainty. He wanted to say more, to beg Light to be his best friend forever, but he couldn't. It wasn't Light's fault he was popular and he knew, deep down, he was being insecure. 

The excited chatter of their classmates reached their ears and Light held out his hand for L to take. "Come on, let's head back downstairs"

L grasped the soft hand and closed his eyes, wishing he and Light could always walk hand in hand. He knew it wasn't something most boys did but he didn't see the issue with it. He just wanted to always be close to Light. Once they'd reached the bottom of the stairs, however, Light let go of his hand and L mourned the loss of that soft hand holding his. 

And then chaos erupted as Light bounded over to his classmates. Feeling a bit overwhelmed, L wandered over to Matt and Mello, smiling gratefully as he greeted him with warm, understandinding smiles. 

"Loud, huh? Are you doing okay?" Matt asked, noticing L was visibly agitated. 

"Fine!" L snagged another cupcake, watching as Light tore into his mound of gifts. "Lights having fun, that's all that matters"

Mello and Matt shared a  _ look _ but said nothing. More people were arriving and space was becoming limited. They went to the lounge and sat down on the sofas, content to chat amongst themselves and nibble on party food. L was laughing at something Matt had said when a blur of motion caught his eye. Light was curled into a ball, visibly shaking as another boy pretended to shoot him with a toy gun. 

"L!" Light cried, tears in his voice and L darted towards him. Even in his panic Light was trying to protect him! He recognized the signs of a panic attack, God knew he'd had enough of them, and dropped down to the floor to comfort Light. Sachiko was white as she watched her son's distress but knew L, Light's Soulmate, was the only one who could comfort him. That stung. It was her mother's instinct to reach out for him but Watari shook his head and gently pulled her away. 

"Get that damn thing away from him!" Matt snapped as he grabbed the gun from the boy and flung it across the room, "Fucking  _ jerk _ you  _ know _ what he's been through!"

"I'm sorry! I didn't…It was just a j-joke!" Timothy looked shaken at L's distress and hastily backed away. 

"It's okay, Light, it isn't real" L soothed, eyes imploring Light to listen to him, "Come on" he gently rocked Light's shoulder. "Come to the garden for some fresh air"

Light was shaking in rage and in fear and he blindly reached for L's hand, uncaring if anyone made fun of him. The silence was heavy as L drew Light out into the garden and away from the stares. 

"Oh god, L" Light broke down and L wrapped him in his arms, doing all he could to soothe his distraught friend. 

"I thought… I really thought… "

L squeezed Light tighter. "I know and you are so brave, Light. You're the bravest person ever"

"Ever?"

L smiled at the soft hitch in Light's voice. " _Ever_ " he repeated firmly, "And Timothy is an asshole"

Light snorted through his tears, hearing L swear wasn't really a common occurance and it was pretty funny. He took a deep breath and then another, feeling calm spread through him. "I don't know what came over me" he admitted softly, "I've made such an idiot of myself"

_ 'You're not an idiot, Light, you are the best person in the whole world'  _ L rested his head on Light's shoulder and murmured the vows they had exchanged into his ear. Light flushed, his heart hammering. He looked back on those vows they'd exchanged as a childish game but hearing them now made him feel invincible. As long as he had L he'd be okay, he knew it. 

"Can you stay over tonight?" Light whispered, hoping he didn't sound as weak and pathetic as he felt. 

"Of course" L pecked Light's cheek and pulled away, a soft warmth in his eyes. 

"I don't want to see anyone now" Light admitted quietly, "I don't want a party. I just want to read comics with you"

L flushed, his smile growing, "Well, it's your party. Send them home. We can read comics all night and eat the party food!"

Light mustered up a small smile.  _ 'You're always thinking about sweets, L, it's one of the things I love about you' _

The two boys returned to the party and Light loudly announced he wasn't feeling well. Sachiko and Watari handed out the party bags to the children and rang around their parents to explain Light had taken ill. Within an hour the house was quiet, blissfully so, and L and Light had taken themselves upstairs to be alone. 

"It will be alright, Sachiko" Watari soothed as the silence broke Sachiko and she began to cry, "They have each other"

Sachiko nodded, grateful that at least fate had gifted L and Light one another. She'd dread to think how they'd deal with their trauma if it hadn't… 

Later that night, L and Light lay curled up together like they used to when they were younger. Light had fallen asleep but L was wide awake, watching over his friend. Light was mumbling and his face was scrunched up. L pressed closer and kissed Light's cheek. 

"L…" Light mumbled, and L softly ran his fingers through his hair, "It's okay, I'm here"

Light eventually settled and L wrapped himself up in Light's arms. Here, cuddled close under the warm duvet, they were safe…


	7. Realisations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L, Light and the gang are 13. First kisses, painful realisations and arguments happen as teen hormones hit *hard*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The time skips will slow down now to focus on L and Light as teenagers and their changing relationship between the ages of 13-18. 
> 
> Be warned, Drama is afoot but there will always be cute fluff to balance it out 💖 and we all know this will have a happy ending!

Light, L, Matt and Mello were now on the brink of their teens and like most teens, they were in a gang. The gang only consisted of four members (no one else was allowed to join) and their gang had three cardinal rules that  _ had _ to be obeyed:

  1. No girls allowed. Ever. Annoying girls like Sayu did not belong in a Guys gang! 
  2. You always had each other's backs no matter what. 
  3. Pranking Roger was a _must_ and had to be done whenever possible and as often as possible, groundings none withstanding. 



Being in a gang was great:They spent their free time adding to their den, making Roger's life a misery, and being super special Secret Agents, except now they were  _ cool _ Secret Agents and not lame ones like they used to be when they were  _ babies _ . Light was the leader of the gang, an accolade Matt, Mello and L decided he deserved in recognition of his cool scar and his bravery during the school shooting 6 years ago. 

It was Friday and the four boys were to be found sat in their secret den as a light summer rain fell. They had met up after class to work on their latest prank. Matt had suggested putting laxatives in Roger's coffee and now they were plotting a way to get into the nurses office to 'borrow' some. 

"It's always locked" L sighed as he crossed out 'Boot the door down', "So I don't think we could do that" he didn't want to admit the loud noise would frighten him, but Light understood and hastily agreed that booting the door down was not an option. 

"What about a bomb?" Mello suggested, all wide-eyed mischief. Mello was not as sensitive as Light and Matt, and often forgot L didn't like loud noises. He wasn't sure where he could get a bomb from exactly, but surely there had to be some lying around somewhere like in the video games he and Matt played? 

"No bombs" Light said firmly. He'd established himself as the leader of their group, his natural charisma and knack for taking the lead shining through, and his word was law. L would be terrified of the noise bombs made and he wouldn't tolerate that. "We'd get grounded for doing that" he added with a roll of his eyes, "And I've just  _ been  _ grounded!"

L patted Light's shoulder in sympathy. Light had been grounded for a week after he'd told Roger he was 'Disgustingly smelly' in French Class and honestly, L didn't see what the big deal was. Roger  _ was _ super stinky! He was called 'coffee breath' for a  _ reason _ . 

"Okay, fine" Matt picked up the paper. "Bombs are out, getting a rhino to charge down the door is out because there are no Rhinos-"

"There  _ are  _ though! In the zoo!" Mello protested loudly. 

"And how are we going to  _ get _ a Rhino from the  _ zoo _ , Mello?" Light asked in exasperation. He loved his friends dearly but god did having four people make plotting more difficult. It was always so much easier when it was just him and L. 

"Wait. I have an idea" L tapped his chin in thought, a wicked smile curling his lips. "Yes. This will work!"

"Share it then!" Mello threw a jellybean at his head. 

L plucked up the jellybean from his leg and ate it before he grabbed the paper, "Okay. So, the plan is simple, Light has to make use of those acting skills of his…"

***************

Light peered up at the Student Nurse, a rather large and sullen woman named Julia Banks, and clutched his stomach pitifully. 

"I feel sick, Miss" Light lowered his eyes and cringed, looking very sorry for himself indeed. 

Julia sighed and pressed against Light's stomach carefully. She couldn't tell if Light was pulling a fast one to get out of class and she was conscious of the boy's old injury on his belly. It wasn't often she saw Mr Yagami in her office, not half as often as Mr Kheel anyway… 

"Alright, Dear" she removed her hands, "I'll get you something for your belly. Perhaps it's best if you take the rest of the day off, just in case you have a tummy bug"

Light simply smiled, "Thank you, Nurse, but that won't be necessary. If I feel worse I will leave but I really do need to go to class, we have exams coming up" there was nothing wrong with  _ his  _ belly but very soon there'd be something wrong with Roger's and he needed to be in French class to see it! 

"Aw…" The Nurse softened, impressed by Light's zeal for academia. Perhaps all the things she'd heard about him and his little gang of trouble makers were just rumors? Light certainly didn't look like a bad kid to her. In fact, he was a very handsome and charming young man. Good grades too. Surely trouble makers had bad grades? 

Suddenly the Tanoy's jingle sounded and Light bit back a grin as Mello's perfect imitation of the Secretary Mrs Saunders sounded:

"Good morning, Students and Faculty, Could Nurse Julia please come to reception immediately, thank you"

"Oh?" Julia hoped it wasn't about that parking misdemeanour from the other day… she glanced at Light and weighed up her options. She shouldn't really leave students in her office but Light seemed like such a  _ good _ boy… 

"Please go, Miss, I will wait here" Light smiled innocently, already eyeing up the bottle of laxatives in the cupboard. The Nurse rushed off and Light jumped to his feet. The silly woman had left the cupboard open in her haste (just as Light had predicted she would) and he grabbed the bottle. How many should he take? 

He upended the bottle and counted out ten little brown pills. That should be enough to cause some  _ explosive _ results but not enough to be missed. He swiftly replaced the bottle and snickered to himself. He couldn't  _ wait _ for French class… 

******************

Slipping the laxatives into Roger's coffee had been a piece of cake. L had History class with him and, using Mello as a decoy, managed to dump them into the coffee at the beginning of the lesson. They all knew Roger waited precisely 10 minutes for it to cool before he drank it- plenty of time for the tablets to melt.

L bit his lip as he watched Roger take that first all important sip. He discreetly slid his phone from his pocket and texted Light:

_ 'We've done it! He's drinking it now!  _ 😂😂😂'

**Light: Awesome, I never doubted you for a second, L! Can't wait for French haha! See you at lunch! 👿**

"Mr Lawliet, are you texting?" Roger barked as he noticed L staring suspiciously down at his lap. 

L gave Roger a blank stare. "No…"

Mello snickered and L felt his lip twitch again.  _ 'No, I can't give anything away' _ he reminded himself as he kept a straight poker face. 

"Then pray tell what you're doing?" Roger asked sarcastically, well and truly done with L and his gangs bullshit. 

"I think he's staring at his junk, Sir" Mello piped up 'helpfully, earning himself titters from the class. Even Beyond snickered and L felt his ears go red. He wasn't staring at his junk!  _ 'Dammit, Mello!'  _ He just knew the other students were going to be talking about his 'junk staring' for days. It was nearly as bad as being called 'Monkey Boy' when he was a kid! He glanced at Beyond and noticed he was staring at him again.  _ 'What's that about?' _

"Then please save your staring for later" Roger turned his back and took another sip of life-giving coffee, blissfully unaware of the dire consequences awaiting him. Laughter erupted from the class but was hastily hushed as Roger snapped at them to keep quiet and read their textbooks. 

"Yes, Sir. Sorry" L flashed Mello a glare before smiling sweetly at Roger. Roger didn't buy it for a single second. 

The class  _ dragged _ and as soon as the bell rang, L and Mello bolted for the door. L bumped into Beyond and the two stared at each other, half expecting an insult to be slung. Instead, Beyond flushed and hastily walked away, surprising L and making Mello burst out laughing. He knew what that look meant! Beyond had a crush on L! 

"Swear he's gay for you" Mello teased as Beyond disappeared around the corner. 

"What?" L scrunched up his face, "I don't get what you mean"

"You know!" Mello rolled his eyes and gave L a kissy face, "He wants to  _ snog _ you"

L was appalled and hastily shook his head. "I wouldn't snog  _ him _ !" 

Mello's eyes twinkled with mirth because L could still be such a  _ baby _ at times. Light often told him off for teasing when L didn't understand things like this, but as far as Mello was concerned, L really needed to find this stuff out "But you'd kiss Light, yeah?" He asked, trying to make L understand that he probably  _ was _ gay, he just didn't realise it. Not that it bothered Mello one bit. L was his friend. 

L shrugged. "Sure. But that's different. That isn't gay" he was tempted to add they were married but Light had said to keep it a secret so he did, even though he wasn't sure  _ why _ Light didn't want to tell anyone. Light was the most important person in the world to him, so obviously he'd kiss him! 

Mello snorted and clapped L on the shoulder, "My friend, that is  _ very _ gay"

Poor L was left to ponder on that as they went for lunch. He didn't  _ feel _ gay, so surely he wasn't? He didn't want to kiss boys  _ or _ girls thank you very much! 

_ 'I'll ask Light about it later' _ he decided, already distracted by the vast selection of cakes on display… 

Once they'd eaten lunch, L pulled Light to one side and repeated what Mello had said. 

Light flushed and made a mental note to tell Mello to shut the fuck up about stuff like that. L might be a few months older than them but he was still very much the baby of the gang and was rather innocent. Light wanted to keep it that way because he knew  _ way _ too much for a 13 year old thanks to Matt and Mello's colourful tales and his little forays on the Internet… 

"It's fine, L" Light clapped L's shoulder, "You don't think about kissing girls  _ or _ guys, do you?" He asked, curious to see what L would say. He'd been wondering if L had been having similar feelings for a while now. L never mentioned jerking off, not like Matt and Mello did. Did L even jerk off? 

_ 'No! Don't even think about that, that's weird!' _

L shook his head, face scrunched up in confusion. Light  _ did _ think about kissing girls, and felt bad for not sharing it with L like he did with Matt and Mello, but L was just innocent like that so there was no point, was there? 

"So ignore it. He's teasing you" Light said decisively. 

L frowned. Why did he get the feeling he was missing something here? "Light, why can't I tell people we are married?" He asked bluntly. 

Light cringed. L had said that a little  _ too _ loudly and he had his reputation to think of. "Because it's a  _ secret _ , L! If you tell everyone then it becomes boring, okay?"

L sighed. He supposed he could see the logic in that. It was great to have a secret and he still kept a pile of the grass rings Light had made him over the years in his desk drawer. Not even his Dad knew about those. "Okay, I guess"

"Good" Light felt a bit guilty for lying to L but his friend just didn't understand you couldn't say stuff like that without having the shit ripped out of you. L was sweet and kind and didn't deserve that. They'd done that 'married' stuff when they were kids but they were practically grown ups now! Light knew what marriage meant now and he and L were not married. They were just best friends. 

"Anyway, let's go, it's nearly time for French!" Light's eyes lit up with glee and L grinned at him, his concerns forgotten easily as they so often are to the young. 

"Awesome! Let's go!"

********************

On the way to French class, Light whispered to Mello to lay off the gay talk. "He doesn't understand and it confuses him so knock it off, Mels" Light stated firmly. L was a  _ young  _ 13, not like  _ he _ or Matt and Mello. They looked at dirty magazines so they were  _ men _ . L was still a kid. He was just looking out for his best friend, he reasoned, so there was no need to feel guilty for not including L in their porno binges.  _ 'But I will be keeping a closer eye on Beyond because I'll kill him if he kisses L!'  _ Light thought, glancing over his shoulder and sending Beyond a glare. 

They filed into French class and shared secret smirks at how  _ queasy _ Roger looked. The Gang sat together, eyes locked expectantly on Roger as he sat down. 

"It's showtime, bitches!" Mello cackled evilly as Roger's belly suddenly gurgled loudly, making the students snigger. 

An announcement rang out over the Tannoy to warn students not to imitate the faculty and Mello ducked his head to smother his laughter. He was working on his Roger impression and he reckoned in a few more days it would be good to go. 

_ 'Much like Roger is. Ha, he's actually  _ **_squirming_ ** _ In his seat _ ! ' Mello thought, unable to repress his wicked grin of delight. Roger was looking increasingly uncomfortable as the class wore on, and Light and L shared a secret smirk. Now it was payback time, if Roger thought he could get away with giving them detention for a week he had another thing coming! 

"Excuse me, Class, I need to use the bathroom" Roger tried to leave with dignity intact, but as soon as he rose from his seat he let out the biggest, smelliest fart and promptly  _ shit himself _ . 

The students howled with laughter and L had tears rolling down his face as he watched Roger  _ run _ from the class. 

"Oh my god. Oh my god!" Matt wheezed, slapping the desk as he fought for breath, "That was  _ brilliant!" _

Watari, who was walking past the room, entered upon hearing the laughter (and seeing Roger dash to the toilets) and gazed around sternly at the students.  _ 'Has to be the old Laxative stunt. I pulled it myself when I was a boy. And I suspect I know just who is responsible' _

L immediately sobered up and ducked his head as he felt his Dad's gaze fall on him.  _ 'Oh shit, I'm in trouble' _

"L…" Watari narrowed his eyes. He just  _ knew _ his son had been up to no good. Again. 

"Don't you dare grass on us!" Mello hissed as Watari ordered L to his office. A supply teacher was called for and Light gazed longingly at the door L and Watari had left through. He knew L wouldn't grass on them, he just hoped L would be spared grounding. 

********************

L wasn't spared. He refused to say anything and Watari had no choice but to ground him for a week as punishment. L spent his time sulking in his room, doodling and sending instant messages to his friends. They all praised his bravery in not telling Watari and Light promised to sneak him extra sweets when he could to make his 'Jail time' more bearable. 

L thought back to his conversation with Mello (which had been playing on his mind a lot) and typed into Google 'Am I gay?'

His eyes were wide as saucers at what was displayed. A video came up so, naively, L clicked on it. 

A man was putting his willy into another man's  _ butt _ ! They were making funny noises and L wasn't sure if they were enjoying it (how could  _ that _ be enjoyable though?) or if they were in pain. L couldn't deny he wasn't intrigued... 

The bigger man suddenly slammed into the other one and tableware smashed to the ground, startling poor L. 

"Aaaagh!" L yelled in shock and shoved his laptop away from him. Watari rushed upstairs in alarm. 

"L? What's the matter?"

L wasn't sure how to explain and sat in mute silence as the porn continued to play in the background on his smashed laptop. 

_ 'Oh dear. It seems it's time for 'the talk' I was hoping it could wait a little longer!'  _ Watari thought, genuinely surprised it was necessary right now. L had always struck him as a little less advanced in that area than his friends… 

"Dad, I didn't mean to click on it. I asked Google a question and it came up!" L blurted out, mistaking Watari's shock for disapproval, "I'm sorry. I really didn't mean to…"

"What did you ask google, L?" Watari asked, understanding dawning. Of course his little boy wasn't ready for 'the talk' yet, it had all just been a mistake. He breathed a sigh of relief. 

L sighed and curled into a ball. In a very small voice he whispered "I asked Google am I gay. Mello thinks I am"

_ 'Oh my poor, sweet boy' _ Watari melted and gathered L into his arms. 

"You will find that out for yourself when you are a bit older, L, you shouldn't be trying to find the answers online, alright? And if you  _ are _ gay then so what? You are  _ you _ and you should never be ashamed to be who you are. Promise me you won't do that again" Watari made a mental note to increase the security on the network. He didn't want L stumbling across things like  _ that _ ! 

L nodded and wrapped his arms tightly around his Dad. "I'm sorry. I promise I won't" he was confused but at least he wasn't in trouble. 

Meanwhile, Light  _ was _ in trouble, Kiyomi had cornered him by the lockers and challenged him about his friendship with L. 

"Everyone thinks you  _ like  _ like him," Kiyomi teased, "Do you?"

"What?!  _ No _ !" Light spluttered in shock. "I don't like _ anyone _ !" Light did like L but not  _ that _ way.  _ 'This is why I told him to keep that baby marriage thing a secret' _ he thought in despair. He knew gay guys liked other guys and were seen as super lame and he refused to be seen like that. He was coming in 13 and practically a man. Obviously he wasn't gay! 

"Pah. I bet you've never even kissed a girl" Kiyomi crowed, edging closer. She'd been dared by the other girls to kiss Light Yagami and she was determined to do it! 

"Have too!" Light retorted, face going red. Matt and Mello looked at each other, not quite sure what to do. For all their talk of jerking off none of them had actually kissed a girl. 

"Oh yeah? Well kiss  _ me _ then and prove it" Kiyomi put her hands on her hips and smirked challengingly at Light. Light stepped forward, his face as red as a tomato and planted a wet kiss on her lips. 

Kiyomi's friends cheered while Matt and Mello heaved. It was one thing to look at those dirty mag's but to see Light actually kiss a girl was  _ weird!  _

Light pulled away triumphantly. "See?" Light smirked then walked away with his head held high. He'd kissed a girl. He was normal and now his reputation was saved. 

But little did Light know that was just the  _ start _ of his problems. Because Matt mentioned Light had kissed Kiyomi over instant messenger to L and L was  _ pissed…  _

********************

The next day, L surprised the gang by turning up to their den. Matt, Mello and Light were crowded around a magazine and didn't notice him arrive at first. He wasn't expected since he was still supposed to be grounded for another day. 

"Why are you looking at  _ that _ ?"

"Fuck, L! Coulda warned us!" Matt gasped, nearly having a heart attack as L suddenly stooped down to pick it up. 

L gazed at that magazine, distaste clearly written on his features. "Gross" he concluded, handing it back to Mello. 

"It's not gross" Mello defended, "Just cos you're into guys doesn't mean everyone is"

Light sighed deeply, shooting Mello a glare.  _ 'What did I say about dropping that?' _

"What?! Since when?" L snapped, his eyes dark and angry, "Fuck you, Mello, you don't get to decide what I am for me! And I'm surprised at you, Light, is this what you were doing when you said you couldn't go swimming with me last week?"

Mello bit his lip. L sounded like an old housewife! So what if they were normal and looked at stuff like this! 

"Well… I mean…" Light scratched his neck, feeling awkward and unsure. He wasn't used to seeing L so pissed off. 

"Or were you kissing Kiyomi Takada instead?" L was livid. How could Light not have told him about that? It was his first kiss, that shit was important.  _ 'And it wasn't with me!... Shit. Mello's right. I really am gay aren't I. I… have feelings for Light that I shouldn't have!' _ The realisation brought tears to his eyes and all L wanted to do was  _ run.  _

"Who I kiss is none of your business, L" Light said quietly, his stomach churning in anxiety. He could see the situation escalating and he wasn't sure what to do about it. 

"Isn't it? We're supposed to be best friends!" L yelled in frustration, tears sparkling in his eyes, "You know what, fuck the lot of you!" he turned on his heel and stormed off.

Light jumped to his feet and called out his name but L had already vanished into the woods. 

_ 'He's just upset. He'll walk it off and calm down then we can talk' _ Light tried to comfort himself. He wasn't in the mood to look at the dirty magazine anymore so sat down and waited for L to come back. 

But after an hour and his messages being ignored, Light was forced to admit that L wasn't coming back. Something huge had shifted the relationship between them and Light felt tears sting his eyes. Things had changed between them and it felt like he and L were walking in different directions. 

_ 'Am I losing L?' _


	8. Clearing the Air and Coming out!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the arguement, L does a lot of thinking and *ahem* other things. The boys make up but everyone notices the changes happening between them as they grow up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for this chapter: Homophobia, Homophobic slurs and non-graphic references to teen masturbation.  
> 🌈 L comes out!! 🌈

The day after the argument, L surprised Watari by stating he was staying in and doing homework. Watari was surprised given it was a Friday and L always had dinner with the Yagamis on a Friday. L was blossoming into an exceptionally skilled artist, and so Watari decided it was best to leave him sulk in his studio. If L wanted to talk he'd come to him in his own time and not a moment before. L was a quiet, shy boy and no amount of prodding would get him to open up unless  _ he _ felt ready. 

_ 'He's obviously had a falling out with Light' _ Watari thought with a sigh. Even chocolate wasn't cheering his moody son up and that  _ racket  _ L called 'music' coming from his studio hinted at heartbreak.  _ 'I sense Teenage hormones at work here. Hmm. Maybe I  _ **_should_ ** _ sit him down soon for the talk?' _

Watari decided he'd ask Sachiko and Souichiro how they intended to play it with Light. He wouldn't be surprised if Light already knew anyway, he struck him as more forward in such areas than L was.  _ 'But they are soulmates and they are destined to be together. Everything will work out in the end. They just need to weather the storm of the dreaded teen years!' _

As Watari went to ring the Yagamis, L stomped around his room and debated whether or not to tear his hair out in frustration. 

The shade of purple he'd chosen wasn't right and now the whole damn painting was ruined. It was a moody, moonlit beach scene and the purple was too bright to suit the brooding tone.  _ 'I shouldn't be making mistakes like this!' _ L thought in annoyance as he mixed up a new pigment. Maybe the picture could be saved. 

His relationship with Light? He wasn't so sure about that. He glanced at his phone. Light hadn't text him since last night and L was ignoring him. 

_ 'I suppose in hindsight he's right. It isn't any of my business. I don't have a claim on him. Fuck, I'm acting as if I do. When did my feelings for him change? It's going to ruin everything!' _

L blinked back tears, refusing to start crying again. He had work to do. Hopefully a bit of space from Light and the M's would help him put things into perspective. But even as he thought that his traitouress eyes overflowed and tears trickled down his nose. 

He left his painting and laid down on the couch, his head feeling too full of  _ stuff _ that he could barely think. 

_ 'I am gay but I'm not interested in other boys at school! How does that even work? It's just  _ **_Light_ ** _ I want to kiss! I've always wanted to be the most important person in his life but it goes beyond friendship now. I can see it now. I was  _ **_jealous_ ** _ he kissed her. I'm jealous they look at porn and think about girls together and I'm kept apart from it. I don't care for being seen as 'normal' and I don't care about my reputation like they do, and it's setting me apart from them. I'm… I'm just not like them anymore' _

L laughed miserably. "I'm a fucking wierdo, why would he want anything to do with me now?" he whispered to himself. "Does he know how I feel about him or-  _ fuck! _ " Suddenly it all made perfect sense. Light wouldn't tell anyone they were married because they fucking  _ weren't  _ married. It was a child's game and they were growing up. Light didn't want people to  _ laugh _ at them. Light didn't want him that way. Of course he didn't. Light was straight and thought about girls. Light looked at porn and kissed girls. Light was normal.  _ He  _ was the one who was different. On that cheery note, L went to bed. 

After an hour or so of tossing and turning, L woke to find a sticky mess in his boxers and cringed. He'd dozed off and had been dreaming of that video he'd watched and… Well. Clearly it had intrigued him more than he thought.

L lay in bed and thought about Matt, Mello and Light looking at that magazine. Was his accidental foray into porn any different? What gave him the right to judge? They were teenagers and that's what teenagers did. Maybe that's what he should do too, then maybe he wouldn't feel so distant from his friends? 

"Fuck sake" L sighed, "It shouldn't have gotten so out of hand. I hope we can get passed this"

He debated getting up and having a shower but he still felt on edge. He squirmed as he felt himself hardening again in his boxers.  _ 'I promised Watari I wouldn't but… it's time to find out if I really do like guys or just Light' _

L had jerked off the grand total of once, and that was only because he'd overheard some older students talking about it. It had felt okay but L hadn't really been thinking about anyone at the time and the whole thing felt a bit  _ flat _ . 

Would it be different now? There was only one way to find out! L reached for his phone, easily bypassed Watari's child lock and searched for videos of boys kissing. He bit his lip as a hot spike shot through him and he knew then that he was  _ more _ than intrigued. Feeling bolder, L clicked on some substantially more explicit videos.  _ 'Oh god… ' _ he squirmed, the hardness between his legs  _ throbbing _ . 

For the first time since the argument, L smiled. At least he'd solved one problem. 

Now he just had another big,  _ hard _ problem to solve… 

********************

"Light, can you come here please?"

Light sighed and trudged into the kitchen. "What, Mum?" he muttered, leaning against the wall and giving another sigh. Sachiko stared up at her son (Light was going to be tall, just like his father) and pursed her lips. She needed to approach this delicately. 

"Is L coming around for dinner tonight, Love?" She asked gently, "It's Friday and he usually does. I haven't heard from him so I thought you'd know?"

Light chewed his lip. It was so awkward because L and his Mum were close. It was more than awkward, it downright  _ sucked _ . L  _ should  _ be here with him for dinner but instead he'd stormed off after an argument Light was still trying to understand! "He's busy with school stuff, Mum"

"Oh…" Sachiko felt her stomach drop. "Light… have you two had a falling out?"

_ "You know what, fuck the lot of you!" _

_ "L! Wait-" _

"No. It's fine. We're fine, he's just busy," Light snatched an apple from the fruit bowl, "And so am I. We're not six anymore, Mum, we don't live in each other's pockets you know" Light's voice cracked and he wouldn't meet his Mother's knowing gaze.  _ 'But we are still best mates. We  _ **_have_ ** _ to be!' _

Sachiko closed her eyes and Light felt a sting of pain run through him at how  _ hurt _ his mother looked and at how hurt he was… 

"Light…" Sachiko so desperately wanted to tell her son what her mother had foreseen but she couldn't bring herself to do it. Light was only 13. Far too young (despite what Light thought) to think about forevers and soulmates. "I'm not going to pry but if you  _ have _ had a falling out just remember how close you are and how much you love one another. It will all work out"

"... Yeah, I know. It's fine. I've got homework to do. See you for dinner" Light swiftly strode out of the kitchen, poking his tongue out to Sayu as he passed. 

"Mum! Light's being mean again!" Sayu stomped into the kitchen, "He's such a jerk!"

Sachiko sighed and glanced at the bottle of wine on the counter. Gods was it tempting. What she wouldn't give to have Light and Sayu little again! 

********************

The weekend passed and despite the glorious sunshine, L had barely registered it. He'd done a lot of thinking, a lot of painting and had acquainted himself very well with his left hand too. L finally felt like he understood things better now and that gave him hope. Watari had sat him down for 'the talk' (L cringed just thinking of it) and L had stoically endured it before telling Watari with certainty he  _ was _ gay. Watari had simply smiled and ruffled his hair in a way which hinted he'd already known. 

Matt had text him and after breaking the ice they'd chatted as if nothing had happened, but Matt had warned L they'd been overheard by some older students hanging out in the woods and that some were now calling L gay. 

_ 'Well, I am, so there's no point in hiding from the truth!' _

L walked into school with his head held high. He was prepared for the gossip and whispers and let them slide off him like rain. He'd endured worse. 

"L, is it true you and Light aren't friends anymore? Is it cos you're gay and he isn't?"

L arched an eyebrow at Takada before looking down his nose at her. "I don't know, Takada, is it true you're unaware there are foundations available in shades other than  _ orange _ ?" he snarled, biting back a smirk as a few lingering students snickered into their hands. 

"You- you're just jealous I kissed him and you didn't! You're such a sad little  _ fag _ ! Light will  _ never _ like you, you freak!" Kiyomi hissed spitefully. 

L kept his face carefully blank. He would  _ not _ show how much that hurt. It cut too close to the truth. "And you're a bitch" he replied pleasantly, "Now please move, you're standing in front of my locker"

Kiyomi's eyes narrowed. L was such a prick! Who did he think he was? She was about to give him a piece of her mind when Light appeared round the corner and made a beeline for L. Kiyomi fluttered her lashes but she might well have not bothered. Light's attention was fixed on L. She moved from L's locker, seething. She'd get her own back for this. By the time the day had ended  _ everyone _ would be talking about how L Lawliet was a sick, gross  _ faggot _ . She'd write it on the damn walls! 

"Hey, uh, can we talk?"

L glanced at Light and felt his heart clench at the sight of him.  _ 'Dammit. Why did I get a crush on him? This isn't fair!' _

"Sure" L yanked his books from his locker. "What's up?" He tried to keep his tone casual despite how nervous he was feeling. He and Light had never fallen out before and he was frightened Light would just walk away, especially with half the school gossiping about him. 

"I want to talk about Friday" Light mumbled, "What happened Friday, L? You were so  _ mad _ and I don't understand why"

L resisted the urge to roll his eyes.  _ 'Well, least that answers my question. He doesn't know about my feelings because he's blind to them. I stand no chance. Best get used to it _ " 

"L?" Light promoted gently, his mother's words echoing in his head. He and L had had each others back since they were 6. He wasn't about to throw in the towel on their friendship just because of a misunderstanding. He'd spoken to Mello and it was decided they'd be extra sensitive about L's sexuality. No more  _ 'we're normal' _ from Mello. If L was gay that was fine with Light. He just wanted his friend to be  _ happy _ and not feel excluded. He wanted L to feel like he could come out to them. 

"I was pissed at you guys for keeping secrets from me. I don't  _ care _ if you want to look at porn but don't sneak around behind my back to do it. You want to kiss that skank Takada? Be my guest. But you could have at least  _ told _ me instead of bragging to Matt and Mello" L took a deep breath, "Because I feel like we're drifting apart, Light" he looked up into those gorgeous amber eyes, "And that terrifies me"  _ 'I'm also feeling things for you I now know you couldn't return and that terrifies me too' _ he added mentally, wishing he could tell Light how he felt. He'd reflected on it all weekend and he knew without a shadow of a doubt his feelings for Light had crossed through the clear water of friendship and into rather murky water indeed. 

"Oh, L… I'm so sorry" Light pulled L into his arms for a hug and L held back tears through sheer force of will as he hugged Light back, "Matt and Mello said you weren't into that stuff and honestly I thought I was looking out for you by not getting you involved. You're my best friend. You will  _ always _ be my best friend! I'm sorry you felt left out. I don't want us to drift apart"

They were attracting attention by now but neither seemed to care. Light gave L a sweet smile. "She  _ is _ a skank, though, you're right about that" 

L laughed tearfully, his heart feeling lighter. As long as he had Light as a friend he could cope with unrequited crush. 

At least, he  _ hoped _ he could. 

"Friends?" Light asked hopefully as they walked to class. 

L thought back to a simpler time when Light made him rings of grass and smiled. 

"Always"

******************

"Faaaaag!"

Light stopped in his tracks, his eyes narrowed into slits as he stared down the older student who'd yelled at him and L. L had been getting funny looks all day and he was sick of it. 

"The fuck did you say?" Light snarled, temper rising sharply. 

"Leave it, Light" L shook his head, already aware of who he had to thank for the abuse he was getting. "It's not worth it"

"But-"

"If he wants to be a complete  _ twat _ that's his problem" L brushed off the older boy and walked straight passed, "Honestly, it's pathetic"

The older student glared at L but wisely walked the other way when Light glared right back. He'd taken a bullet for L and he'd be happy to knock out a fifth year too! 

Light sighed as they headed towards the Den. It was more of a hangout now, really, but it was still their spot. "Yeah but… I mean… are you gay, L? You haven't told me. We suspected you were for a while to be honest but you never actually said, so…"

L shrugged. "Yes, I am. I'm figuring it out. I, uh, did a lot of thinking and stuff over the weekend"

Light smiled, relieved L was being so upfront about it. "That's cool, L. I told Mello to pipe the fuck down. He didn't mean it when he said we were normal. He's… well, you know his background. He struggles with stuff like that"

L shrugged. Yes, Mello's words had hurt him, more than some random yelling 'faggot' did, but he knew Mello's complete lack of tact often got the better of him. He knew deep down Mello had his back. 

They arrived at the Den and L smiled as Mello held out a cupcake platter. "Peace offering? I'm sorry I was a dick, Bro, I didn't mean it"

"I know you didn't" L accepted the platter but surprised everyone by not digging in. Instead, L put it to one side, "I've been doing a  _ lot _ of thinking this weekend and I guess I've realised I've been a bit of a hypocrite too. I, uh…" L flushed. Okay, so maybe he couldn't be as upfront with them as he thought. "I've figured things out and I know I'm gay. Cos I've… looked at… gay stuff. I'm sorry I mouthed off at you guys. I guess I was just confused and hurt. I felt left out but now I see you weren't doing that to hurt me"

"Oooooooohhhhh L's been looking at gay stuff!" Mello crowed, ignoring L's apology, and pulled L in for a hug. "That's ma boy!" he ruffled L's hair and Matt mimed having a wank, much to L's mortification. 

Light smiled tightly, feeling a bit strange at hearing L admit he jerked off. He didn't know why but he just wanted to protect L, protect that innocence he had. 

"We will need to clamp down on this 'fag' thing though" Light smiled sadly, "It's homophobic, L, and it isn't right people are calling you it. Takada asked me out in History class but I told her to fuck off. She's the one who's been slandering you to half the school"

L nodded, "I know. And I will have a word with Dad about it. I just wanted to clear the air with you first"

And the air was cleared pretty quickly after their talk. The boys settled down to munch on the cupcakes and dream up a new plot to make Roger's life hell as though the 'blip' had never happened. Light, however, sat close to L and at one point even held his hand. The blinding smile L gave him in response spoke volumes. 

Matt watched L flush and swiftly glanced away, his gut telling him there was more to L and Light's relationship than met the eye… 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: It's the start of fourth year, Light has a girlfriend but is NOT jealous when L gets a boyfriend. Not jealous at all!


	9. Light is NOT jealous...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone who's anyone is dating in Wammy's. Except L, that is. But that's about to change and Light is going to have to just deal with it...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 14! And dating?! What what Whaaaaaaat! 😱

Time flew passed and L and his gang were soon starting another term as Fourth Years. And with the change of year came new challenges. They were coming in 14 now, and experiencing the dubious honors of puberty, awkward erections, pimples and  _ sex education _ . 

Despite these challenges, the group remained as close as ever. In fact, L was just settling down and coming to grips with things (aka his crush on Light) when  _ it _ happened. Light Yagami and Misa Amane kissed behind the bikesheds and soon it was all over school they were an item. 

Light made sure to tell L all about his happy news and it killed L to smile and pretend to be happy for them. Light was constantly holding her hand, kissing her in the hallways and it made L sick to his stomach with jealousy.  _ Everyone _ in their class was dating someone now. Well, nearly everyone. The people who weren't dating were losers. Matt was dating a ginger girl from Art class, Mello was with some fifth year weed smoking rebel named Anne and now Light had joined the ranks of the cool kids with dates. 

_ 'Guess that makes me a loser then. Ha, nothing new there' _ L thought sourly. He and Light were sitting under an oak tree having lunch. It was a gorgeous late summer day but L felt rather low. He knew he'd have to face this, Light dating someone else, but he'd vastly underestimated how much it would hurt. It had been two months since the start of term and the start of them dating and they were  _ still _ all over each other. Light was even talking about inviting Misa back to his for dinner soon. 

"She's just so cute, L" Light sighed dreamily, "But I did more than  _ kiss _ her behind the bikesheds. Damn, she's a real goer if you know what I mean" he waggled his eyebrows and L tried not to cringe. 

_ 'Oh god. Why did you tell me that?!' _ He thought in horror. He, like most 14 year olds, had a very active imagination and he did not want those mental images scaring his brain, thank you very much! 

"Hey! We didnt go  _ that _ far!" Light laughed, mistaking L's grimace for distaste, "I just fingered her a bit while she jerked me off"

L smiled thinly. "Sounds gross but you do you"  _ 'And stop telling me this. I know it's important we share stuff but I really don't want to know what you get up to!' _

Light chuckled at his friends sass and ruffeled L's hair, "What about you? Any guys you have your eye on? I know Ryan has the hots for you"

L rolled his eyes. Ryan was a third year and had buck teeth. He didn't think he was overly superficial or picky when it came to looks but he couldn't look past  _ those _ gnashers! Besides, it was virtually impossible to find anyone as good looking as Light. He simply set the bar too high. Obviously being gay narrowed down his options as far as dating went. There were a few openly gay students at Wammy's but not that many, and none L actually liked (none that were gay and called Light Yagami, anyway) 

Watari had been swift to act when L told him about the names he was being called after he'd come out. He knew some people (Takada) still had a chip on their shoulder but calling him names wasn't worth the detention Watari imposed on  _ anyone _ caught using homophobic language in or  _ out _ of school. Despite this, being gay still had a certain stimga attached, and so L had reconciled to the fact he'd probably not date anyone. 

"No thanks" L muttered sullenly, "I've told you, I don't like anyone here"

_ 'Except you' _ L thought, feeling a lonely, whistful pang as Light smiled that lovely, bright smile at him.  _ 'If only, huh?' _

Beyond and his friends passed and Beyond gave L a small smile. L smiled back and Light glared as Beyond headed towards them. Just because they both did Art he didn't see why L and Beyond were suddenly friends. Why couldn't L hate him like when they were young? Okay, so Light knew that was a childish thing to think but he couldn't help it. His gut told him Beyond was bad news and he always listened to his instincts. He wanted to protect L from harm, but how could he when L and Beyond seemed to be growing closer by the day? 

"Hey, L, heading to Art after this?" Beyond asked, giving Light a cool smirk. Yagami could fuck off, he was determined to get L and no amount of glaring would disuade him. L was cute, sweet and shy, and hadn't picked up on his hints yet but Beyond knew he was getting close. He was a smart boy and he could see L was crushing hopelessly on Light and he planned on rectifying that. 

"Yup, save me a seat, B" L smiled sweetly, pretending to be completely oblivious to the death glares shooting between Light and Beyond. It was rather amusing and Light was so sweet when he was being protective.  _ 'I don't get why he hates B so much though. Heh, maybe he's just jealous we're friends? Sucks, dont it, Light?' _

"Will do. Looking forward to it" Beyond shot L a wink and L blinked in surprise as Beyond sauntered off. 

"Well, you never know, we might get a hot gay transfer student soon" Light continued their interrupted conversation, "Just as long as it's not Beyond, huh?" Light snarled acidly, not appreciating that wink one bit. 

L looked up from his lunch, a thoughtful look on his face. Beyond had never winked at him before and it threw him off a little. "What?" L asked belatedly, his mind hard at work. Now that Light mentioned it, Beyond had been acting strange for a while. He'd apologised to L for bullying him  _ years _ ago and had even been blushing around him. He'd bought him lunch a few times too. They'd worked together on a project a few months ago and now L considered Beyond a friend. But… what if Beyond wanted to be more than that?  _ 'Fuck! Mello was teasing me about this last fucking  _ **_year_ ** _. How could I forget that, Mello said Beyond wanted to snog me so… Beyond  _ **_likes_ ** _ me? Shit. That guy flirts with  _ **_everyone_ ** _ I thought he was just being a dork and flirting with me to rile Light up!' _

Light's eyes narrowed at the look on L's face. "Please tell me you're not considering dating  _ him _ "

L shrugged. "Why not? We aren't kids anymore, Light. I won't need to pull a Fluffy 2 on him and besides… my options are rather limited. Beyond is good looking, he's smart and I'm assuming by your glower that he likes me?"

Light grumbled and admitted that while it wasn't common knowledge that , yes, those in the know at Wammy's House knew Beyond Birthday liked L Lawliet. He didn't tell L he'd warned the guy off several times, though. He'd been hoping L would remain oblivious to Beyond's advances. He'd told Beyond to fuck off just that morning after he'd carried L's books to class but it seemed L had  _ finally _ realised Beyond was into him and his efforts had been wasted. It wasn't that he didn't want L to date anyone, it was just he didn't want L to date  _ him. _

L tapped his chin in thought as Light stabbed at his lunch.  _ 'Beyond  _ **_is_ ** _ a nice guy, plus it might do me some good to date someone, help me get over this hopeless crush I have on Light' _

"L, please don't date him" Light said in a soft voice, amber eyes pleading. 

L arched an eyebrow at Light, tempted to give in and promise him he wouldn't. But why should he? "Why not?" he asked, biting back his temper. Light couldn't just say that without a valid reason. The guy didn't know how hard it was, liking someone who didn't like you back. 

"He's a jerk. He's… he's just a jerk and I don't think you should date him" Light muttered, wishing Matt and Mello were here to back him up because that sounded weak, even to his ears.

"That's not a very good reason, Light. How would you feel if I told you not to date Misa?" L asked, even though he'd debated the merits of screaming those exact words to Light over and over again until Light realised it was L he wanted, not pretty, sluttish Misa.  __

"That's different!" Light sulked, annoyed he didn't have a better answer. L scoffed and stood up. 

"No, it's really not. I love you, Light, you are my best friend but I'd appreciate it if you didn't try to dictate whom I can and cannot date. I'm catching up with Beyond now and if he asks me out I'm saying yes. See you after class"

Light watched L walk off and snapped his fingers in irritation. 

"Damn it!"

**********************

While L and Beyond were cozying up in Art, Light sent an urgent group message to both Matt and Mello as he sat in the canteen. It was still quiet since it was just after lunch and Light soaked up the silence as he sipped at his tea. He drummed his fingers impatiently as he waited for a response. Matt and Mello were in maths. They were  _ always _ on their phones so why weren't they texting back? He'd text L too but he wasn't surprised to find himself ignored. L was fanatical about his Art, he  _ never _ texted in that class. Finally his phone pinged and Light got straight down to business and set up a group chat without L in it. 

**Light: Guys, I think L and Beyond are gonna start dating. What can we do to stop it?**

**Mello: Uh… nothing? Beyond's an okay dude, Light, and L should be dating someone!**

**Matt: I agree! Good for L. I knew this was gonna happen, Beyond's had a Hardon for him for aaaaaagggeeees!**

Light glared at his phone. So much for thinking they'd back him up! 

**Light: He isn't though! Yee, He's been after L for a whole year now, carrying his stuff and staring at him like a sad creep! He is a creep and L can do so much better!**

**Matt: You jealous or…? 🤔**

**Mello: Sound jealous af there dude…**

**Light: Oh fuck off! I'm *not* jealous! I'm dating the hottest girl in school fgs! L is my best mate and I'm just trying to look out for him! Why would I even BE jealous?**

**Mello: Ok, well just let him get on with it if you're not jelly. If Beyond does hurt him then it's open season on him ONCE they split up, gotta give them a chance first, Man! 😂**

**Matt: Agreed! It's awesome L is starting dating. Bless his cotton socks. Baby of the group is becoming a Man! 👿**

**Mello: Haha, Yip, our Lil L is growing up! I'll give him the bees and the bees talk! 😏 🐝 🐝 Mwahahahaha!!**

**Matt: Dude. He takes Sex Ed with us and I really don't think he'd appreciate YOU of all people saying stuff like that! You'd scare him to death!**

**Light: Hang on, They are NOT sleeping together anytime soon or bloody EVER if I have anything to do with it! They shouldn't even be dating. Jesus what's wrong with you??**

**Mello: Ooooooohhhh Light Be 100% organic Jelly! 🙊**

**Light: Fuck off, Mels, that ain't helping! 😠**

**Mello: 🤐**

**Matt (Via private message) Dude, real talk. Are you jealous? You and L are very close and it just seems like you are? It's okay if you are, You can talk to us you know.**

Light scowled at his phone and shoved it back in his pocket.  _ 'Fuck you guys. I'm not jealous. I don't even like guys! And I don't like L that way either. Why can't they see I'm just looking out for L? I thought they'd understand' _

He mustered up a smile when Misa bounced over to him. "Hey Babe! You okay?" Misa trilled, noting that Light looked a little pissed off. 

"Hey… " Light sighed "I'm okay. Just fucked off with the guys"

"Oh? What's up?" Misa dropped herself onto Light's lap and gave him a sultry smile, her girlfriends cooed at the cute display and headed off to class. "Anything MisaMisa can do to cheer you up?"

Light shrugged. "Not really. I'm just hanging around waiting for L to finish Art. What are you up to now?"

"Chemistry" Misa grimaced, "But I don't mind skipping to cheer my Light up. Wanna sneak behind the bikesheds and make out?"

Light nodded. That  _ would _ cheer him up and prove to those two assholes he wasn't jealous in the slightest.

**********************

It was wierd. As L walked to the Den he was trying to wrap his head around the fact that he, L Lawliet, had a boyfriend. Beyond had asked him out on a date and he'd said yes.

_ 'Wow. I can see why people want to date. It feels pretty good. Light's gonna be pissed though' _

L let himself into the den and rolled his eyes as he overheard Light telling his rapt audience what he and Misa had gotten up to behind the bikesheds. Well, two could play that game! Light was pissing him off with his attitude so he'd return the fvour. 

"Hey guys" L chirped, giving them a sunny smile. 

"L! Don't you look happy" Matt teased, green eyes twinkling with amusement, "Got something to do with a certain chap named Beyond?"

"Yup. We're going to the movies tomorrow night!" L blushed winningly, "I'm so excited but I have no idea what to wear! And do I kiss him at the end of the night-"

"L" Light growled, " I told you-"

L cut him off with a cold look. "And I told  _ you _ you don't get to dictate whom I date, Light, so  _ back off _ "

"Oh boy" Matt mumbled under his breath. Before L's arrival Light had been ranting about Beyond and they'd had a job of it to get him to talk about anything else!  _ 'I don't care what Light says he's definitely jealous. Maybe he has feelings for L too he just hasn't figured it out yet? Whatever the case, I am  _ **_not_ ** _ getting involved in this shit' _

"I think that's awesome, Man, we'll come over and raid your wardrobe before you go. Make you look hot!" Mello grinned, oblivious as usual to Light's mood. 

"I won't!" Light huffed. 

"Fine! Don't then!" L snapped, "You're being such a  _ child _ about this, Light. Matt, Mello, I'd love for you to come round mine tomorrow and help me get ready. If you decide to pull your head out your ass you can come as well, Light" L climbed to his feet, his mood well and truly soured. He sighed and looked at Light, offering him a faint smile.  _ 'Don't you realise I'd chose you in a heartbeat, Light?'  _ "I've got a painting I need to work on. I'll text you later on. See you guys later, M's"

Light opened his mouth to reply but L had already left.

_ 'Well shit' _ Light shook his head and wondered just how he was going to sort this mess out. L hadnt stormed off and he'd even given him that strange little smile. Light was confused but deep down he knew L was right. He was acting like a child and he had to get over the fact L was dating for the sake of their friendship. Somehow, he'd have to learn how to tolerate Beyond. He noticed an odd look on Matt's face and narrowed his eyes in annoyance, "What?" he muttered, feeling rather sorry for himself. 

"Nothing. Nothing at all. This is  _ none _ of my business" Matt shook his head and turned to Mello to discuss  _ anything _ else. 

Light would just have to stew in it. 

And stew in it Light did... 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess what the next chapter is titled? 'And neither is L!'
> 
> Cos these boys 100% are cool with each other dating other people. Obviously 😂


	10. ...But L is!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A date that never was, a first kiss and a few home truths. It's been a dramatic day for L, Light and the gang!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry to all those excited for L and B's date, it will be happening next chapter I promise. I just really wanted Misa dumped and it wouldn't fit L's character to just abandon Light after it. Enjoy the first kiss instead! 💖

"A date?" Watari's eyebrows shot up in surprise as L announced his plans for tomorrow evening over dinner. 

"Yes, Dad, don't act so shocked. Miracles can happen" L mumbled dryly, the tips of his ears turning red. "I'll be back by 9.30 at the latest, curfew as usual, okay?" L added, digging into his food with a voracious apatetie possessed by all growing boys. 

Watari nodded, impressed with L's grown-up attitude. It was  _ he  _ who suddenly felt very unsure of himself. His little boy was going on his first date! Where had the time gone and just what did kids  _ do _ on dates these days?"I see. Well, I hope you enjoy the date. May I ask who it's with and what you plan on doing? I… *ahem* d-do you need protection or-"

"Dad!" L squealed, face glowing neon red as his fork clattered to his plate in shock. "I'm 14! I've never even  _ kissed _ anyone let alone thought about  _ that _ ! No, I do  _ not _ need bloody protection. Jesus fucking  _ Christ _ " L whispered the last part, feeling an odd mixture of amused, horrified and exasperated. 

Watari scratched his head. He felt embarrassed but so  _ relieved _ L wasn't crossing into that murky territory quite yet. So relieved was he, he let L's cuss go 'unnoticed'. 

"It's with Beyond. I know" L snickered at Watari's arched eyebrows. "We're friends now, Dad, he isn't the jerk he used to be. Anyway, we're going to see that new slasher movie-"

"L, that's a 15 rated movie" Watari frowned in disapproval. 

L bit back a smirk.  _ 'Heh if you think that's bad, Dad, you should see the  _ **_18_ ** _ rated shit I've been watching recently…' _

"Yeah, but they never ID. Like, Light and I saw an 18 movie last week" L rolled his eyes, "Sucked though" he munched on some garlic bread and Watari shook his head in astonishment. Back in his day they  _ always _ checked.  _ 'But things have changed since then and I suppose I'd best get used to these modern times and modern ways' _

Watari knew Light was dating Misa Amane and he knew Sachiko was struggling to accept the girl and Light's relationship with her. Miss Amane had a somewhat  _ jaded _ reputation and like him, Sachiko was waiting impatiently for L and Light to realise they were meant to be together. It appeared fate was happy for them to wait, but Watari suspected L was already aware of his feelings for Light. He'd noticed L blushing when Light changed out of a wet shirt the other week. That was new, as was L's penchant for playing rock songs about being  _ lovesick _ . 

"Dad?" L frowned, poking Watari's arm to gain his attention. 

"I'm sorry. I was miles away, what did you say?"

"I said, Matt and Mello will be over tomorrow afternoon before I go out. Maybe Light as well. Depends if he gets over himself"

Watari gave L a surprised look, "What do you mean?"

"Well, he isn't happy Beyond and I are dating. In fact, he tried to  _ make _ me not go on a date with him! I don't know why, he's just being stupid" L muttered, clearly agitated that Light wasn't being supportive of his decision. 

L didn't understand why Light was against him dating Beyond. Light himself probably didn't either but Watari, with his years of exprience,  _ did _ . 

_ 'Light's begining to realise he has feelings for L. He's jealous!' _

**********************

"I'm  _ not _ jealous!" Light snapped at his nosey little sister, "God, fuck off, will you?"

Sayu pulled a face, loving winding her grumpy older brother up. "L and B sitting in a tree,  _ K-I-S-S-I-N-G- _ "

"Get. Out" Light took his sister by her shoulders and frog marched her out of his bedroom. "You're such a  _ brat _ , Sayu!" He yelled before slamming the door in her face. There was no way  _ he _ had been so obnoxious when he was 9! It was a miracle she was even still alive considering Light had to fight the temptation to strangle her with his bare hands at least  _ fifty milliom _ times a day! 

Light tried to get some homework done but he was too wound up. Why did everyone, including bloody  _ Sayu,  _ think he was jealous? He'd invited Misa around for dinner tomorrow night and he'd got the impression his mother was less than thrilled by the news. He had  _ not _ invited her just because L couldn't come around as usual, no sir, he was just being a good boyfriend, that was all. 

_ 'I don't see what the big issue is with Misa. Mum even asked if L was coming too! I know it's Friday tomorrow but she looked  _ **_gutted_ ** _ when I said L had a date' _

Light sighed and ran a hand through his hair. Even if he didn't like Beyond and didn't particularly like the idea of L dating he knew if he didn't turn up with Matt and Mello tomorrow it would hurt L, and he didn't want that. L's words came back to him and that sad, frightened look in those dark eyes of his:  _ 'I feel like we're drifting apart, Light, and that terrifies me…' _

"We won't, L" Light closed his eyes and rested his head in his hands, "Even if it means putting up with Beyond I promise we won't"

Light would swallow his pride and help L get ready for his date for the sake of their friendship, but that didn't mean he had to  _ like _ it, did it? 

********************

Meanwhile, Sachiko was  _ not _ happy. It was Friday morning and she was  _ not _ looking forward to hosting Light's girlfriend, not one bit! 

"I don't  _ want _ her here, Souichiro!" Sachiko hissed quietly as she yanked open a cupboard door to see what groceries she'd need to buy in for  _ her _ visit. "I've heard rumours about that girl and… she isn't  _ L _ is she?"

Souichiro sighed into his cup of tea.  _ 'Not this again…' _

"And another thing, it is so blatantly obvious that Light is  _ jealous _ of L going on a date, why can't he just open his eyes and find out the reason  _ why _ ? He's a smart boy.  _ Too _ smart, sometimes!"

"Dear, we've discussed this. We have to let the boys find their own way to one another. Even if they're fated to be together it does not mean they will fall head over heels for one another straight away! Perhaps they  _ need _ to date other people to grow?"

Sachiko propped her hip against the counter and gave her husband a slightly sullen (and adorable, Souichiro thought) look. She couldn't argue against that. Her husband was being practical and level headed about the whole thing.  _ She _ was the one who was struggling to deal with it and acting a little childish.  _ 'I need to ring mum for a chat' _ Sachiko decided. Whenever she felt lost or unsure, Uma Yagami was the one she turned to. 

"I'm ringing Mum"

Souichiro shook his head as his wife stomped out of the kitchen. He had a funny feeling it was going to be a  _ loooong _ day.  _ 'I'm buying in a bottle of Whiskey for tonight. I have a feeling i'll be needing it!' _

Upstairs, Light was trying to decide what to wear to school. Friday was a half day so he had plenty of time and he was feeling oddly insecure. He'd tried on three different shirts but none of them looked right. Obviously he wanted to look good for Misa, so he decided that was the reason for his nerves. He'd never had a date around for dinner before and he suspected his mother was less than thrilled by the suspicious lack of noise coming from the kitchen. It was his Dad's day off, usually there'd be music playing and them dancing around the kitchen making he and Sayu cringe. Not today! 

"Fuck sake!" Light pulled the green button down back on and nodded. It would do. He was pushing time now and he was getting a lift to school with Matt's older brother so couldn't be late. 

"Mum, Dad, see you later!" Light yelled as he walked out the door. 

Sachiko pursed her lips.  _ 'Yes dear, I cannot wait for later. Ugh. Right, stop acting like a child. I need to go grocery shopping and Souichiro can get off his butt and help me' _

***********************

L was not amused when Light told them he was having Misa over dinner. He hid it fairly well, but Matt noticed anyway. 

While the gang walked to their class (French, with Roger. What  _ fun _ !) even Mello noticed the odd atmosphere between L and Light. 

"Dude, what's with those two?" He mumbled to Matt as L and Light grabbed their stuff from their lockers. 

"Wouldn't even go there, Man, seriously just let them work stuff out" Matt advised wisely. 

"Work stuff out? Ohhhh, They're jealous of  _ each other _ , aren't they?" 

Matt raised an eyebrow in surprise. It seemed Mello was more astute than he'd given him credit for. 

"Mmmhmmm. It's like something outta Shakespeare" Matt snorted, "Seriously, just keep out of it, Mels, cos I think this is going to last a while to be honest"

"Roger that!" Mello glanced at L and Light with new eyes. Now he knew what he was looking for it was  _ so  _ obvious they were into each other. Light had said something that had made L laugh and the way his face lit up spoke volumes. 

"What are you two talking about?" Light asked, getting the feeling they were talking about him. 

"Tits!" Mello grinned and slapped Light's back, "What else  _ is  _ there to talk about? Oh and dick, obviously. See, L, including you too!" Mello winked. 

L snorted in amusement. "Thanks, Mels" he spotted Beyond further down the hall and sent him a shy smile. Beyond returned it full force and Light silently seethed.  _ 'This is going to be harder than I thought' _

"See you later, Babe!" Beyond called over his shoulder and L's face flamed crimson. He'd been called  _ Babe _ !! 

"Well, well" Matt chuckled, "Check you out, L! Babe, huh?"

"Oh, hush" L mumbled, ducking his head shyly. Light was struck by how  _ cute  _ that was and frowned. Why was he thinking  _ that _ ? 

They filed into class and groaned when Roger announced (far too smugly) there was going to be a surprise test. 

_ 'Just fucking great!' _ Light thought glumly. It was only 11 am. Could this day get any worse? 

********************

The answer to Light's question was yes, yes the day could get worse. Because L had invited Beyond to have lunch with him and now he had to make small talk with a guy he detsted. He decided to invite Misa in retaliation, since he knew L wasn't particularly fond of her  _ or _ her best friend Kiyomi.  _ 'But then I'm not fond of her either' _ Light thought as he swiftly added 'Don't invite Takada, Misa, I can't stand her' onto his text. 

Beyond and Mello were bounding over slagging off the music teacher, so L plopped down next to Light. 

"You okay?"

"Fine" Light muttered, his lip curling as Mello burst into laughter and knocked Beyond's shoulder.  _ 'Great. Even the M's think he's awesome' _

L raised an eyebrow. "And the honest answer is?"

Light flushed guiltily. "Look, I'm  _ trying _ , L, okay? I just don't like the guy"

L sighed and offered Light a small smile. "Thank you, Light. I know it's not easy. Hell, I have to hold back whenever Misa opens her mouth"

"L" Light growled, "That's my  _ girlfriend _ you're talking about"

"Yeah, but she is rather fucking  _ dumb _ " Beyond chipped in with a devilish smile, "Not much good for conversation, is she? Good for  _ other things  _ though, so I've heard"

"You-" 

"Guys!" Matt, acting as peacekeeper, immediately shut it down before a fight broke out. "Just chill already"

Misa headed over and L looked away, irritated  _ she _ had to come barge in on their lunch. At least she hadn't brought that tramp Takada with her. Beyond smirked at L's annoyance and pressed their shoulders together. 

"Looking forward to tonight?"

L nodded, "Yeah! Um, kinda nervous though…"

"Why?" Beyond chuckled and wrapped his arm around L's shoulders, "It's just a movie and junk food, Babe. Ooh, and they sell those jam donuts in Odeon!"

"Oh yeah!" L perked up at the mention of food, "I  _ love _ those!"

Light scrunched his empty soda can in his fist a little too aggressively. Misa, sensing Light's annoyance, clambered into his lap for a kiss. 

L narrowed his eyes at the display.  _ 'She is such a thot!' _ he thought in distaste as she cooed in Light's ear.  _ 'He has such poor taste in girls it's laughable. I can't see Sachiko thinking much of her!' _

"L?" It was Misa, and she sounded pissed off. 

L resisted the urge to roll his eyes and turned his attention back to Misa. "I'm sorry, what did you say?"

"I said can you stop glaring at us!" Misa snapped, "We're  _ trying _ to make out!"

"Yeah, and we're  _ trying _ to eat" L sassed straight back. Mello snickered and Beyond grinned as Misa looked to Light to defend her.

Light looked a little helpless and scratched his neck. L  _ did _ have a valid point… 

Matt buried his face in his hands. They were studying 'A comedy of errors' in English Lit class and that pretty much described the situation between L and Light too… 

*********************

Light was in the dog house for not defending Misa against L and L took it with surprising grace.  _ Not.  _ He smirked at Misa and even stuck his tongue out at her, forcing her to flounce off and Light to chase after her. 

"L" Matt sighed, "Why?"

"You know why" L grumbled, shooting a look at Beyond and Mello to make sure they wouldn't overhear. 

"True. But you being jealous and acting like a brat isn't going to achieve anything"

L blinked at Matt. "Alright, Stoner logic, what should I do?"

"Tell Light how you really feel?" Matt  _ really _ didn't want to get involved in this and he'd been trying his best not to but it was getting ridiculous now. Someone had to do something! 

L burst into scornful laughter. "Are you nuts? Tell him? That would be the end of our friendship, Matt! I can't tell him I like him  _ that _ way!"

"Well how is he supposed to know?" Matt challenged, wondering if he should specalise in psychology. He was starting to feel like a shrink. 

"Uh, he  _ isn't _ . That's the whole point" L poked Matt in his side, "And don't you dare tell him, Matt, I mean it. We've been friends since we were six. This would freak him out"

_ 'At first, maybe, but I'm pretty certain Light is in the closet. He's looking  _ **_bored_ ** _ with Misa already and he can't stop staring at  _ **_you_ ** _ , L. Honestly, I could bash your heads together!' _

"I'm going to class. See you later" L walked away, not wanting to talk about it anymore. Yes, he was jealous. He could admit it. He didn't  _ want _ to see that skank Misa all over Light.  _ He _ wanted to be all over him. He felt guilty at that thought and reminded himself in just over four hours time he would be going on a date with Beyond. Best to concentrate on that… 

**********************

Light was irritated. He'd had to deal with Takada bitching he'd upset her best friend, his mother hopefully asking if Misa wasn't coming for dinner after all since they were running late and Matt and Mello reminding him they were due at L's in an hour. To help him get ready for that damned date. It had really not been a good day. 

"Misa, Babe" Light sighed tiredly, "I'm sorry, alright, I was just in an awkward position. L is my best mate. I'll have a word with him to be nicer to you, I promise"

Finally the gods answered him a Misa stopped her sulk. She was sudenly all sunny smiles and kisses as she clasped Light's hand in hers. "Thank you, Light! Shall we head to yours? I'm so excited to meet your parents and that cute little sister of yours"

Light grimaced. Sayu was anything  _ but _ . "Yeah, but… uh, do you mind if we swing by L's real quick on the way?"

The pout returned to that pretty face and Light felt a stress headache looming. He really did not need this shit today! 

"Please, Babe, a half hour, tops" Light smiled charmingly, "I'll have a quiet word with him when we're there"

"Oh! In that case, let's go. I've heard L lives in a huge mansion with Mr Watari, even has a swimming pool and his own Art studio, is that right?" Misa talked on as she clutched Light's hand in hers. Light sucked in a breath, startled as a worrying thought flashed across his mind  _ 'I don't want you, Misa. You bore me… No. What am I thinking. I'm with her because she's hot. She's intresring in her own way.. Sort off… ' _

_ 'She's as riveting and as intelligent as a sponge' _ Light's inner L piped up,  _ 'How she even managed to get in to Wammy's is more of a mystery than how the pyramids were built!' _

"Light?" Misa tuggfef on his sleeve. 

"Yeah" Light gave her a wide, sunny smile but it was purely fabricated. He'd been dating Misa nearly six months now and the shine was wearing off rapidly. Apart from making out and other stuff, there wasn't really much he'd miss if they ended. 

They arrived at L's and Misa squealed at the sight of the old mansion. L and Watari used to live on the Wammy's House grounds but Watari decided it was better for L's development if he had a home to go to to seperate home life and school. It had certainly worked, L was flourishing in his new studio and even Light had a job to drag him out of it at times. 

Light rang the door bell and smiled as Watari answered. Watari seemed pleased to see him at least. 

"Light!" Watari's smile cooled slightly as he noted Light's companion, "And Miss Amane. Are you here to help L get ready for his date? He's got his entire wardrobe on the floor, says he needs  _ you _ to be able to find something"

Light felt a little flutter in his chest. L needed him! 

"Yes" Light smiled, "Don't worry, he was like this when we had no uniform day. I'll find him something"

Watari chuckled, remembering L's whines that he had  _ nothing _ to wear despite the fact the boy's room was  _ littered _ in clothes. Light had come over and within fifteen minutes L had been dressed in gray skinny jeans and a smart/casual black shirt, new clothes which he had overlooked. 

"Please do" Watari stepped aside and held the door open, "He's rather anxious and I think he didn't believe you'd be coming over"

Light flushed guiltily. "He's my best mate, Watari-San, I'll always be there for him" he lead Misa up the stairs towards L's rooms. "Whatever you do,  _ don't  _ go in his Studio without permission" Light wanred. 

Misa simply giggled and Light bit back the urge to roll his eyes.  _ 'Well, on your head be it then!' _

They walked into utter chaos, completed by L sat amongst his strewn clothes. "Light!" L turned to Light like he was his saviour, "Help me!"

Light chuckled and made a beeline for the small mountain of tops. He knew L had a really nice dark blue designer jumper that would look great with his distressed jeans. In no time at all he'd located the jeans and a pair of converse and held the outfit up for L to judge. 

"Amazing!" L breathed, once again in awe of Light's incredible ability to just find the perfect outfit, "How do you  _ do _ that?!"

Misa pursed her lips, not liking the way L's face lit up.  _ 'There's been rumors going around school for ages that there is more to them than just friendship. Well L can back off from my Light! I'll invite him to the Love Den. He won't be able to resist and then he'll be mine!' _

Matt and Mello breathed an aduible sigh of relief. The nightmare was over. "Cheers, Man" Matt patted Light's shoulder, "Was starting to lose the will to live there!"

Light simply smirked as L rushed off to get changed. He found his smile fading as he realised L was meeting Beyond in just 30 minutes. He couldn't help but hope Beyond would have canceled at the last minute or the Cinema had just happened to catch fire or something… 

"Can we go now?" Misa asked impatiently. 

"Sure, when L heads off. Might as well all go together" Light barely looked at her. Instead, he found his eyes fixed on L. L looked really…  _ good _ . 

Mello whistled and nodded approvingly. "Yup, that's a good look on you, L!"

L blushed, his eyes fixed on Light. "Do I look okay?" he asked quietly, Light's reassurance the only one he needed. 

"Uh, yeah, you look g-great" Light cleared his throat. Was it him or was it a bit stuffy in L's room? And why were Matt and Mello looking at him like that? And why was Misa looking pissed off?! "Anyway, I guess we'd best be heading off. If he does  _ anything _ or tries anything you're not happy with text one of us and we will-"

L smiled, deeply touched at Light's protectiveness. "It will be fine. I… hope you and Misa have a nice time at your house for dinner" the words felt like they were stuck in his throat but he forced them out. He would  _ not _ let this jealousy pollute him. Light was with Misa and he really liked the dolt. He'd just have to accept it. 

"Oh, we will" Misa shot L a triumphant look, "Because later on we will be going for a walk down the park and showing each other how much we love each other, won't we, Light?"

Light blinked.  _ 'What?' _

Mello's eyes widened in understanding. Misa was talking about the 'Love Den' some of the older students had set up in the park. All kinds of dark deeds went on there and he had a funny feeling Misa was hinting for Light to go 'all the way' with her there. 

L spluttered, the colour draining from his face. There was no way Light would shag Misa in that seedy little spot, would he?! 

Light firmly shook his head, making L's shoulders slump with relief. "Misa, I am not doing that in a park on the grass. I have more class than that" Light was looking at her with new eyes, "Besides, wouldn't you want your first time to be a bit more special than that?"

"Not her first time though…" Mello piped up in a sing song voice, drawing all eyes to him. 

"What?! O-of  _ course  _ it is!" Misa stammered, shooting a nervous look at Light. She couldn't have looked more guilty if she'd tried. 

Light narrowed his eyes at Misa. He knew she was a bit forward but she'd sworn she'd never slept with someone before and had even said she'd wait until  _ he _ was ready! "What do you mean, Mels?" Light asked in a dangerously quiet tone. 

"Misa fucked Oliver there last year. Oliver told me. Dude wouldn't lie about that, plus like, half of my English class know all about it" Mello offered Misa a shrug, "Shouldn't lie, Doll, just be honest"

Misa went red. "I… I,  _ fine _ , so I have done it before, but so what? It would be my first time with Light and that  _ is _ special"

L buried his face in his hands.  _ 'Oh Light, why are you even with her?!' _ he glanced at his phone. He was running late but he couldn't very well abandon Light now could he? As Misa and Light argued, L debated on what he should do. He didn't want to cancel the date but he felt he should be there for Light as well.

"I'm done" Light plucked Misa's hand from his arm, "I don't deal with liars, Misa. And I sure as hell don't want to sleep with you either. You're dumped"

_ 'Yeeeeessss!!' _ L inwardly cheered, biting his lip to stop a  _ beaming _ smile from spreading across his face at this most joyous news. 

" _ Whhhaaaaat?!" _ Misa  _ shrieked _ . 

Watari lowered his newspaper and frowned up at the ceiling. What on earth was going on  _ now _ ?  _ 'Teenagers!' _ He thought, going back to the car trade pages and letting them get on with it. 

"I mean it" Light said firmly as Misa begged and pleaded, "You're dumped"

"You're just dumping me because you want to be with L!"

L dropped his phone. Light went pale. Matt and Mello shared  _ another  _ look. You could hear a pin drop as the silence dragged on. Eventually, Light snapped out of his stupor. 

"Fuck  _ you _ , Misa, I'm dumping you because you're a hoe, this has nothing to do with L!" He yelled, loosing his cool because what she said confused the fuck out of him. He didn't like L that way, right? They were best friends! 

L plucked up his phone from the floor and shot Beyond a swift message:

**_I'm so sorry! Could we rearrange date? Light has just dumped Misa and it's getting ugly. Come over mine and hang out instead? Sorrrry!_ ** **😨**

Misa stormed out of the room and the boys looked at each other in shock. She was practically steaming from the ears! No one mentioned how she'd hit the nail on the head, however. Light was  _ still _ trying to deny he was attracted to his best friend and Matt and Mello refused to tell him. That was something they'd just have to figure out for themselves. 

**Beyond: Shit. I'm not surprised, they aren't exactly well matched. It's fine, Babe, I understand it's put you in an awkward spot. I'd love to hang out at yours! See you in Twenty** ❤

L turned to Light with a small grimace. He had a funny feeling Light wouldn't like the change of plan but what else could he do?

"You've invited him over" Light muttered, running a hand through his hair. They heard the door slam and L  _ jumped _ . "Hey, hey, it's alright" Light grabbed L as he started to shake. 

L clung to Light, gulping for air as he reminded himself that he was fine and that he was safe. The noise had sent adrenaline shooting through him and his heart was racing.  _ 'Fuck. Fuck, calm down' _ he told himself as he buried his head into the curve between Light's neck and shoulder. It looked oddly intimate and Matt averted his eyes. L and Light just looked  _ right _ together. Even Mello said nothing as Light calmed L down. 

Once L was calm, Light text his mother apologizing for not being home for tea and briefly explained he'd dumped Misa. Her response wasn't at all surprising. 

**Mum: Oh, that is such a shame… I'm here if you want to talk, Honey! Have you heard from L? Is he going on his date? He could come around ours instead? xx**

_ 'Heh, no such luck, Mum' _ Light thought sourly as he text back explaining L had cancelled the date but Beyond would be hanging around with them instead. 

It didn't take Beyond long to arrive (more's the pity, Light thought) and he was stuck tidying L's room and making painfully polite small talk as L went downstairs to explain to Watari what was going on. When L returned he announced they were all having pizza. 

"Sweet" Mello nodded his approval, "So what shall we do? Watch a movie?

They settled down to watch a movie and L blushed when Beyond reached for his hand and whispered how cute he looked. 

Light resolutly stared at the screen, irritation rolling off him in waves.  _ 'Fuck this. I'll show Misa!' _ Light announced he was going to ask Laura, a very pretty fifth year student out on monday, and L felt his heart sink. 

_ 'No… god, she'll say yes because she likes you. Everyone likes you!' _ L felt frustrated tears prickle his eyes and felt like shit when Beyond wrapped his arms around him and asked what was wrong.  _ 'You're being so sweet and all I can think of is Light' _

"I'm sorry" L mumbled, "I had a blip earlier when Misa slammed the front door. I guess I'm still a bit on edge" L squeezed Beyond's hand and forced a shaky smile, "Thank you for being so kind, Beyond"

Beyond melted and, sensing like the moment was right, leaned in and pressed a chaste peck to L's lips. 

L's eyes widened and he pulled away with a shy smile. It was hardly making out but it was his first kiss! He blushed and leaned in to kiss Beyond, doing his best to ignore Light's huff and Mello's wolf whistle. This time there was a bit of tongue action and L felt a dart of something  _ hot _ shoot through him.  _ 'Oh my god. This is making out. It's amazing!' _

He felt Beyond smile ahainst his mouth and knew that making out was definitly going to become a new favourite pasttime of his. 

They didn't make a meal of it since they were in company, but when the kiss ended L felt triumphant. He'd kissed Beyond! Surely that meant he could get a handle on his jealousy? 

_ 'I have to try. It isn't fair on Beyond  _ **_or_ ** _ me to keep pining for Light. He'll be dating Laura by Monday lunchtime, I'd put money on it!' _

The pizza arrived and although the group actually had a surprising amount of fun hanging out together (as in, Beyond and Light didn't kill each other) both L and Light were left shaken by Misa's angry statement. 

_ 'If only' _ L thought, feeling guilt gnaw at him as he smiled at Beyond… 


	11. Changes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L and Beyond go on their date, Light starts dating Laura, Mello has an ephiany concerning his sexuality and L shocks the gang with his changing attitude...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oho things are getting interesting now 👿
> 
> This chapter is for IWasAlwaysDead, who very kindly told me to 'Update Days of Our Lives, you Twat' 😂😂😂
> 
> Love you too 💖

Laura had been  _ delighted _ to accept Light's offer and by Wednesday lunchtime they were (sickeningly, in L's opinion) all loved up with one other. Unlike Misa, Laura was actually  _ smart _ and L had to admit she seemed like the perfect match for Light. She made Light laugh, shared similar interests to him and (of course) she was pretty too. In fact, she was probably one of the prettiest girls in school with her long strawberry blonde hair, peaches and cream complexion and big, green eyes. The fact that she didn't plaster herself in half a ton of makeup wasn't lost on L either. She was naturally beautiful, just like Light.  _ 'Sachiko would approve of her' _ the thought made him sad. Light was laughing, however, a genuine, happy glow in his eyes that made L's stomach flutter at the sight of it. How he  _ wished  _ he was the cause of such warmth and laughter in Light! He slurped on his milkshake moodily until he  _ felt _ someone staring at him. 

L turned his head to where Misa was sitting at a nearby table, glaring daggers at him.  _ 'Why the hell is she blaming  _ **_me_ ** _ for this?' _ He wondered, meeting that fiery glare with an ice cold one of his own before turning his attention back to his lunch. 

"Ignore her, L" Light shook his head in disgust, "She's a psychopath"

"Strong words" Matt piped up, "She's a tad tapped maybe but a psycho?"

"Yeah, but they're warranted. Don't tell me you haven't heard what she's been spreading?"

"What? Her legs?" Mello held up his hand and Matt swifty gave his best friend a high five. The group sniggered as Misa gathered her lunch tray and flounced past them in a huff. Naturally Mello had just happened to say that rather loudly in true Mello style. 

"I've heard what she's been spreading. She's saying L 'stole' Light from her" Laura rolled those gorgeous green eyes, "Which is pretty moranic considering  _ I _ am the one dating Light and L is with Beyond. People are laughing  _ at _ her but the dumb girl can't see it."

L sighed, his shoulders slumping. That was  _ all _ he needed! "I better go find B. I doubt he'll believe it but you know what that coven of witches are like when they start spreading gossip" 

Laura gave L an understanding smile. "I'm sure he'll be fine, L, Beyond understands what that lot are like. See you later, we'll knock 'em dead in drama!"

L felt a lump in his throat as he smiled at her. To top it off she was  _ nice _ too… 

*********************

L text Beyond to meet him at the fountain and as he approached he couldn't stop the anxiety clawing away at him. He hadn't stolen Light from Misa but he'd be lying to himself if he said he'd never  _ want _ to. 

_ 'I am such a shitty person sometimes, but I need to concentrate on B right now. Nothing else.' _

"Hey, Babe" Beyond gave him a wave and L mustered up a smile in return. 

"Hey, B" L plopped down next to him. "I guess you've heard what Misa and her merry gang of bitches have been spreading around?"

Beyond snorted. "Sure have. Don't worry, no one actually  _ believes _ her. Besides, Light's with Laura and you're mine… aren't you?"

L felt his breath catch in his throat. When Beyond said that it  _ felt _ wrong. "I- I mean, yeah" L recovered awkwardly, "I'm really looking forward to tonight" he added, taking Beyond's hand in his. 

Beyond smiled and laced their fingers together. "Me too"

Beyond was charming and soon L found himself blushing and laughing as his boyfriend dramatically recited a dirty limerick he and his friends had coined for their English Literature assignment. The amazing thing was, they'd actually submitted it… 

"B!" L gasped, scandalized, "You're going to get yourself expelled!"

Beyond shrugged. "Doubtful. Not with my father's connections and my good grades"

L felt himself melt a little at that roguish smile and those twinkling violet eyes. "Make sure you don't. I'd miss you"

"How much would you miss me?" Beyond teased, leaning closer for a kiss. L didn't hesitate to lean in and connect their lips. Kissing Beyond felt like magic. Beyond wrapped his hand around the back of L's neck and L shivered as he felt Beyond's tongue touch his own. He was just getting into it when-

"STOP THIS OBSCENE DISPLAY AT ONCE!" Roger yelled, storming over to them with a face like thunder. "Wammy's students should know better!"

Beyond pulled away from L reluctantly and gave Roger a withering glare. "Oh, fuck  _ off _ , Dodger" 

"Why you-"

Beyond simply raised an eyebrow. Had Roger forgotten who'd gotten him out of a rather sticky tax situation so soon? 

Roger pursed his lips. Beyond's father was a top Lawyer whom he just happened to owe. He couldn't really rock the boat too much and the little bastard knew it! 

"I do hope it isn't because we're boys, Roger, because that would be homophobic…" Beyond let the threat dangle and Roger sniffed and walked away, knowing when he was beaten. 

"B" L giggled, capturing Beyond's lips in another kiss, "You are  _ brilliant _ "

Beyond simply smiled and traced the sharp line of L's jaw. Deep down, he knew L still had feelings for Light but he was gaining ground, he could feel it. 

********************

Light was trying his best to enjoy dinner with his family but he couldn't help but feel a bit down. L was off on his date with Beyond. It wasn't really  _ that _ that was getting to him, no, it was the fact L hadn't asked for his help in choosing what to wear… 

"Are you alright, Dear?" Sachiko frowned at Light. She wasn't thrilled he was dating some other girl but by all reports she was a marked improvement on Misa. Now all Light needed to do was realise he wanted L and it would be perfect. 

_ 'They are too young for forever right now, Sachiko! They must grow and learn about themselves through others before they are ready to walk their path together. You must accept this, Silly child!' _

Sachiko rubbed the back of her neck as she remembered her mother's scolding.  _ 'Right, I need to back off' _ she reminded herself as she dished up the mashed potatoes. 

"Fine" Light smiled tightly, "Just thinking about tests coming up. Laura's top of her class in basically  _ everything _ and so am I, but she's not stressed about them in the slightest! She's got her revision schedule down to an art"

Souichiro gave Sachiko a  _ look _ before nodding at his son. "She sounds like a very bright young woman. Feel free to invite her over to study or for dinner, Son"

"Ha, 'study!' Yeah, right…" Sayu snickered, earning herself a stern look from her mother. Honestly, her daughter knew  _ far _ too much for a 9 year old! Far more than she did at 9, at any rate. 

"Uh, yeah,  _ study _ " Light flicked a pea at her, smirking as it bounced perfectly off her annoying little head, "Some of us actually care about our grades, you know"

Sayu rolled her eyes at her dorky older brother and was about to flick a pea back at him when Sachiko cleared her throat and smiled at Light. 

"She does sound lovely. Invite her over when you like, Light" the words were tasteless in her mouth but Light's bright smile more than made up for it. 

_ 'I do hope you're right about this, Mother…' _

*********************

L was amazed. He was sat with Beyond, in the Cinema, and he didn't feel nervous at all. He'd even found an outfit easily (a comfy grey hoodie, grey converse and his favourite black jeans) and was having a blast. 

Beyond insisted on buying him a small mountain of candy so L repaid the favor with plenty of kisses. One jerk had muttered under his breath about 'Fags' not being allowed in the cinema, but one sharp glare from Beyond had the little coward scurrying off with his tail between his legs. 

As they dug into their candy and waited for the movie to start, L found himself pondering. "B, how did you discover you were gay?"

Beyond shook his head, "I'm not gay, Baby, I'm bisexual. I guess I knew from maybe… nine, ten years old? I remember thinking boys  _ and _ girls were pretty so I told mum. She explained it all to me then"

"And she was understanding?"

"Sure. She's a human rights activist, that shit is right up her street" Beyond laughed, "But the interesting thing is  _ you _ were my first ever crush"

" _ Really _ ?" L squeaked in surprise. He wouldn't say he was  _ ugly _ as such but he certainly couldn't imagine himself as someone's first crush! 

"Mmmhmm. Maybe it started way back when, with the whole Fluffy shit" Beyond snickered and L had the grace to blush. 

"I'm, uh, sorry about that?" L smiled sheepishly. 

"Don't be. I was a dick to you I guess? We were kids. That stuff happens. Still fucking terrified me though. I think that's one of my earliest memories!"

L felt a warmth tingle through him and pressed closer to Beyond. "Well if we ever come up against any spiders I will save you"

Beyond simply smiled and rested his hand on L's knee. "Good. Because I should warn you this film has spiders in it and I might end up screaming like a baby. I've seen the trailer. Nearly shit myself"

L's mouth dropped open in shock. "B! Why are we watching it then?"

Beyond simply shrugged. "Because I want to spend time with you" he fluttered his eyelashes playfully at L, "You'll protect me, right?"

L grinned and pulled Beyond in for a kiss. "I will protect you from the nasty spiders, Babe"

************************

**L, Light, Mello and Matt's Whatsapp Group Chat.**

**Mello: Where is the dirty stop out? It's 10 pm!**

**Light: It is getting late…**

**L: I'm here! Sorry, I was talking to Dad. You aren't going to believe this. He's going on a date with Susan the Liberian! 😮**

**Matt: : 😯**

**Mello: Score for Mr Wammy! She's got a sweet rack for an old bird. 😏**

**Light: Good for him. Anyway, how did the date go?**

**L: Omg you guys. It went AMAZING. Beyond was so sweet and sat through a film he HATED just for me. 😍**

**Mello: Aaaawww!**

**Matt: Fair play. Did you make out in the backseats? 🙊**

**L: Yeah…**

**Light: Why the…**

**Mello: Yes, L, is there more to add? Hmmmm?** 🤔

**L: Weeelll….**

**Mello: Details!**

**Light: Rather eager to know details, Mels?**

**Mello: So what? I'm young, free and single 😇**

**Matt: Hold up, You implying you like guys too, Mel?**

**Mello: Well, I was watching porn and this one vid was 🔥 and I actually shot my load staring at the DUDE so defo a bit of exploration is in order…**

**Light: Nice 😑**

**L: 😐 Aaaanyways, after the film we walked through the park on the way home. We were making out and I guess things just happened?**

**Light: Define 'Things'**

**Matt: Yes, L, define these things.**

**Mello: Now! 😜**

**L: Urgh. Fine. I got a boner. So did he. We jerked each other off.**

**Mello: Say WHAAAT!**

**Matt: Wow, not expecting to hear that!**

**L: I know. It just happened.**

**Light: Did he force you?**

**L: No!**

**Light: Did you want it to happen?**

**L: Yes, obviously. God! 😅**

**Mello: Was his dick big?**

**L: I am not answering that.**

**(Private message from Mello to L: Well, was it?)**

**L: I'm not answering there either, Mello. 😂**

**Light: See you guys in school, going to bed now.**

**Matt:... Bye?**

**Mello: Night Light… hehe.**

**Light: Fuck off.**

**L: Good night, Light.**

**Light: Night, L.**

**Mello: So, anyway, back to what we were discussing, Beyond's dick…**

**Matt: Go watch some porn, Mels, try the gay section in Porn hub.**

**Mello: Alright, I will!**

**L: And with that, I'm out. See ya tomorrow M's.**

**Matt: Night bro.**

**Mello: Nighty night stud 👿**

**L: Oh fuck off.**

********************

The next day during morning break, Mello pulled L to one side. 

"Dude. I think I'm into guys too"

L blinked. "Uh… good?"

"Yeah but… like, do I need to announce it like you did?"

L bit back a giggle. "No, of course not. I mean, maybe just see how it goes? Are there any guys here you like?"

Mello made a show of scanning the canteen. "Nope, not really" L, perceptive as he was, noticed Mello's eyes lingering on Matt. Curious… 

"So just see what happens. It's no one's business" L shrugged, "Why did you and whatsername split anyway?"

"She was expelled for smoking weed" Mello rolled his eyes, "Tch, Amateur, getting  _ caught _ . Anyway, her parents shipped her off to another school and we just stopped texting"

Light headed towards them, hand in hand with the lovely Laura. "You guys ready to head to maths?" Light felt a little awkward around L. He was still in a state of shock that L had done something so bold. 

"Sure. Can I borrow someone's notes? I didn't do the homework. Oh fuck, I left my art stuff at home too…" L smiled sheepishly. He  _ had _ intended to do it when he got home last night but he'd been distracted by listening to playlists Beyond sent him.

Light frowned. L  _ never _ forgot to do his homework and he would  _ never  _ forget his art stuff either. In fact, ever since L had started dating Beyond there'd been little changes that were now piling up. His growing confidence, his boldness, his changing tastes in music just a few. 

Not for the first time did Light worry about how L was changing right before his eyes…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: It's Summer break, L and Beyond go to a gig, Light invites Laura around and Mello and Matt share a rather intimate moment whilst high...


	12. Talking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lot of serious conversations happen, Matt and Mello have a moment and L's increasingly bold behaviour worries Light...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took a while because of all the conversations and plot arcs in it. It sorta didn't turn out the way I wanted to, so the next chapter will be a continuation of this one where L and Beyond go to their gig and Light overhears something he shouldn't have...
> 
> Warnings for chapter: Underage drug use.

The summer holidays dawned, and the boys revealed in their newfound freedom. Exams were over and done with and next term they would be Fifth years. 

But before all that they had nearly two months of lie-ins, adventures and mischief to look forward to. 

Light woke up on the first sunny morning of summer break with a smile. He'd passed all his exams, flawlessly of course, and he was very much looking forward to cutting loose. He rolled over and reached for his phone. His smile widened as he saw he had messages from both L and Laura, his two favourite people. 

**Laura: Hi, Light, I've just read on Facebook there's going to be a summer fair this weekend. Want to go? x**

Light swiftly text her back saying he'd love to before he went to the next message. 

**L: Hey Light, B and I are going clothes shopping this afternoon if you want to come with? I'm updating my wardrobe, my clothes SUCK!**

Light frowned. No they didn't. Hell,  _ he'd  _ been the one who'd helped L choose half of his clothes! 

_ 'Tch. Bloody Beyond and his penchant for wearing black, black and black! It's rubbing off on L. He'll be an eyeliner wearing wierdo before I know it!'  _ Light's eyes widened at the thought. There was no way L would do that, would he? L  _ had _ been spotted wearing a dog collar and now that he thought about it, L's taste in clothes were steadily becoming  _ darker _ . Matt and Mello liked this new, ediger L but he did not. 

Light flopped back onto his back and rang L. After a few rings he had an answer, but L didn't sound amused. 

"What?" L grumbled, sounding half awake. 

"Er. Good morning to you too?"

"Oh. Sorry, I didn't check my phone" warmth bled into L's voice as he realised who he was talking to, "I thought it was someone else"

"Who?" Light asked, instantly curious. He wasn't aware L had fallen out with anyone. 

"Just someone else. It doesn't matter. So, what's up?" L replied evasively and Light felt his stomach churn. So they were keeping secrets from one another now? 

"Uh, right… Not much, just woke up to your text. I guess I could go shopping, I want to buy something nice for the weekend"

"What's happening this weekend?" L asked around a yawn.

"The Summer Fair. Laura wants to go"

"Oh.  _ That _ " L's tone made it explicitly clear what he thought of Light's plans, "Yeah, Dad and Susan are going. Wanted me to go with them but it's too loud. B and I are going to see 'Screaming Blue Murder' anyways"

Light blinked. 'Screaming Blue Murder'?! That god awful rock band where they all wore makeup and looked like  _ freaks _ ?! Since when was L into that  _ shit _ ? 

"Ah. Okay, well, I was wondering if you would be there" Light draped an arm over his eyes and shook his head in disbelief.  _ 'He's definitely changing. And not for the better if he likes that EmoScreamo band. Urgh!'  _ There was a time when L would have been excited about going to the fair for all the candy stalls that were there. He could understand about the noise. Bright lights and loud noises were still triggers that L tried to avoid whenever possible but he had hoped L would still go. He would have been there to comfort him if his PTSD was triggered… 

"No, but I'd love you  _ forever _ if you brought me some candy back? Hint hint!"

Light had to smile.  _ There _ was the L he knew and loved! "Alright then, I'll see what I can do. Anyway, yeah, i'll come shopping with you guys. Meet you in the town square around 1"

"Great. See you then!"

L hung up and Light rang Laura. There was no way he was playing gooseberry to L and Beyond! 

**********************

The group met up at the usual place and Light was surprised by the friendly way Laura and Beyond greeted one another. He hadn't been aware they were particularly close. 

"He helped her out the other day. She dropped her stuff and Misa and her Witches were laughing and kicking it around" L explained as they walked towards the shopping center. "She called him her 'knight in shining armor' and he hasn't stopped preening about it since, the big softie"

"Did she now?" Light muttered dryly. God, was there anyone Beyond  _ couldn't _ befriend?  _ 'Okay, stop that. That's petty' _ Light chastised himself and smiled at L, "Then I'm very glad Beyond was there for her" 

L smiled back, his eyes shining.  _ 'Ugh, Light looks so hot in that blue T-shirt. No. Bad L, stop that!' _ "Me too. He's the sweetest" L added loudly, smirking as Beyond  _ preened _ . 

Beyond looked back over his shoulder and gave a  _ look _ that made him weak at the knees. Light resisted the urge to roll his eyes at the heated looks passing between them. They'd been intimate with one another so things had changed. It was all kind of unsettling. 

"He is indeed" Laura linked her arm with Beyond's but gave Light a warm smile, "Almost as sweet as you"

Light gave Laura an approving smile. He knew jealousy tended to be one of his less positive traits but he was working on it. Laura excitedly pointed at a nearby shop. "They have a sale on and they stock the cutest dresses. Mind if we look there first?"

The boys agreed and they headed towards the cutesy dress shop. It was so girly it was abhorrent and L and B shared a disgusted look at all the  _ pink _ . Light played the role of dutiful boyfriend and waited patiently as Laura selected a few dresses to try on. He even pointed out a few he liked and she took those as well.  _ 'I've got plenty of my allowance left. I'll buy her one' _

Meanwhile, L and Beyond were whispering together, dark heads bent close. Light looked up from his phone at L's giggle. What were they looking at? 

"And then there is this" Beyond slipped an arm around L's waist and pulled him close, "I thought it was brilliant, want to go there next?"

"It  _ is _ . But, do you think I'd get away with wearing something like that?" L asked, all big eyes as he gazed up adoringly at Beyond. Light rolled his eyes and checked his watch. She'd only been in the dressing room for ten minutes? How was that even possible? It felt like  _ hours…  _

Finally she emerged, sporting a gorgeous white dress with a pretty sunflower pattern. "What do you think?" She asked, a fetching blush on her cheeks. 

"I think  _ wow _ and even if that's not the dress you choose I'd really like to buy it for you" Light's eyes were soft as he looked at her, "You look incredible. Honestly"

"You do!" Beyond called over, "Tres Cute!"

"Awww" Laura's blush deepened and she smiled at Beyond before pecking Light's cheek, "Thank you, Babe. I love it too. You really don't have to buy it for me though"

"I insist. Go try some others on and I'll get this"

L groaned into his hand at Light's words and plopped down onto a velvet footstool.  _ 'Looks like we are in it for the long haul' _ to make matters worse, Misa, Takada and their girl gang walked in amongst a cloud of sweet perfume and giggles.  _ 'Urgh. Great' _

Misa spotted L and sneered at him. In response, Beyond's arm tightened around L's waist.  _ 'Try it, Bitch' _ Beyond thought, narrowing his eyes at her in warning to back the fuck off. She sniffed, spotted Light at the counter and swiftly headed his way. 

"Light!" Misa breathed, her smile radiant. "What are you doing here?"

Light arched an eyebrow at her. He didn't believe in being a dick to her just because she was his ex (and a liar) but that didn't mean he wanted to talk to her either. "I'm shopping with Laura" he replied in a bored monotone, "My girlfriend. You know, the one I'm currently with despite your protestations  _ L _ stole me away from you" he accepted the bag from the cashier and went to sit back down by the dressing room. 

Misa's cheeks flushed with anger. "Well, Light, I think-"

Laura emerged, clad in a sky blue, lacy sundress and stared cooly at Misa. " _ I _ think you'd best continue your shopping, Amane" she said softly, barely concealed exasperation in her cool, polite tone. "Light, what do you think of this one?" She asked, voice warmer as she twirled. 

Light simply smiled. "Beautiful"

Misa glared at them before she turned on her heel and walked out of the shop. Her friends, sensing the tension, were quick to follow her. 

By the time Laura had finally decided on her dresses and purchased them, L was beyond bored. He grabbed Beyond's hand and all but dragged him out of the door. 

Light was dismayed that the next stop was Blue Banana. It was full of grungy Emo clothes he wouldn't be seen  _ dead in _ but L and Beyond lit up like kids at Christmas at the rows of black band T-shirts and other questionable accessories. Still, fair was fair. They'd endured the pink hell for him so he'd have to put up and shut up in their chosen shop. 

L was having a field day as he grabbed a basket and began filling it with  _ eyeliner _ and chokers. Light winced as he realised his earlier thought was actually playing out before his eyes. Still, eyeliner or not, L was his best mate. 

"Hey, Steve!" Beyond (of course) knew the guy behind the counter and gave him a warm hand clasp, "I hope you've got lots of stock cos my boyfriend's planning on updating his look. Size small, shoe size 8. He's the cutie with the black hair. What ya got?"

Steve grinned, his lip piercing shining. "Oh, I can work with that. You, 'cutie with the black hair', c'mere. We've got new stock out the back you're gonna love!"

Light buried his head in his hands while Laura squeezed his hand in sympathy. She found her gaze caught by a nose stud selection and tilted her head. Would she suit a piercing or would that be too daring, she wondered. She sat with Light and they chatted about their summer plans until (finally) L, Beyond and Steve reappeared from the back of the store. Judging by the heaving basket L had, Watari's credit card was going to take a  _ hammering _ . 

Light was just about to ask (rather hopefully) if they were ready to cash up when he realised L, Beyond and Steve were 'ooohing' over a 'My Blue Murder' merchandize stand.  _ 'Ugh. Guess not then' _ he sat back down and willed himself to be patient. 

"You've  _ got _ to wear this saturday!" Beyond plucked up a T-shirt and nodded at it approvingly. "Ooh, you could dye your hair blue to match, Baby!"

_ 'What??' _ Light's jaw dropped when instead of protesting, L nodded his head happily. 

"Yes! Midnight blue would look sweet in your dark hair" Steve grabbed a box of semi-permanent dye. "Hey! Have you thought about getting a piercing? I'm licensed to do those. I know your  _ technically _ underage buuut…" he shrugged and nodded to Beyond. Beyond simply smirked and stuck out his tongue to reveal a Jolly Roger stud. 

L's smile was all the answer he needed. He'd been thinking for  _ weeks _ how cool it would be to have a piercing… 

Sighing, Light slipped his phone out of his pocket and sent a message to Matt and Mello. 

**'Backup required. In Blue Banana and L is getting a piercing. Yes, I'm being serious. Help me'**

As usual, Mello was first to text back. 

**Mello: Whaaat? 😱 Dude, that's awesome! Go, L! Me and Matt are literally in the cafe down the road. We are on the way! 👀**

Light sighed again. Obviously Mello would find this whole situation amusing, wouldn't he? 

"Babe?" Laura gently touched his hand, "It's just a piece of metal. It doesn't change who he is you know"

Light flashed her an uncertain smile. It might be 'just a piece of metal' but L  _ was _ changing, right before his eyes. As far as Light was concerned, it was all Beyond's fault too. 

Light watched helplessly as Lara, the other assistant, led L over to the piercing section. The store was quiet so L had an audience as he decided on a lip ring. Beyond made his approval known by kissing L (rather heatedly) in front of everyone. 

Mello and Matt arrived and Mello yelled in excitement at seeing L getting his lip swabbed in preparation. Matt chuckled in fond disbelief and patted L's shoulder. 

"So cool!" Mello gasped as Steve attached a small silver ring to the piercing gun. "Damn, L, that looks like it's gonna hurt though"

L simply shrugged. Surely it couldn't hurt more than his unrequited feelings for Light and his crushing guilt for having said feelings, could it? 

Steve pulled L's lower lip out, and after an affirmative nod from L, pierced him. L's eyes watered and he gave a small flinch. But in seconds the stinging pain had faded to a mild, throbbing ache.  _ 'Making out with Beyond might be a bit awkward for a while. And Dad is going to have a  _ **_fit_ ** _ but this is so worth it!' _

"Wow" Beyond breathed, "You look so gorgeous!"

L smiled, marvelling at the slight sting his actions caused. Matt and Mello were in a state of shock as Lara handed L a mirror to admire his new piercing. 

"You are going to be in so much shit, Man" Matt snickered as L gently toyed with the ring. 

"Probably" L admitted with a shrug, "Anyway, we should ring this stuff up and go get some food. I'm starving!"

Light shook his head in disbelief. He knew for a fact Watari would be disappointed in L. Hell, so was he. Why was he acting so reckless? Beyond was leading him astray and L was willingly following.  _ 'What's going on with you, L?'  _ suddenly he wasn't in the mood for shopping. He just wanted to get away and think of the changes happening to L. He whispered to Laura about heading off early and her sunny smile told him she agreed with his idea. 

Once L had bought half the store, they settled down for lunch at the cafe Matt and Mello had just vacated. 

"Oh,  _ shit _ " L breathed as he spotted a very familiar head of white hair. Watari turned and frowned as he immediately clocked his son's new accessory. He pursed his lips in disapproval but decided against making a scene. Instead, he gave L the 'We will talk' look. L sighed and nodded his head in understanding, sending up a little prayer that he wouldn't be grounded. 

"Oof. He's with Susan" Mello nudged Matt, "Could be your stepmum soon, L!" he added, unable to resist teasing his friend. 

L frowned. He didn't want a stepmum. Still, he couldn't deny Susan wasn't a nice lady. She cooked every Sunday and since being with her his Dad seemed to have a certain spring in his step. L tried very hard not to think too much on the reasons  _ why _ that might be. 

They ate their lunch as they chatted amongst themselves. Once they'd finished Laura and Light announced they were going for a walk in the park and L tried not to show his disappointment. He'd invited Light so they could hang out together!  _ 'But I guess I'm going to have to get used to sharing him' _ L thought as he waved them off, Light and Laura looking every inch the cute young couple as they walked off hand in hand. L suspected Light was in a mood with him but brushed that aside to deal with later. L and B were surprised when Matt and Mello announced they'd be leaving soon as they had plans of their own. 

"What plans?" L asked suspiciously. 

"Heh, good ones" Mello mimed smoking a cigarette and L rolled his eyes at the obvious gesture. So they were going to get high. Why did that sound so appealing?  _ 'Probably because I'm already in the dog house. Might as well go all in' _

L glanced at Beyond. Beyond simply smiled with a shrug. "I mean, I'm game if you are?"

_ 'Light would kill me. But Light isn't here. He's with her and I feel like I'm getting torn apart between him and B. Maybe it would make it stop for a while?' _

L shrugged. "Alright then"

*******************

Meanwhile, Light was talking Laura's ear off about just how much L had changed and what a bad influence Beyond was. Laura waited patiently for Light to finish his rant before expressing her own thoughts. 

"Have you considered the possibility that B isn't responsible, Light? He might be an influence, sure, but no one can make L change. That's down to him. So what if he's into rock bands and piercings now? That's normal teen stuff"

Light blinked at her. Sometimes it was hard to remember she was just shy of 15.

"I guess you're right" Light admitted, "I just feel like we are drifting apart a little bit and it upsets me. We've been friends for so long and… I'm sorry. We were supposed to be enjoying the park and all I've done is bitch and moan at you"

Laura smiled and pecked his cheek. "I don't mind, Babe, that's my job. If you ever need to bitch and moan, I'm here to listen. Until it gets too much and I tell you to zip it"

Light laughed and shook his head in wonder. How the hell had he gotten so lucky to have a Girlfriend like Laura? She was like a Mercedes when Misa had been a beaten up Corsa! 

"I'm sorry-"

"Don't be. Now, stop fixating on L so much and let him get on with it and we can enjoy our day" Laura said firmly and tugged Light along with her, "And buy me an ice cream while you're at it?"

Light bought them ice creams and they sat under the shade of a Willow to enjoy them. Light did his best to keep his attention focused on Laura and not let his mind drift to what L was up to. He'd text him later and find out what the fallout was with Watari. 

_ 'I don't want to bug Laura by constantly talking about L either. I know what people are saying about me and L but that's ridiculous. I do  _ **_not_ ** _ see him that way. At all' _

And with that, Light leaned in and kissed his girlfriend because he was a straight guy, thank you very much! 

***********************

As Light tried (somewhat successfully) not to dwell on L, L was not successful in the slightest. He was feeling somewhat sleepy and relaxed and he giggled to himself as he remembered the time when he and Light would stay up half the night on Christmas Eve to try and catch Santa. 

"Ha, he's giggly" Mello snickered as L took another long drag, "I thought so"

Matt, who was something of an old hand when it came to smoking weed, simply shrugged. At least L wasn't kicking off or tripping out. He'd seen that happen once or twice to newbies. 

They settled down on the rattan patio furniture and L began quizzing Matt on how to disguise the smell. 

"That's easy, man, lots of body spray and the age old excuse 'some kids' were smoking it in the park" Matt wisely said, "Like, my parents work away a lot so I can smoke whenever I want at home"

Indeed, they were all quite comfy smoking in Matt's back garden. His older brother Darren really didn't seem to give a shit. 

"How often do you smoke?" Beyond asked, curious as to just how addicted Matt actually was. He seemed like a seasoned pro. Beyond had tried it once or twice but didn't see what the appeal was really. It just made him hungry. 

"Every day since I was 13" Matt shrugged, "That's foster care for you I guess. It's only since Darren has turned 19 I was allowed to live with him"

L nodded in sympathy and Mello surprised everyone by pulling Matt into a hug. L noticed the flush on Matt's face and bit back a smile. There was definitely something simmering between those two. By the time they'd finished another two joints L decided it was best to call it a day. He was feeling more relaxed but he didn't want to push it. He still had his dad to deal with. 

Matt and Mello were murmuring to each other in quite the intimate way and, after a shared look, L and B decided it was time they were off and deviced battle plans for dealing with Watari. 

"You don't have to go" Mello said, even though it was obvious he was itching to spend time alone with Matt. 

"Yeah, we do" Beyond wrapped an arm around L's waist, "Message you later!"

L and B left and Matt suddenly felt a bit awkward. Since Mello's admission he was into guys too something had changed between them. Banter had evolved into flirting and Mello had even stated (several times) he found redheads hot, not to mention those looks Mel was giving him. Matt had done a bit of thinking (okay, so a lot) and had even taken the advice he'd given to Mello and watched gay porn. It did nothing for him until he imagined  _ Mello _ , anyway. That had been a very intriguing thought.  _ 'Ha, maybe the gay is catching?' _ Matt immediately wanted to roll his eyes at his thoughts. He wasn't gay. He liked girls, thought about them when he whacked off, but he couldn't deny there was something about Mello either.  _ 'Maybe I'm just confused? I don't want to try anything unless it ruins what we already have but- wait. Hold up. I'm doing an L here. Fuck that! If he flirts with me one more time I'm gonna kiss him. I can just blame it on the weed!' _

Silence hung thickly in the air and Matt wasn't quite sure what to say.  _ 'Might as well get it out in the open?' _

"So, Mels, what's with the whole redhead thing you got going on?" Matt tried for casual but wasn't sure he'd achieved it. Not by the way Mello coughed and spluttered anyway. 

"S-so what? What's wrong with having a preference?" Mello squeaked out, all bravado gone. 

"Nothing but I couldn't help but pick up on stuff" Matt scratched the back of his neck. Okay, so now he understood L and Light a little better. This shit was like walking through a minefield! 

Mello licked his lips nervously. Matt swallowed hard. 

"What stuff?" Mello asked quietly, even though he already knew. He wasn't exactly subtle, that just wasn't in his nature. 

"Flirting" Matt cleared his throat, feeling a little dizzy. Maybe it  _ was _ the weed? "You've been flirting with me for weeks now, Mel"

Mello's face flamed red. "I… uh, guess I was just practicing?"

"Practicing" Matt said flatly, feeling an odd pang of disappointment ripple through him.

Mello picked up on it and felt his breath catch. Matt had never given any indication he was into guys. Matt was his best friend.  _ 'God, what do I do now?' _ "Sorry" Mello shifted closer, his heart hammering against his ribcage. "I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable. I mean, you're with Anne, right?"

Matt shrugged. "Sorta. Haven't really spoken to her in like a week so…"

_ 'Okay, Mello, you're nearly fifteen years old. You can do this!' _ Mello abruptly leaned in and planted a kiss square on Matt's… chin.  _ 'Ah fuck!' _

Matt giggled and Mello had to smile. He'd always thought Matt's laugh was cute. "Sorry"

"Wanna try that again? I dunno, maybe aim for the lips this time, Dude?" Matt teased, his green eyes warm with good humor. 

"Oh, haha" Mello leaned in and gently brushed his lips with Matt's. It sent little tingles racing up and down his spine and he smiled shakily. Matt responded by grabbing him and pulling him in for a deeper, more intense kiss.  _ 'Holy Shit, he's going for tongues!' _ Mello managed to think through the mush that had once been his brain. 

"Shit" Matt breathed as they finally parted for breath. 

Mello smiled. "Shit" he agreed. 

"So, uh, does this mean we're more than friends now?" Matt's face scrunched up in an adorable expression of confusion and Mello just  _ had _ to kiss him again. He twined his fingers through that mop of red hair and pulled him closer. 

" _ Definitely" _

*********************

L sat before Watari, a blank expression on his face as he stoically endured Watari's tirade about his recent questionable life choices. Beyond had coached him in what to say and L repeated, word for word, that he was simply expressing himself. Sure enough, Watari didn't have an easy answer for that. 

_ 'Tch. It's a ring for fucks sake. It isn't the end of the world' _ he thought as Watari informed him L would  _ not _ be allowed to wear it in school.  _ 'Fine. It'll be healed by then anyways so I can take it out' _

"-and another thing-"

L tuned him out whilst nodding his head sporadically to indicate he was 'listening'. He felt his phone vibrate in his jeans pocket and sighed in frustration. It was probably Light and he wanted to talk to him. 

"L, are you listening to me?" Watari asked, utterly exasperated. Where had his sweet boy gone and  _ why _ had he been replaced by this surly, lip ring wearing  _ brat _ ?! 

"Yes. Can I go now?"

Watari sighed. He just wasn't getting through to L. He wished he could just blame Beyond for this change but he knew he couldn't and that that wasn't fair on the young man. L's unrequited feelings for Light were the cause, he was certain of it. L was growing up, trying to find himself and dealing with heavy emotions he didn't fully understand yet.  _ 'Perhaps a gentler hand is needed. He always did respond to that better' _

"L, you know I only want the best for you. I worry about you because you are my child and I love you" Watari laid a heavy hand on one frail shoulder, "Perhaps you're not my child by blood but you are by  _ choice _ , L. Never forget that"

L felt a bit shitty about his earlier attitude at those loving words and ducked his head, "I know. I'm sorry, Dad. I'll… take it out if you want me to and… I'm sorry for being rude to you. I love you too"

Watari knew he was a sucker for those big, sad eyes. He cleared his throat. "No. It needs time to heal now. Just… promise me if you ever find yourself struggling with anything you will reach out to me?"

L bit his lip. Maybe it would help to talk to his dad about his feelings for Light and the guilt that was crushing him? Hesitantly, L began to talk about when he'd first realised his feelings for Light had changed. Watari listened in silence, his heart aching as his boy unburderened himself. 

"The worst part is, I feel so guilty all the time. Part of me thinks I should end things with Beyond and then this other part of me doesn't want to because I really like him and… I just feel so  _ lost _ , Dad. Why can't Light just like me?"

Watari swallowed hard. Light  _ did _ like him, the boy just wasn't ready to admit those feelings yet. How he wished he could tell L that he and Light were soulmates, but if he did that then he risked hurting L further if Light took a long time to realise his feelings. How crushing would it be for L, who was just two months shy of fifteen, to live his life with such knowledge and have to wait? 

Ignorance was hardly bliss in such a situation, but it would be easier on L in the long run. 

L burst into tears and Watari instantly saw not a surly teen but his little boy returned to him. L was making the same heart wrenching sobs he'd made when he'd fallen over and cut his knee to Watari. Time fell away and suddenly a lip ring and teen rebellion didn't matter at all. 

Wordlessly, Watari gathered L in his arms and stroked his back as he let the storm of emotion tear through him… 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter? 'Panic' 
> 
> Yip, brace yourselves!


	13. Panic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L attends the gig but his PTSD is triggered with disastrous consequences, not just for himself but Light and Beyond when his feelings for Light are finally exposed...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Offt. This chapter hit me hard. The next chapter 'Fallout' is just as hard so brace yourselves, dear readers...

After pouring his heart out to his dad L had to admit he felt a bit better. He still felt burdened by his guilt and his feelings for Light but sharing those burdens had lifted some of the strain from him. In the contradictory, turbulent way of teenagers, L felt rather happy by the time the weekend had arrived. Well, until he spent too much time with Beyond or too much time thinking about Light (and Matt and Mello who were _ together _ ) and found himself back at square 1 again.

Watari had even given his permission (L decided he'd try and score some brownie points by  _ asking _ rather than just  _ doing _ this time) for him to dye his hair blue for the concert. Beyond came over and dyed his hair and they ended up jerking one another off afterwards in L's bedroom, with racing hearts and the thrilling fear of being caught. Thankfully, though, Watari was preoccupied with tending to his rose garden and they got away with it. 

Now they lay panting together, Beyond tracing lazy patterns on L's belly. "L?" Beyond murmured, his eyes still closed and voice sounding far away. 

"Mmm?" L felt sluggish and couldn't bring himself to lift his head up from its comfy pillow of Beyond's shoulder. 

"What do you think about the M's dating. Kinda weird, isn't it?"

L shrugged. "Not really… I mean, I'm glad they are. " 

Beyond, who was feeling rather insecure about the whole idea of best friends turning to boyfriends given L and Light's history, sighed and lifted his hand from L's belly. "Yes, I'm glad too, but It's just a bit of a surprise. Puts things into perspective, right?"

L sat up on an elbow, suddenly getting the feeling this was a conversation worth actually moving for. "What do you mean?"

"Well… I mean, it would be like you and Light suddenly dating. L… do you think about that-"

L couldn't bear to hear the rest. He pressed his lips to Beyond's, effectively silencing him. When he pulled away there was a strange look in Beyond's eyes and it made his heart ache.  _ 'I'm so sorry, B, I can't talk about this. I will only end up hurting you and that isn't what I want' _ "Hush. We're supposed to be having fun before the gig, not talking about stuff like that! Shall we head into town soon? I could really do with some pizza. Ugh, I'm gonna have to turn my phone off, my therapist is trying to get hold of me. Fuck  _ that _ , therapy can wait! Do you know she rang me  _ six times _ last week?!"

L rolled off the bed to get ready, and Beyond felt a strange sinking feeling. Perhaps he wasn't gaining as much ground with L as he'd previously thought. Therapy couldn't wait, L clearly needed it, and he clearly needed something he couldn't provide for him. 

He needed Light. 

*********************

Light, meanwhile, was also struggling to come to terms with the recent change. Matt and Mello were over his house and they were  _ holding hands _ . It was all kinds of strange and Light found himself just staring at them. 

"What, Dude?" Matt sighed as he caught Light eyeballing them  _ again _ . 

"Nothing! I'm sorry. It's just… odd. Like, you two have been best friends since you were kids and now you're  _ together _ "

Matt arched an eyebrow. "It's not odd, actually. It feels natural. I guess this was just meant for us"

_ 'Natural, huh?' _ Light found his mind drifting to L. Would it feel natural to hold his hand?  _ 'Yes. I've held his hand before. It felt nice' _

"You know, Light, you and L-"

"I'm gonna get juice!" Light stopped Mello in his tracks and dashed to the fridge, "Anyone want some?"

'Leave it, Dude' Matt mouthed to Mello discreetly. "Sure, we'll have some and then we can work out what we're going to do later. L might  _ think _ he can handle that concert but we all know he won't. Someone's going to have to get him when he has the inevitable freak out and that someone is probably going to be you, Light. I've spoken to Beyond and even he agrees. He's said he's happy to leave the concert if L gets freaked out"

Light sighed deeply. He'd already mentioned this to L but L (stubborn idiot that he was) protested that he'd be fine. That he  _ was _ fine. Light, like Matt and Mello and even bloody  _ Beyond _ , knew otherwise. "Already figured it out. Laura is coming with me and my family to the fair and I've pre warned her and Dad that we might have to vanish for a while and go grab L"

Mello nodded, pleased but not surprised Light had already thought of it. "He's trying very hard to be… I dunno, different? brave?"

"Yeah" Matt agreed, "He's dyed his hair blue. It looks cool but it's very… un-L if you get me. He sent me a pic earlier"

Light felt his shoulders stiffen. Why the hell hadn't L sent  _ him _ a picture?! 

Matt showed the picture of L sporting midnight blue hair and Light felt his stomach drop as the first thought that popped into his head was how  _ cute  _ L looked, even with the stupid lip ring in.  _ 'No. I don't mean cute that way. I mean… cute as in…  _ **_fuck!'_ **

Mello smirked at the flush on Light's face but wisely kept his mouth shut. 

"Whatever" Light poured everyone some juice, "You know L, he'll do what he wants"

Sadly, that was true. But what they didn't know was L's willful streak was going to put him in extreme danger later that evening… 

*********************

Watari had strong reservations about L going to the 'Screaming Blue Murder' gig but they were relieved somewhat when Souichiro texted and informed him he was on standby to pick L up if it became too much. 

Naturally Watari had protested that as L's father it should be his place to that, but he did have Susan staying the night and Souichiro wouldn't take no for an answer. Watari decided he wouldn't drink just in case and the moment L and Beyond had walked out the door he found himself clock watching. Surely Susan would understand if he had to comfort his boy? 

_ 'Hopefully it won't come to that but L is rather naive. It's one thing to enjoy that music through a pair of headphones but quite another to experience it in real life!' _

Watari made sure to explain the situation to Susan and she, the sweet angel that she was, decided to forgo her usual few glasses of wine just in case. They settled down to watch a film but Watari found it hard to switch off. 

_ 'I'd feel more reassured if Light was with him' _ he admitted to himself. He had nothing against Beyond, for he was a bright and charismatic young man. It was just a shame he wasn't  _ Light _ . 

Light, meanwhile, was just as het up as Watari. He held Laura's hand as he and his family strolled around the fairground but he couldn't help checking his phone every few minutes in case L had text. The gig had started 30 minutes ago and he'd heard nothing. 

_ 'Maybe he's okay? God, why is my stomach churning like this. Just answer already!' _ Light sent L another message asking if he was enjoying himself and Laura bit her lip. It was like Light wasn't even there with her... 

"Laura, do you want to go on the Waltzers with me?" Sayu asked, pulling her from her thoughts. Sayu was a sweet kid and Laura found herself powerless to resist those big brown eyes, even though she wasn't keen on rides. 

"Sure, Sayu!" She looped their arms together and glanced at Light. Seeing as he hadn't looked up from his phone, she left without saying where she was going. Light would just have to come find them! 

"See? Stressing about L" Souichiro murmured to his wife. He sighed when he noted  _ she _ looked equally as anxious. "Darling?"

"I know" Sachiko pocketed her phone. She  _ really _ needed to find a moment to ring her mother back. She gave Sayu a little wave as she and Laura clambered onto the Waltzers but her heart wasn't in it. Perhaps there was more of her mother in her than she knew, because she felt the hairs rise on the back of her neck and a chill race down her spine. She had a terrible feeling that something awful was going to happen. It was the same feeling she'd had on the day of the school shooting all those years ago… 

********************

_ 'Too loud! God, it's too loud. I can't do thisicantdothisicant-' _

"L!" Beyond roughly shook L's shoulders to get his attention and rouse him from his panic. The bass guitar  _ thundered _ over the speakers and L clutched at him fearfully. "Come on, let's get you outside for some fresh air, okay?" He all but shouted, hoping L would be able to understand. 

L shook his head, feeling guilty Beyond was missing the concert because of him. "No, it's fine. I'm fine. I'm just going to go to the bathroom!"

"What?! No! L-" Beyond yelped as he was suddenly grabbed into a rough hug by Steve, the cashier from blue Banana. He glanced over his shoulder, alarmed to see L was weaving his way through the crowd. 

"B my man!" Steve, who was clearly on something, crushed Beyond in a tight hug. "Are you enjoying the gig?"

"Ah, y-yeah but I-" Beyond squirmed out of Steve's embrace and scanned the crowd desperately for L.  _ 'Shit I've lost him!' _ The band struck up the chords for a new song and Beyond struggled his way through the cheering crowd to find L. 

Beyond was gasping by the time he'd made it to the men's bathroom. The heat was stifeling and he'd been groped  _ twice _ by the time he'd finally made it. His shoulders drooped as he saw no sign of L. He banged on the one occupied stall and was rudely yelled at to fuck off by an inebriated Scot. 

"Yeah, fuck you too, Douchebag!" Beyond snarled, panic setting in. L shouldn't be alone, especially when he was terrified and overwhelmed. He could have kicked himself for thinking L was ready for something like this. Beyond pushed those thoughts aside and took out his phone. It was time to call the cavalry. 

***********************

L had  _ meant _ to go the bathroom but somehow he'd ended up being pulled outside by a giggly pink haired girl. He felt lost and overwhelmed at the throngs of people so trotted along after her, hoping some fresh air would do him good. 

He sank down onto the pavement and sucked in lungfuls of cool night air. His thoughts and mind were still racing. The girl was calling him  _ 'Gary _ ' which confused the hell out of him and when he'd tried to tell her his name was L she'd simply laughed in his face. His head was spinning and he clutched at his hair in distress.  _ 'I need Light. I need Light. Where is he? What's happening?!' _

"Gary, you're  _ tweaked!  _ You need something to calm you down or something to get you up and dancing, man?"

L considered. He'd rather like to calm down but then he'd also like to be able to enjoy the gig like a normal person too. The pink haired girl pulled him into a hug before rummaging in her pockets and producing two pills. She seemed pretty tweaked herself as she winked at him playfully. One was pink, the other yellowish brown. L was drawn to the yellowish brown one as it reminded him of Light's eyes. 

"Dancing it is!" The girl giggled and plopped the pill in L's mouth. L blinked up at her dazedly as he swallowed the tablet. He had absolutely no idea he'd just taken _ Ecstacy  _ … 

**********************

Light leaned against the back of the candy floss stall and ran his fingers through his hair. He'd lost his family and Laura and L  _ still _ hadn't answered him. He was just about to resume his search when he heard his mother's voice through the crowd. He spotted her sitting on a nearby bench but froze as her words drifted over him. 

"I'm not being irrational, Mother, I think it's time Light knew! He and L are drifting further and further apart and it's painful to see!"

_ 'What? What does she mean?' _

Light  _ had _ to find out. He snuck around the backs of the stalls until he was close enough to eavesdrop. 

"Yes, and I've  _ tried _ that but… Mother, I've  _ seen  _ the way Light looks at him. They're meant to be together!"

_ 'Holy fucking shit. Mum  _ **_ships_ ** _ us?!' _

"I don't know how much longer I can" Sachiko continued, "I've got a horrible feeling, Mum, like I did  _ that _ day. I've tried getting hold of L but I can't get through"

Light's eyes widened in alarm. Suddenly that became his number one priority. His phone buzzed and he snatched it out of his pocket. 

**BeyondtheBellend: Light, get down to the arena. L freaked out and I lost him in the crowd. Can't find him! Come quickly!**

"Shit!"

Sachiko looked up and flushed guiltily as she saw her son. How much had he overheard? She'd been careful not to use the word soulmate… 

"Light-"

"No time. We need to find the others and get to the Arena  _ now _ . L's in trouble!" Light yelled as he frantically texted Beyond, Matt and Mello to meet him outside the arena in ten minutes. 

Sachiko felt an icy chill run through her as she grabbed her purse. She ran over to the Waltzers (Sayu had managed to charm Laura into going on them  _ again _ ) and hurriedly told her husband what had happened. Sayu and Laura shared an astonished, worried look as Light and Souichiro rushed off into the night. The girls gave up their spot in the line, suddenly not in the mood for fairground rides. 

"What do we do?" Sayu yelled over the chatter and the shrieks of the ride goers. 

"Your father said to stay put and wait here but  _ fuck that _ !" Sachiko shocked the girls as she fished inside her purse for her wallet. "Come on, we'll grab a taxi"

Sayu, still reeling at hearing her  _ mother _ swear, reached for Laura's hand. Laura held it all the way to the taxi, her stomach churning at the prospect of L being in danger and the effect that would have on Light. 

***********************

L was  _ hot _ . So hot he actually felt like he was burning up. He stumbled around, the loud noises and flashing lights of the strobe lighting assaulting his senses. 

"Light??"

People looked at him strangely but he was used to that. L pushed past them and scanned the crowds for Light. Light was the only one who could help him. Light would put the fire out. 

"I'm on fire!" L gasped, the thought far less alarming than it should be. In fact, it made him giggle. "I'm on  _ fire _ !"

And then someone was shaking his shoulders hard and L found himself squinting up into two worried violet eyes. "Light?" He asked hopefully, not being in a fit state to see how the other boy's face  _ crumpled.  _

"L! What have you taken?" Beyond shook L's shoulders again as L's head began to loll, "L! Look at me. Look at me, Babe, tell me what happened"

L smiled.  _ 'Ooooh it's B!'  _

Beyond growled in frustration and slung L's arm over his shoulders. The others had split up and were checking the nearby streets and shops. It was difficult but Beyond managed to scoop L up into his arms and bodily  _ force _ himself through the crowd. 

"Fucking  _ move! _ " He spat at a pair of girls who stood gaping at him and the state L was in. Belatedly they stepped aside and Beyond barged past them, his eyes narrowed into slits and a clear warning on his face for everyone to stay clear. 

He was gasping by the time he'd made it outside and sighed in relief as Light ran towards him and lifted L out of his arms. 

"L! It's me, it's me" Light laid L on the cool ground and shouted at Laura to ring an ambulance. Crowds were gathering and Sayu was crying and it all seemed just  _ too much _ -

"Light?"

Light bit down his panic and smiled shakily at L, tenderly running his fingers through his hair. "Yes, I'm here, L, it's going to be okay. I need you to think really hard for me. What did you take, L?"

L's face was shiny with sweat and the whites of his eyes were showing as he lapsed in and out of consciousness. Light shook his shoulders roughly, "L! Snap outta it. What. Did. You. Take?!" He yelled into L's face. 

"Pill" L mumbled, his tongue feeling like a big fat slug in his mouth. "Amber pill. Like your eyes. Said I was Gary…I love you, Light. Love you so much... "

"A pill…" Light whispered, his heart rate tripling as he mentally went over the drugs that could cause excess sweating and hallucinations.  _ 'Ecstasy. He's taken ecstasy! Fuck, L, what have you done?!' _

"What's he taken?" Beyond asked worriedly, peering over Light's shoulder. 

"Ecstasy" Light growled, whirling to face Beyond with fire in his eyes, "Why didn't you stop him? Why wasnt you  _ there _ for him?!" He pushed at Beyond's shoulder but Beyond shoved him back. 

"Why weren't  _ you _ there, Light? You're the one he was calling for! You're the one he really wants!"

Light froze, Beyond's words washing over him like an arctic wave. "I'm… the one he wants?"

"Yes. He loves you. He really loves you but you're both to fucking stupid to see it!" Beyond yelled in Light's face, tears springing to his eyes. Why wasn't he good enough for L? 

"L!" Beyond suddenly shoved Light aside and knelt by L, ripping his jacket off and bundling it behind L's head as he began to fit. 

"Oh god. Please don't die" Light broke down in tears as the shock finally hit home. Sachiko grabbed her son and hugged him tightly as the wail of sirens filled the air. 

"It's alright, Light, it's alright" Sachiko whispered, tears spilling down her face as she tried to comfort her sobbing son. "He won't die. He  _ can't die _ "

Light sobbed harder and buried his face into his mother's neck. Feeling helpless, Souichiro, Laura and Sayu could only look on as the ambulance pulled into the car park and paramedics rushed over to L…


	14. Finally

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L recovers, Beyond makes a painful decision, Watari gets tough and Light *finally* realises he loves L and confesses to him before they are parted...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the long delay in updating this. Work. Enough said. I am aiming to update this about twice a month so please be patient! :) 
> 
> Hope you enjoy the new chapter.

Quillish Wammy had never known true fear until the day he saw his son attached to a drip as a whole team of Doctors worked to stabilize him. 

He felt intensely guilty as he stroked L's hair. He had caused this. He'd been too soft on the boy. He should have put his foot down and refused to let him go to the gig. He'd  _ known _ L wouldn't be able to handle it but, no, he'd been stupid enough to believe the words of a naive, arrogant boy who'd thought  _ he _ knew best. 

Well, no more. As soon as L was better he was sending him to a specialist clinic. He'd discovered L had been ignoring his therapist and he was certain that had contributed to L lying in a hospital bed. 

L was in an induced coma and Watari had filed some of the long, anxious hours of waiting by researching live in therapy units who specialize in PTSD. He knew it would hurt both L and Light to be seperated but he had to do what was best for L and his future because that future had so nearly been ripped from him. 

Watari rubbed his eyes tiredly but mustered a smile as Souichiro appeared with a fresh coffee. He hadn't drunk his last one but now he felt desperate for the caffeine now. 

Souichiro and Sachiko had admitted Light to the hospital too to be treated for shock and finally he had fallen asleep, but only after a powerful sedative was given for his own safety. They prayed when he next awoke they would have good news for him. Seeing Light cry out for L had been heartbreaking. Laura, Sayu, Matt, Mello and Beyond had been sent home but no one expected them to be able to get much sleep that night. 

The room was silent save for the bleeps of machines and L's soft, shallow breathing. The silence was deafening.

Souichiro snatched up his phone as it vibrated on the table and listened in silence as the officer gave his report. Apparently a girl had mistaken L for a friend and admitted giving him a pill. The girl was 18, L just two months shy of 15. It was all so tragic (so preventable!) Souichiro wanted to cry. 

"Arrest the girl and bring her to the station. Mistaken identity or not she has risked his life and must pay for it" Souichiro growled softly, a fierce protectiveness welling inside him. His son's  _ soulmate  _ was lying in a hospital bed because of that stupid girl! 

"What is it?" Sachiko tugged at her husband's sleeve the second he'd hung up. "How did he take it? Did he… oh god, did he  _ know _ what he was doing?"

"No. He was having a panic attack and a girl admitted to giving him the tablet. He took it himself but he was not in a rational state of mind to realise what he was doing"

Watari wiped at his eyes.  _ 'Foolish child!' _ He thought, even though he felt a wave of relief L hadn't meant to take the pill. 

L's fingers twitched in his sleep, his face scrunching up in distress as he dreamed about being taken away from Light and a door slamming in his face… 

***********************

The days that followed were hard on everyone. Light spent the majority of his time hanging around the hospital waiting for L to wake up. Laura, faithfully, waited with him. 

Matt, Mello, Light, Laura and Beyond were sent down to the canteen to have some lunch so they trudged through the long corridors with pale faces and heavy hearts. This was  _ not _ the way they'd intended to spend their summer holiday, but none of them could even consider having fun. Not while L lay in a hospital bed. 

Beyond looked at Light thoughtfully. He'd soon realised Light hadn't remembered a thing he'd said to him that awful night and was debating what to do about it. It was hardly surprising, Light had lapsed into a state of shock. But he couldn't carry on with L now, it was too painful and there was no point anyway. L loved Light and that would never change no matter what he did. He felt he deserved better, he deserved someone who wanted  _ him _ and sadly L never would. An idea took root in his mind and, after much thought, Beyond decided it was the best course of action. He didn't want to hurt L by ending things with him, especially not at such a delicate time, so he'd just have to bend the truth a little and use the gaps in their memory to his (and L and Light's) advantage. 

As they sat down and poked at their food, Beyond steered the conversation towards the night of the gig. "You know, we were having a good time before it became too much for him. We'd even decided to split up and just be friends"

"What?" Light's head jerked up, "You dumped him?!" He hissed angrily, wondering if that was the reason L had become so unstable. 

Beyond resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Light was such an overprotective  _ twat _ at times. "No, Light, I said  _ we _ decided to split up. We are better suited to being friends, we'd both been thinking it for a while" Beyond shrugged, "L was actually the one who brought it up"

He felt a little guilty but he knew the lie was the best course of action, for both himself and for L. L was too kind, too  _ lost _ to ever be able to end things with him. He'd go on pining for Light while staying with him and the thought was aborhant to Beyond. They  _ both _ deserved better than that! Laura deserved better, but Beyond knew she was a smart girl. She'd realise she was being taken for a ride by Light while he figured out his feelings. Beyond really wanted to hate Light but he couldn't. Instead, he promised himself he'd be there for Laura. 

Matt and Mello shared a surprised glance. Laura, however, simply stared at Beyond. She could tell there was something he was holding back. She made a mental note to have a chat with him in private, because she  _ did _ remember what Beyond had screamed at Light that night and now everything made sense. Light wasn't  _ hers _ , not really, he was L's, he just didn't know it. Light was unintentionally using her, just as L had been with Beyond. 

_ 'We have a lot in common, B' _ Laura thought as she gave the dark haired boy a small, understanding smile.  _ 'I will follow your example and end things with Light. But not yet. I can't do that right now, he needs me' _

Beyond glanced at her and smiled back. He picked up on her need to talk and dipped his head in acknowledgement. 

"So… you and L are no more" Matt shot Light a loaded look, "I'm sorry to hear it but if you both felt you were better off as friends it was the right call"

"Yeah it was. I hope L remembers the conversation we had but I doubt it" Beyond resisted the urge to glare at Light.  _ 'I'm making this easy for you, you bastard, so stop glaring at me!' _

Light grabbed his phone as it rang and his face crumpled with relief as his mother told him the good news: L was awake. 

***********************

L blinked up at the Dr and frowned as he tried to remember what had happened. He had hazy memories of heat, and bright lights and loud noise but that was it. Watari's stricken face made him feel so guilty and L apologised, even though he wasn't sure what he was apologizing for. 

Watari swiftly, but gently, filled him in on what had happened and L burst into tears. He felt  _ pathetic _ that his own arrogance had led him into such danger. Watari soothed him the best he could but knew L wouldn't truly calm until he'd seen Light. 

Light arrived, red-faced from running, and barged into the room. "L!"

L teared up and managed a faint smile as Light flung himself into his arms. Careful of the cannula and drip still attached, L gently wrapped an arm around Light's shuddering shoulders. 

"I thought I'd lost you! You nearly  _ died _ , L! What the  _ hell _ were you thinking?!"

L sighed. "I don't know, Light. I'm so sorry. I can't remember anything about that night"

The adults left the room to give the boys some time to talk, sensing they needed it. They had the fallout of L's therapy stay to deal with yet but they decided that they could wait until the boys had been reunited. The next year was going to be hard on them all so they deserved this moment of privacy before they were forced to part. 

"L" Light tearfully nuzzled into L's neck, "It would have  _ killed _ me to lose you!"

L felt his heart ache and he slowly ran his fingers through Light's hair. "I know. I remember feeling the same when you were in hospital when we were little"

Light sat on the edge of the bed and tentatively asked L if he remembered breaking things off with Beyond. 

"No! Shit, I can't" L bit his lip. He felt both sad  _ and _ relieved things had ended. He knew it wasn't fair on Beyond. "Is he… okay about it?"

"Yeah. He said it was a mutual thing, that you both wanted to just be friends"

L nodded slowly, feeling nothing but  _ confused _ . He liked B, was attracted to him but he wasn't Light. Beyond deserved better than to be used as a substitute and L had been thinking that for a while. "That's good then" he murmered, feeling both relieved and saddened his first ever relationship was over. 

Light felt like  _ shit _ for being relieved they were over but he couldn't help it. He knew he didn't have long left with L before he was sent to that German clinic and he wanted to spend as much time as possible with just the two of them. He didn't even want to  _ think _ about school next year without L by his side.  _ 'They haven't told him yet. Probably waiting for him to be discharged first. I have a funny feeling he's going to object at first but for his sake I will persuade him to give it a try. He won't listen to anyone else' _

Once L's vitals had been checked and deemed stable, his friends were allowed to visit. Matt and Mello and Laura and Beyond filed into the room. L felt anxious as he looked at Beyond but he needn't have worried. Beyond shot him a small smile and simply asked how he was feeling. L smiled shyly at him and said he was okay. Everyone tried to ignore the awkwardness. 

The conversation was a little strained and forced at first but once Mello knocked over a carton of juice and spilt it everywhere, the laughter soon eased tensions and they ripped into Mello for his characteristic clumsiness 

"You're so clumsy, Babe" Matt snickered fondly as Mello and Laura tried to soak up the juice. 

Mello grinned but Light felt a sharp pang hit his chest as he watched Matt press a soft kiss to Mello's lips. Matt and Mello  _ weren't  _ weird anymore. They were natural. He found his eyes drifting to L and it seemed like a switch had been flicked. Suddenly he  _ understood _ . He wanted what Matt and Mello had but not with Laura. 

No, he wanted L. L wasn't just his best friend. L was so much more to him.  _ 'I'm so sorry, L. If I had worked out my feelings perhaps none of this would even happened. I've always been protective of you but I didn't protect your heart'  _

Light was aware he tended to brush aside uncomfortable truths but this revelation was a gentle one and it made him breathe easier. He couldn't brush this away, not when it made him feel  _ free _ . He wanted to laugh as a thousand memories and moments where they'd been straddling friendship and romantic love filtered into his mind: L stroking his hair in that gentle way of his, their constant need to speak to one another, his jealousy at L dating Beyond… 

_ 'I have been so ignorant. For years I've denied my feelings for him but here they are, staring me in the face. L likes me too. I know he does' _

Light's revelation couldn't have come at a worse time, however, because Watari informed him and his friends (once L was asleep, of course) that L would be leaving the next month. 

Light felt like the ground had shifted beneath him and stared longingly through the glass at L. "I'm going to miss him"

Watari gave the lad a small smile. Perhaps this had been the wakeup call Light had needed to figure out his feelings? "Yes, I know. A year is a long time but you will be able to speak to him every day, Light"

Light's shoulders sagged, "I know but… I  _ love _ him Watari"

Watari blinked. The way Light had said that sounded different. "You love him as a friend, or…?"

Light flushed. Of course Watari knew. "No. I mean, yes I love him as a friend but… I have deeper feelings for him, I think nearly losing him has made me confront them when I was pushing them away. Everything makes sense now. I love him, Watari-San"

Watari pulled Light into a hug and closed his eyes in relief.  _ 'Finally' _

***********************

True to form, L did indeed kick off when Watari informed him of their impending move to Germany two days later. He was due to be discharged that afternoon. 

"No! You can't do that to me, Dad, I won't spend an entire year away from Light!" L yelled, tears welling in his eyes at the stern look on the man's face.  _ "Please _ , Dad, I won't survive without him!"

_ 'Ah, young love. Ever so dramatic' _ Watari thought, battling a smile. L was doing well and was due to be discharged from hospital that afternoon. He could delay breaking the news no longer and he just hoped Light would be the one to convince L to give therapy a shot. He suspected the lad would, even though doing so would be a personal sacrifice to him. 

"Light is coming to see you soon, L" Watari soothed, "We've discussed it and he thinks it's a good idea"

"He does?!" L yelped, shocked. He thought Light would have been dead set against the idea. Perhaps spending a year apart wouldn't be as painful for Light as it was for him? 

"Yes. He knows it is going to be tough but it is what you need, L. Light understands that"

L bit his lip, feeling utterly torn. He knew deep down he did need help. He'd been ignoring his therapy and ignoring  _ himself _ as well. He needed help and as painful as it would be he'd have to put up with not seeing Light for a year. 

Light arrived with his mother and L's face crumpled at the sight of him. Light looked  _ exhausted _ . He had a violet tinge under his eyes and L felt a pang of guilt at Light losing sleep over him. 

"Hey" Light let himself in and smiled tiredly at L, "How are you feeling?"

"Like shit. You?"

"Ditto" Light's smile grew, "So, uh…" he glanced at Watari, wondering if the man had told L yet. Watari answered with a short nod. "I think the therapy stay is a good idea"

L sighed. "Okay. I will go. But you have to promise to ring me every single day without fail"

"Cross my heart" Light nodded solemnly, "it's what you need, L"

_ 'No. What I need is you' _ L thought as Watari offered to fetch everyone a drink.  _ 'And not that I mind but what is it with everyone leaving Light and I alone all the time?' _

Light perched on the end of L's bed and, after a moment's hesitation, reached for L's hand and held it in his own. 

L's eyes widened and he felt his face flush red.

"Light?" L whispered, terrified this was a dream he was about to wake up from. He barely dared to  _ breathe _ as Light leaned in and brushed his hair from his face. It was like he was caught in a spell, one as fragile as spun glass, and one wrong move would shatter everything. Instead of moving he stared into those lovely amber eyes as Light's fingers curled around his hair. 

"I've been so stupid, L. I think we've both been stupid, don't you think?"

L opened his mouth to reply but Light shook his head. L gulped as he felt Light's fingers trail down his cheek and then brush across his jawline. His entire being trembled and he  _ ached _ with anticipation as he wondered where those slender fingers would touch next. His cheek again? His ears? 

"I realise it now, I'm  _ in  _ love with you, L. It's always been you, even when we were little my life revolved around you. I nearly died for you and I live for you. I know you feel it too. Perhaps I've known for sometime I've just been avoiding it. No more. Can I kiss you?" Light leaned in and L let out a faint whimper. He nodded his head, not trusting himself to utter the simple, life changing word 'Yes'. 

The blood roared in his ears as Light's lips brushed against his. L closed his eyes, feeling dizzy with happiness at the sensation of that soft, perfect kiss. Light was a good kisser, not that he was surprised, and he sighed when he felt Light's tongue trace his lower lip. The dizzy sensation increased but L couldn't bring himself to care. Light's tongue was in his mouth and his brain and body were rapidly dissolving into mush. 

_ 'He's kissing me! Oh my god, oh god this is really happening-' _

Light frowned as L suddenly went lax and pulled away in confusion. 

"L?" He gently shook L's shoulders. "L?!" He asked a little more forcefully when he received no reply. 

L had fainted, a small smile on his lips. 

Light shook his head in disbelief and shook L again. L's eyes fluttered open and he smiled dazedly at Light. 

"You really love me?" He whispered, staring up at Light in absolute wonder. 

"I really do" Light smiled and stroked L's hair, "I can't believe you fainted, you idiot"

L laughed, "I'm sorry. It's just… I've loved you for a very long time and I didn't believe this would ever happen"

Light sighed, feeling bitter at all the time they had wasted.  _ 'But there's plenty more. A year will be hard but at the end of it…' _

At the end of it, they'd have their future. To seal that fact, Light leaned in for another kiss and L wrapped his arms around Light's neck, tears leaking from the corner of his eyes as his soul  _ sang _ . 

Outside, Sachiko and Watari shared a proud look before discreetly turning away. 

_ 'Finally _ ' she thought... 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Gone. L leaves for Germany, Light struggles without him and Laura and Beyond bond after Laura finishes things with Light...


	15. He's Gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L leaves for Germany, leaving Light crushed without his soulmate. Light has an important conversation with his mother and a long overdue chat with Beyond and Laura. Later, Light contacts L to see how he's settling in...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The pining is real! Our boys cry a lot in this chapter, bless their hearts 😢
> 
> Next chapter will be set three months later, so just a warning for the time skip up ahead!

The day L was to leave had hung over them like a storm cloud for weeks and finally it had arrived. L and Light held hand all the way to the airport, L's grip tightening whenever Light even moved a finger. Now they were sitting in the departure lounge and the clock on the wall seemed to be ticking ominously.

Light tightened his hold on L's hand as a loud clatter rang out (someone had dropped their baggage) and L flinched. 

He was nervous and scared and Light wished L didn't have to leave, almost as much as he wished for L to leave and to get better. They hadn't told anyone about their relationship yet, Light had decided he'd tell Laura once L had left. He didn't want L to have to deal with the fallout, even though he knew Laura was not one to kick and scream like Misa had. Perhaps she already knew, for Laura was acting distant towards him and spending a lot of time with Beyond. He felt guilty and resolved to end things as soon as he got back home. Laura deserved so much better and Light knew she'd understand. She was the smartest girl he knew, far more mature than her years gave her credit for. 

L sighed when his flight was announced and turned two, desperate eyes to Light. He had just twenty more minutes until they would be parted. 

"It's going to be okay" Light soothed, stroking L's back. "I will facetime you as soon as you are settled in tonight, I swear"

L relaxed a little at the promise but he couldn't help but fret. Half the students at Wammy's wanted to date Light, he was one of the most popular boys in school. What if someone tried to steal Light away from him? "Light, we will be okay, won't we? You won't date anyone else while I'm away?"

Light smiled in exasperation and shook his head. "No. I will explain everything to the others later and finish things with Laura. I will wait for you, L, I promise"

L nodded, relieved. Light  _ never _ broke his promises. "I won't date anyone else either"

"I should hope not!" Light laughed, "You're mine"

L flushed. That was a strange thing to hear but he rather liked it. "Say it again" he demanded, nudging Light's side playfully. 

"You're mine" Light chuckled, "And I'm yours. Just like when we got married, remember? We promised to always be there for one another. And we will, even though we'll be apart from a while"

L's eyes lit up and he rummaged in his backpack for some twine he kept (it helped him with his anxiety) and handed the twine to Light with a wordless plea. Light understood and took the twine off him, swiftly getting to work making another ring. Perhaps it would give L some comfort. 

_ 'One day when we're older I'm going to give him a proper ring' _ Light thought as he worked.  _ 'Which reminds me, I need to talk to Mum about what I overheated at the fare. She sounded adamant we were meant to be together and I know there's something she's not telling me. Her reaction when I told her L and I were dating was  _ **_relieved_ ** _. Why should she be relieved about it?' _

Light pondered as he worked and L sat back to watch him, awed at Light's speed as his nimble fingers worked. Light always seemed to know just how big to make the ring and L was determined to keep it on for as long as he was in therapy. It would be like having a part of Light with him. L smiled as he realised he had another important part of Light with him too. Something he'd never expected to have- his heart. 

"Done" Light pronounced as he picked up L's hand to place the ring on his finger. 

L felt a shiver run through him and for a moment he could see an older Light doing the same thing. He wasn't one to believe in premonitions or such things but the vision brought tears to his eyes.  _ 'I want to marry him one day. Please let me marry him when we're ol _ der' L wasn't sure who he was praying to, perhaps the universe itself, but he put everything he had into the wish. 

"Baby…" Light frowned, reaching for L to comfort him. 

L's cracking composure splintered apart at the pet name and he flung his arms around Light's neck and sobbed into his shoulder.  _ 'I don't want to leave you! I don't want to go, it isn't fair' _ L thought bitterly. He finally had what he wanted yet he had to leave it behind! 

Sachiko and Watari approached and both adults felt their hearts ache at the scene. Parting the boys was going to be difficult, they'd known that, but hearing L's heart wrenching sobs was painful. Light, the more composed and stoic of the pair, was crying silently as he rubbed L's back. 

"It will be okay, L" Light mumbled into L's hair, his voice choked with restrained emotion, "Don't cry, Baby, it will be okay I promise"

"It's for the best" Sachiko whispered, placing her hand on Watari's arm to stop him rushing to L. She'd learned long ago that the boys found their best source of comfort in one another and sometimes as a parent that was hard to take. "One day they will thank us" she added, praying that was true. It was what her mother believed, and she'd been spot on so far in her predictions for L and Light. She'd even mentioned a 'necessary parting' that would be painful for the boys but would, in the long run, help them both. 

Watari nodded, knowing that was true. Light had even agreed to see a therapist to discuss his own (occasional) nightmares about the shooting and the trauma it had caused. The boys were growing up fast and when L returned he would be sixteen. 

_ 'Sixteen. Practically an adult' _ the thought shook Watari. His little boy was fading away but he was determined to help mould the man L would one day become. And to become that man, L would need the help the clinic would provide. 

That didn't make seeing his son sob in the arms of his soulmate any easier to bear though… 

*******************

It was  _ weird _ . Light wandered around his house, L's snow globe in hand, and tried to process the fact that L was currently thousands of feet above him and traveling to another country. 

Sachiko knocked on his door and entered with an understanding smile and some sweet tea. "Are you alright, Dear?"

Light sighed and plopped down on his bed. "I guess. I just feel so…  _ empty _ , Mum. It's so strange knowing I can't just go to his house or I won't be seeing him in school"

Sachiko sat down next to her son and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. She could already tell her would be just as broad and powerfully built as his father. "Darling, there is a reason why you are feeling like this. I… I think we need to talk"

Light turned to his mother. "We do. I overheard some of your conversation that night, Mum. What did you mean by saying L and I were  _ meant _ to be together. I've been thinking about it and I'm assuming you were talking to Granny. Did she say something?" Light had always dismissed his Granny's preminatiins as a funny quirk of hers, but she had been spookily accurate a number of occasions as well. Perhaps it wasn't just an old lady's folly after all… 

"I was, yes, Darling. Granny told me many years ago that you and L are… that you and L are destined to be together. That you are  _ soulmates _ "

Light stared at his mother, eyes narrowing in anger. "And you didn't think to inform  _ me _ of that little fact? I've been denying my attraction to him for over two years, Mum!"

"I wanted to, Light! But you were both so young! You were dating Misa and… I just didn't think you were ready for  _ forever  _ and neither did Granny" Sachiko explained gently, tears filling her eyes. "Do you think it's been easy, Light?"

Light softened at the sight of his mother's tears and, feeling like a little boy again, turned to face her and hugged her tight. "I'm sorry, Mum. I didn't mean to make you cry"

Sachiko shook her head and pressed a kiss to her boy's beautiful hair. "I know it isn't going to be easy, my Love, but it will be worth it, I promise you. You just need to be strong"

Light nodded and tightened his arms around her, silent tears trailing down his face. He'd be strong. He'd be strong for L. L couldn't see him like this… 

********************

Meanwhile, L was looking around himself in confusion. The German announcements forced his shell shocked brain to concentrate and decipher the words. The plane was preparing to land. He turned to Watari and swallowed thickly as the man squeezed his arm. 

"I will be staying in a hotel just down the road, L, and I will see you daily. You won't be alone and you can speak to Light every day"

L sighed. "I know but… it's different now, Dad. Light  _ loves _ me"

Watari gave his son a tight, strained smile. He really needed to discuss with Sachiko when the right time would be to tell L that Light was his soulmate. 

"Come on, gather your things, L, you're due to check in in an hour"

L sighed and stared out of the window moodily. He didn't care about checking in or therapy right now, he just wanted Light! 

All too soon the plane landed and L dragged his feet as he followed Watari out of the busy airport and into a waiting taxi. He felt nervous and afraid of what  _ 'The Meadows Therapy Center' _ would be like. He had never been good at getting along with others and he'd certainly never been good at following the rules either. 

Would it feel like a prison? 

"L" Watari pulled L against him for a brief hug as the taxi pulled away, "I promise you everything will be alright. Trust me and trust yourself. This needs to happen"

L nodded his head and blinked back the tears welling in his eyes, fiddling with the ring of twine on his finger.  _ 'I'm going to get better for you, Light, and when I return home I am never going to be parted from you again!' _

***********************

Light was surprised to find Beyond sat next to Laura when he'd arrived at the park to speak to her. He could see a closeness between them that hadn't been there before and it made him anxious. He really didn't want a big argument right now, he was still too cut up about L leaving. 

"Hey" Laura waved him over and Light hesitantly approached. He was surprised once again when Beyond nudged a cup of coffee towards him. 

"Thank you" Light murmured, wondering if the boy had poisoned it or something. Beyond and Light looked at one another, the old rivalry making things awkward between them. Beyond sighed and glanced at Laura meaningfully. 

"L left alright?" Laura asked gently, breaking the ice. 

"Well, he wasn't alright, no, but he landed in Germany about an hour ago. He's probably settling in now so I'm waiting to be able to speak to him" Light explained quietly, dreading the conversation he was about to have. It would be all the harder because Beyond was there as well but it needed to be done. No more avoiding the truth. 

"I'm sorry, I know it must be tough, Light, but it will be worth it in the long run" Laura soothed, her big green eyes full of understanding. "You asked me here because you said you have something we need to discuss?" She prompted when Light's gaze slid to the ground. 

"I…" Light flicked his eyes up and took a deep, calming breath, "I think we should break up, Laura. You are an amazing girl but my heart belongs to L. I think it always  _ has _ , I just didn't realise it until recently. Please don't hate me…"

Laura's smile left him shell shocked and Light gaped at her as she reached for his hand and held it in her own. 

"Thank you, Light, for being honest. I  _ know _ how you feel about him. I've known for a while now, I was just waiting for you to be ready to say it. I understand and of course I don't hate you. You and L are my  _ friends _ " Laura squeezed his hand, "I wish you every happiness"

Light felt tears sting his eyes and he blinked them away, embarrassed to be seen crying in front of Beyond. 

"I'm glad you finally realised" Beyond gave Light a small, cryptic smile, "L has liked you for a long time, Light, it was the main reason we broke up. I don't feel bitter about it, I'm just glad things are out in the open now"

_ 'Wow' _ Light felt guilty for assuming the worst of Beyond and sipped at his unpoisoned latte, "Thank you, Beyond" he whispered, feeling rather small. "For what it's worth, I am sorry. If only we had figured this out none of this would have happened. You wouldn't have gotten hurt"

Beyond shrugged. He was still upset about letting L go but he'd be lying if he said he was  _ devastated _ . He wanted L to be with the one who made him happy and that simply wasn't him. Besides, he had new feelings he was trying to figure out… 

"Anyway" Laura took a sip of her hot chocolate, "Matt said we can all write to L so we were thinking about meeting up once a week for a letter writing session. I'm sure L would appreciate it"

"He really would" Light smiled, touched by her thoughtfulness, "Thank you for being such a good friend"

Laura's soft green eyes sparkled, "You're welcome, Light, and remember you have other friends too" she looked at Beyond pointedly. Beyond sighed but dutifully stretched out his arm, offering his hand to Light. 

"Truce?"

Light blinked in surprise before slowly reaching out to clasp Beyond's hand and saying something he  _ never _ thought he'd say to his one time rival. "Friends"

************************

L sat on his bed and stared out at the lush green forest stretched out before him. The Meadows wasn't that bad. In fact, it was rather beautiful and tranquil. He and his dad had been shown around the facility and the staff had been full of patient smiles and soft, gentle voices as they answered their questions. He was told he would meet his own Psychologist daily for private sessions (L had stipulated quite firmly he would  _ not _ participate in any group sessions) and would be encouraged to participate in various fun activities like hiking, horse riding, kayaking and (most importantly) art. L quite liked the idea of those activities and decided he'd give them a go. Maybe he'd even make some new friends during the process? 

Watari had been very impressed at the person-centered approach the facility offered and by the time he'd left to check into his hotel he was truly confident he had done the right thing. He wasn't naive enough to think L would settle in straight away (indeed, he was dreading the first night apart) but he knew in his heart L would flourish at the Meadows. 

L hadn't eaten anything for dinner (he'd simply been too upset after Watari had left) but the staff had been kind enough to bring some sandwiches, cake and juice to his room. L picked at them as he stared at his phone, eagerly awaiting Light's call. 

His screen lit up and L grabbed his phone, tears brewing in his eyes at the very welcome sight of  _ his  _ Light. 

"Light! I miss you!"

Light smiled sadly. "I miss you too, L, so much. How are you? What's it like?" Light asked breathlessly, praying L was alright and that he'd settle into his strange new surroundings.

L turned the phone around and showed Light the spectacular view from his window. 

"Wow! That's  _ gorgeous _ , L! You should paint it"

"That's a good idea. I will and I will send it to you" L smiled, feeling a little spark of hope blossom. "I'm okay. I'm… sad. It's a lot to take in and… oh god, I just miss you so much, Light"

"I know, Sweetheart, but you're strong, you can do it" Light soothed, "And I'm going to speak to you everyday  _ and _ me and the guys are writing to you every week too"

L's smile grew. "Really? That's awesome!" He was only allowed to contact his dad and Light (Watari had expressly demanded L needed regular contact with him) and was not allowed to call or text anyone else since it could pose a distraction from his recovery. So the prospect of being able to write to Matt, Mello, Beyond and Laura was a relief. L had been heartbroken at not being able to keep in touch with his friends. 

They talked, and laughed and cried for hours until a soft knock on L's door sounded. 

"L? It's time for lights out soon, Lovie"

L cringed at the pet name but Light just laughed. He was relieved L was surrounded by such patient, kind people. 

"Okay, thank you, Miss Vetchers" L called back politely. "I have to go" L murmured sadly, "I love you, Light"

"I love you too, L. Please try and rest for me tonight. Remember you're wearing my ring and that means I'm with you"

L promised he'd try but when the call disconnected he found himself weeping bitterly into his pillow. 

Outside it was growing dark and the owls were hooting from the darkened branches of the trees. L got ready for bed and lay quietly in the dark, his eyes blank and unseeing as he stared at the ceiling. 

It was many hours before L did finally manage to sleep, Light's ring firmly clenched in his fist and resting above his heart… 


	16. You are my Soulmate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's L's birthday and both boys are struggling being apart, but Light decides to take his own destiny in his hands and gives L a few home truths AND an unexpected proposal...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. Work, need I say more?

The last three months had been difficult, but, as Light walked to school one crisp October morning, he realised things were getting easier as time passed, just as his mother said it would. 

L's birthday was in four days and Light was meeting the others to complete their care package they were sending him. 

_ 'God, I hope it turns out alright and he doesn't just cringe at it'  _ Light thought as he clutched his notebook tightly. They were studying romance poems in English Literature and so Light had decided to try his hand at writing L some love poetry. It would either be a roaring success (L was a patron of the arts and had always had a soft spot for poetry) or it would be an epic fail. There was no in between. 

Only one person knew he was writing L a poem and surprisingly that person was Beyond Birthday. They were partnered in English class and since the day they had shaken hands in the park a tentative, growing friendship had blossomed between them. Beyond was rather good at writing poetry and was giving him pointers and reading his drafts.

Beyond and Laura were an item now and it was obvious to anyone who possessed eyes that they were utterly smitten with one another. Light was pleased for them, even though being surrounded by couples made him ache all the more for L. 

_ '9 more months' _ Light reminded himself doggedly,  _ 'It isn't a lifetime and L is doing so well at the Meadows. His anxiety is being managed and he's even made a few friends!' _

"Yuu-huuuu!"

Light groaned as Mello flounced over to him with all the subtlety of a  _ flamingo _ . 

"Morning, Lighty!" Mello chirped, immediately zeroing in on the bag of muffins Light carried. Light wasn't fond of sweets but eating them felt like a link to L, so he'd started buying them from the bakery on his walk to school. 

"Morning, Mels" Light laughed and handed him a muffin, "Where's Matt?"

"Sleeping in. Apparently he can't 'do school' today because he has a 'headache'" Mello rolled his eyes dramatically. 

Light raised an eyebrow. "So…?"

"He's hungover. His brother threw a houseparty last night and Matt sneaked a bottle of vodka. It was so fun!"

"Why aren't  _ you _ hungover?" Light asked in confusion. Sure, he'd tried the odd beer before but alcohol didn't hold much of an appeal to him. L had gotten drunk on a bottle of Watari's red wine once and had thrown up all over the living room carpet and had been grounded for a  _ month _ because of it. Alcohol just didn't seem worth the trouble to Light. 

"Tch, I'm  _ Russian,  _ Light. Vodka is like water to me" Mello's chest puffed proudly. "Anyway, I do feel a  _ bit _ dodgy so I'm skipping Maths and History today. Cover for me, will ya?"

Light rolled his eyes but promised that he'd cover. Mello had done the same for him after all. 

They arrived at school and headed straight to the library. It was quiet and they found Laura and Beyond waiting for them (well, snogging as they were waiting) at their usual table. 

"Hey, Lovebirds" Mello cooed in greeting. Laura flushed and hastily extracted herself from Beyond's arms. 

"Hi guys" Laura beamed, "No Matt?"

Light left Mello to explain the whole hungover thing and walked off with Beyond to get them all some coffee and to get Beyond's critique of his latest draft. 

"Well?" Beyond asked, arching an eyebrow expectantly and holding his hand out for the notebook.

"B, I just can't seem to get it right" Light groaned as he handed Beyond the notebook, "It's got to be sent tomorrow and I'm  _ still _ not happy with it!"

Beyond hummed as he flipped open the notebook and went to draft thirty bloody seven. He read the poem as Light went over to the vending machine to get everyone's coffee. At this point, Beyond was pretty certain he could recite it from memory. 

"Fuck sake, Light" Beyond tutted as he finished the poem and closed the notebook. The poem was actually really good! The problem was Light was a  _ perfectionist _ and was stressing out over whether to describe L's hair as 'Ebony' or 'Onyx' "Could just settle for black?" Beyond snickered to himself. 

"What?" Light looked over his shoulder and Beyond bit his lip to hide his smile. 

"How about just calling it black?" Beyond repeated. 

Lights face scrunched up. " _ No!  _ His hair isn't  _ just _ black, though, Beyond. It sorta… glimmers in the light. Like, it has a bluish tinge to it sometimes and it's just so shiny and  _ blah blah blah blah- _ "

Beyond blocked off the rest as Light waxed lyrical about L's 'gorgeous' hair and returned to the table. It was too early for that shit. 

"Poem?" Laura mouthed in amazement, noticing the exasperation on her boyfriend's face. Beyond was just so  _ cute!  _

"Oh yes" Beyond sighed, "I am going to be so relieved when he finally sends the blasted thing, Babe"

Mello, distracted by sending memes to Matt, completely missed the conversation. Light returned with their coffee and the group got down to business sorting out L's birthday box. The box now contained the following:

A letter and card from Light, Beyond, Matt, Mello, Laura, Sayu, and Light's mum and Dad. 

A small mountain of sweets from the Yagamis. 

Beautifully decorated homemade Panda cookies in a sealed Tupperware box from Laura. 

A teddy bear from Sayu. 

A  _ real _ ring from Light. 

Comics from Matt and Mello. 

A pile of memes they'd made and printed off of Roger (Lights favourite was the one where Roger's face had been photoshopped onto an elephant) 

And finally, the new 'Screaming Blue Murder' album from Beyond. 

"This is awesome" Mello declared proudly, "He's going to love it"

"Just one thing missing" Light murmured, eyes drifting to his notebook.  _ 'I don't care how long it takes, I am getting that poem finished today and it's going in the box!' _

Beyond moaned and took a long sip of coffee. He had a feeling it was going to be a  _ long  _ day… 

*******************

Meanwhile, blissfully unaware of Light's writing woes, L was sat in his morning  _ group _ therapy session. Somehow he'd found himself  _ comfortable _ enough around his peers to attend group sessions, something that had pleased and delighted Watari and the staff at the Meadows. 

L sat quietly as he listened to a girl called Merry talk about her triggers. She'd had a bad day yesterday but L had cheered her up by offering her some of his cake. L liked Merry, she was a gentle, soft spoken girl and she reminded him of Laura.

The Meadows specialized in Trauma and what poor Merry had endured was the very definition of the word. She'd been abused by her older brother and, after many years of trying to speak out, had finally been taken into care. Her parents had been prosecuted but the damage had been done. At just fourteen she had had no choice but to abort her brother's (rapists) baby. 

"Thank you, Merry" The kind faced lady fronting the group session smiled at her encouragingly, "We are all here for you, Love, and it was very brave of you to share"

Merry smiled and reached for L's hand. Without hesitation, L held it. He had already decided when he did leave the Meadows he was going to keep in touch with Merry. She was from France, that wasn't terribly far away. Maybe he could even visit her? 

"L? Would you like to share anything?" 

L thought for a moment before he nodded. "I keep having dreams where my boyfriend is shot in front of me. Like what happened when we were little"

Understanding murmurs rang out and the Therapy leader gently reminded L to practice his meditation before sleep, knowing it was something L struggled with. L said he'd try and smiled as Merry gently squeezed his hand in encouragement. 

He'd scoffed, screamed and cried during his first week at the Meadows but now he realised it was something he needed to do and that Light and his father had been right.

He  _ was _ getting better. Loud noises didn't startle him as much. He found it easier to open up to people. He didn't spend his waking moments picking himself apart with guilt and self-loathing anymore. He felt hope for the future. 

After therapy, L and Merry went for a walk in the nearby woods and chatted about L's upcoming birthday. 

"Usually I'd spend it with Light and the gang. Watch some movies and gorge myself on Halloween candy" L sighed, looking up at the swirls of red and gold leaves as they rained down. "It's going to be tough, Merry, not having Light here"

"I know, L, but you will have us, and next year you will be with him again" Despite the awful life she had lived, Merry was something of an optimist and L had learned much from her. She was an inspiration to him. If she could see light in the darkness then anyone could. 

"You're right. And i'll be able to speak to him" L smiled, "Besides, I will have  _ you _ to spend my birthday with this year"

"Mmhmm. I've already gone through my horror collection and bought some candy for us" Merry's smile was bright and infectious, "I know it won't quite be the same but I will do my best to make it a good one!"

_ 'I really don't deserve you, Merry' _ L thought, touched by his friend's kindness. They held hands as they walked through the woods, two wounded souls finding peace and healing in one another… 

************************

October 31st dawned and Light was up early, eagerly awaiting L's phone call. 

He didn't have to wait long. He snatched up his phone at the first ring and felt his breath catch in his throat at how  _ happy  _ L looked. The blue had faded from his hair, as had the dark circles beneath his eyes. His pale skin glowed with health and Light beamed at him. 

"Happy birthday, Beautiful" Light cooed, "You look so gorgeous"

L flushed pink, wondering why Light was saying that considering he was sporting a bedhead and his scruffy sweats.  _ 'Guess beauty really is in the eye of the beholder!' _

"Had the post yet?" Light asked with a twinkle in his eye. 

"No! Did you send me something? You  _ did _ , didn't you? What is it?" L was excitable as a child, his face lit up with joy. 

"I'm not telling you" Light teased, reminded of when they'd been little and L had tried to find out what he was getting for his birthday, "You'll have to be patient"

"I'm not very good at that"

"I don't know, I think you're getting better" Light smiled, their situation not lost on him. "I really hope you like your surprise, we've been working on it for weeks"

L softened and lost his smile. "I'm going to find today hard. It isn't the same without you"

_ 'I know. You're my soulmate and when you come home I will be telling you that' _ Light smiled bravely, "You'll be okay, Babe, you're strong. Besides, you have your new friends to celebrate your birthday with"

"Yes, but they aren't  _ you.  _ Hmm, I wonder when the post will arrive? Can't you tell me  _ anything _ about my present? Please?" L wheedled, hoping the 'puppy eyes' wouldn't fail him. 

Light tried to hold firm, he really did, but he was powerless against 'the look'. "Oh, fine. I'll give you a clue about  _ my _ gift. It is something new but something old. It's a promise for the future"

L frowned, his mind racing as he tried to decipher the riddle. "Something new but something old" he pondered aloud, "That's a tough one"

Light smirked, "I know. Any guesses?"

"A snowglobe?" L asked, glancing at the time weathered ornament on his bedside table. He'd kept to his promise and cherished it from the day Light had given it to him, all those years ago. 

"Nope"

"Dammit it" L muttered. What could it be? He absentmindedly twirled the fraying rope ring on his finger as he thought and Light's smile grew.

"L? Dear, you have post!" A soft knock on his door sounded and

L jumped up from his bed and, carrying his phone, raced to the door. Light snickered as he heard L's gasp of excitement as he was handed the box. 

"Happy birthday!" Light smiled. L put the phone on his bedside table so Light could watch him open his gifts. 

"Awesome" he breathed, as he uncovered Beyond's album. "Please tell him thank you. Thank everyone for me"

"I will. I know you always save the cards and letters to last, so please do the same this time. In fact, read them later?" Light was not going to suffer the embarrassment of L reading his poem in front of him, he'd even written a note on the envelope to hopefully prevent that, "Oh, and save my gift till last too"

L raised an eyebrow but nodded his head. "Alright then, I won't read whatever you've written in front of you" he said smugly, seeing straight through Light's excuse. 

_ 'Dammit. Sharp as ever' _ Light thought with a sheepish grin. 

"Awww" L admired the cookies Laura had made, "These look awesome. I'll share them with Merry later"

With whirlwind speed, L went through the pile of gifts until only Light's remained. L picked up the small square box and suddenly realised what he was holding. 

"A ring?" He whispered, heart racing at the thought of wearing an actual ring from Light. 

"Something old and something new. A promise for the future.  _ Our _ future. You're sixteen years old now, L, old enough to get engaged… if you'd like to?" Light whispered, praying L would say yes. 

L's eyes filled with tears. Light wanted to marry him! It didn't matter to him that they were so young, his heart was screaming at him that he'd found the one in Light Yagami. His wish had been granted. 

"Yes, I'll marry you! Again!" L ripped open the box and burst into tears at the sight of the simple but elegant silver band. Light chuckled at the 'again'. It seemed L would always believe they truly had married as kids. But who knew, perhaps they  _ had _ . They were destined to be together, weren't they? 

"Don't tell anyone it's an engagement ring" Light warned gently, "They wouldn't understand and would say we are too young, but that's what it is. It's my promise to you that when we are older I'm going to marry you. We will be together forever and always have one another's back, just like in the vows we made" 

L didn't care that he was a blubbering mess as he removed the thread ring and replaced it with silver. The metal felt  _ permanent,  _ and L swallowed thickly. He was wearing a  _ real  _ ring. He sniffed as he remembered the first time Light had put a ring, that silly candy ring, on his finger and the words they'd said:

_ "Now we have to promise to always be there for each other, no matter what. I vow that you will always be my best friend. I will always swap you my strawberry milk and stop Beyond being mean to you" _

Things had changed since then. Beyond had grown and matured into a kind, selfless boy and had been his first boyfriend and was now someone L felt fortunate to call his  _ friend _ . Light also  _ detested _ milk now. Life was funny like that. 

_ "And I vow to always swap you my plain milk. I promise to be there for you and help you plot ways to prank Roger and I swear you will always be my best friend until I'm dead. And then after that we will be ghost best friends!" _

Well. Not  _ everything  _ had changed. L was eagerly looking forward to returning home to prank Roger again, and Light would  _ always _ be his best friend. If an afterlife did exist (L wasn't sure anymore) then hell yes he'd still be Light's ghost best friend. 

And his  _ lover _ , because they were older now and knew the true meaning of the vows they'd spoken as children. 

"I love you, L" Light smiled tenderly at L, wishing they were together so he could kiss him. 

"I love you too" L whimpered, utterly overcome with emotion as he stared at his  _ engagement  _ ring. He knew he wasn't going to be able to take his eyes off it! It just felt so right to be wearing it. 

"I've got to get ready for school" Light muttered sadly, "But I will ring you again as soon as I get out"

"Okay" L's shoulders slumped. In just a few months it would be Light's birthday and they'd have to endure this bittersweet torment all over again. "Light…?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I tell Merry at least?"

Light laughed, having expected L to say that. "Of course, no one else though"

"Okay! I love you!"

After Light had hung up, L started on the letters and cards. As he promised, he saved Light's card until last. He put it up with the others and paused when a plain white envelope caught his eye. He picked it up and turned it over. 

_ To my Beloved L, to be read  _ **_only_ ** _ at bedtime on October 31st. Seriously, no peeking!!  _

L was sorely tempted to open it, curiosity was  _ burning _ through him, but he resisted. It felt  _ wrong _ somehow to defy Light's wishes. Excited, L placed the letter under his pillow and looked at the clock. Bedtime felt like a lifetime away! 

***********************

L had enjoyed his evening more than he'd thought. But finally it was bedtime. He crawled into bed and opened the envelope, his heart racing with excitment as he saw Light had written him a poem. 

_ There's something about you that makes my soul sing, my L,  _

_ It could be your laugh,  _

_ Or the way you smile,  _

_ But maybe it's just the knowledge you are mine.  _

_ You are my soulmate.  _

_ Your black hair, dark as night _

_ and starlight eyes captivate me,  _

_ But not nearly as much as that beautiful mind,  _

_ Your intelligence and strength inspire me _

_ And I will dedicate my life to you,  _

_ Because you are my soulmate  _

_ I want you today, tomorrow, Always.  _

L was in tears as he read and re-read the beautiful poem. He wiped them away to focus on the few lines beneath the poem:

_ 'Talk to your father about what I said, L, because you  _ **_are_ ** _ my soulmate. It is something they've kept from us and I've decided you deserve to know the truth' _

L grit his teeth in anger.  _ 'They knew? And they kept that from us?!' _

L curled up in bed and clutched at Light's poem. No wonder it hurt so fucking much to be seperated from Light. His soul was literally crying out for its mate. Suddenly a lot made sense and L found something in the darkness he thought he'd lost: a sense of purpose. 

He was going to get better and get back home to Light. He'd graduate and then they'd travel the world together. He'd paint and Light would be a policeman and maybe one day they'd even adopt children and settle down on a small holding… 

L smiled through his tears and went to sleep, dreams of the future burning brightly in his mind. 


	17. Sweet Sixteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another three months have passed and L and Light are battling teenage hormones and separation anxiety. At breaking point, a meeting is allowed and L and Light are excited to see one another again. Their relationship takes an important turn as they begin to be sexual with one another via video call...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reunion next chapter! 😍 for now, enjoy the angst, fluff and rather PG rated smut 💖

Turning Sixteen meant a few changes for Light. It meant he could stay out later if he wanted to, it meant he was expected to start saving some of his allowance for his future and it also meant he was perpetually  _ horny.  _

Light wouldn't say he was getting tired of wanking (he was a teenage boy, of course he wasn't) it was just hard and frustrating (puns intended) to feel this way without L. L was feeling like it too and they'd even tentatively dipped their toe into explicit texts to try and bridge the gap between them. It had mixed results. Light had been left hard and aching after L fell asleep one night and the next time they'd tried it… 

Well. Both boys were satisfied with the results. Now they were plucking up the courage to send intimate pictures to each other. 

L wouldn't be home for another six long months and Light was getting desperate. He'd never cheat on L, even if Misa offered to blow him behind the bike shed again, but with all the hormones flooding through him it was certainly difficult to resist temptation at times. 

As if his frustration was obvious, he was getting asked out left right and center at school. Girls  _ and _ boys were making a play for him and although he was rather flattered, Light turned each person down with a loyalty to L his friends found endearing. 

"Urgh" Light groaned as he received yet  _ another _ 'Will you go out with me?' note from a girl in his maths class. Mello snickered and hastily scrawled 'No. Soz!' on the note before passing it back. 

"Thanks" Light muttered, resting his chin in the palm of his hand and staring out of the window gloomily. It was raining.  _ Again _ . Without L to spend Christmas and New Year with, this winter seemed to have lasted  _ forever _ . 

"Hey, not too much longer now, Mate" Mello encouraged. 

"Easy for you to say when you and Matt are at it like rabbits!" Light hissed, jealous at Matt and Mello. Hell, even Beyond and Laura had gotten to second base! He just wanted to kiss his soulmate, was that such a goddamn  _ crime _ ?! 

Mello grinned lavisciously. "Heh, what can I say?"

"Is there a problem, Mr Yagami? Mr Kheel?" Roger drawled, not surprised to find Light and Mello whispering to one another as they were so prone to do in his class. 

_ 'Yes, there is a problem. I'm getting fifty billion erections a day and my Soulmate is in another bloody country so I can't even fucking kiss him!' _

Light kept his face blank and neutral, knowing it pissed the grumpy teacher off like nothing else. "No problem, Sir. Sorry?" It wasn't much of an apology, and Mello snickered, sealing their fate. 

_ 'Fuck sake' _ Light thought as he and Mello were swiftly issued with a detention. He glanced at the clock with a sigh. Five more hours until he could ring L… 

*************************

Watari, meanwhile, was patiently listening to L's woes and they were of a similar matter to Light's. The boys were pining for each other intensely and unfortunately that meant whoever was close to them had to deal with it. 

He'd taken L out for a stroll in the park but even the change of scenery was distracting L from missing Light. 

"It's just not fair. I can't even kiss him, Dad, and he's my  _ Soulmate _ . I know I'm getting better at the Meadows but can't he visit for like a weekend or something? Please? It won't distract me, I promise. We'll even leave the door open, just please let me see Light"

Watari massaged his temple. "L, we've been through this-"

"I  _ know _ that, but it isn't fair!" L snapped, kicking a pebble petulantly. He felt a bit guilty as the pebble flew across the ground and startled a group of pigeons. Oops. 

_ 'Life isn't fair, my child, welcome to the world of adulthood' _ Watari thought wryly, letting L have his little strop. Teenage hormones were hitting hard now and he found them exhausting to bear the brunt off. Had he been this bad when he was a young man? He didn't think so, but then he couldn't really remember. 

Actually, he did remember wanting desperately to sneak out at night to kiss a lovely girl namedJane when he'd been grounded… in fact, he  _ had _ sneaked out and ended up doing a lot more than just kissing. His father had been furious! His mother had called him a 'scoundrel' but had it been worth it? 

Oh, yes… 

_ 'Okay, so I see his point. Perhaps one little visit would be allowed?' _

"L, I could  _ ask _ the staff if they would permit a visit during spring term-" Watari began, not wanting L to get his hopes up. Of course, that is exactly what L did. 

"Will you? Please, Dad!" L turned two, pleading eyes to Watari and utilized them to full, devastating, effect, "Please please  _ please _ !"

"I said I will  _ ask.  _ It really isn't up to me, L, you know that" Watari smiled, knowing full well he'd probably end up pleading on his son's behalf to get him what he wanted. 

L sighed. At least his dad would ask. That was something. "Okay. Thanks, Dad"

Watari nodded, wryly noting he'd been owned by 'the eyes' yet again. Would it lead to L getting a first car that was far too flashy and unsuitable for him? 

Possibly… 

"Shall we get a hot chocolate?" He asked, hoping to change the subject. 

"No. Light makes the best hot chocolates, and I can't drink it unless  _ he _ has made it" L was toying with that ring again. Watari knew what it signified but since L hadn't said anything he wasn't certain how to bring it up. 

_ 'They are going to marry eventually, it's their fate. While I don't agree with the secrecy they are teenage boys and they are clearly devoted to one another. Once L returns home we will need to sit them down and explain what marriage actually entails' _

"Right" Watari sighed. Light again. "Coffee?" He suggested, well past the point of wanting to tear his hair out. He understood L missed his Soulmate, he really did, but  _ everything _ seemed to have a link to Light, even the colour green for some reason! 

L made a face. "No thanks"

"Have you even  _ tried _ coffee, L?" Watari asked teasingly. 

L's nose wrinkled. "Well, no, but Roger  _ reeks _ of it and it's disgusting"

Watari had to laugh. Ah, Roger's reputation for coffee breath lived on indeed! "You can have hot chocolate mixed with coffee. It's called a Mocha, you might enjoy it and you won't 'reek' like Roger does" Watari nudged L's shoulder with his own playfully. 

L's eyes lit up. That sounded interesting! "Okay, i'll try it"

Watari smiled, pleased at his progress. It was babysteps, granted, but progress was progress in his opinion. Hopefully the meeting would be granted and he, Sachiko and Souichiro would get a little peace and quiet… 

**************************

Sachiko resisted the urge to roll her eyes as Light stormed in from school, the door banging behind him. 

"Hello, Dear, how was sch-"

"Detention. Again" Light muttered shortly, in no mood to talk to his mother. "Doing homework then ringing L, don't disturb me"

Sachiko held up her hands. "I'm fine, thank you for asking"

"I didn't" Light muttered, already making his way upstairs. "This is fucking  _ cruel _ , Mum. Maybe sending L away was a mistake after all!"

Sachiko bristeled. Good thing her husband wasn't home or there would be hell to pay. This swearing thing needed to stop.  _ Now _ . "Light Yagami-"

"Is pissed off!" Light yelled, tears of frustration in his eyes. He broke down, sobbing and curling up on the stairs and Sachiko's anger vanished in an instant. She flew to his side and pulled her son into her arms. 

"Oh, Sweetheart, I know it's hard, I really do" she cooed, running her fingers through his hair like she always used to. "It will be okay, Light, I promise you"

"I just want him back, Mum" Light's voice cracked with pain, "I'm trying so hard to get every day done, I'm marking them off on my calendar but there are still so many days left! It seems never ending. I can't sleep properly. I can't eat. I'm  _ aching _ for him"

Sachiko frowned. Light had a violet tinge beneath his eyes and as she pressed against him she could feel he had lost weight. This separation anxiety was causing her son to get  _ sick _ and she would not tolerate it.  _ 'Something needs to be done. I will ring Watari as soon as he's upstairs and try to make an arrangement with the clinic. L is getting on so well, surely they would allow a weekend break or something?' _

Sayu arrived with a cheery "Hey mum, what's for tea? I'm  _ starving _ " and Light angrily wiped at his tears. He did not want his little sister ripping into him for crying. He pulled away from his mother. 

"Dinner will be in an hour," Sachiko called as Light went upstairs. 

"Don't want it. I'm not hungry"

Que, door slam. 

Sachiko shut her eyes as she forced a smile to her face for Sayu's benefit. "Hello, Dear, how was school…"

In the privacy of his room, Light wept bitterly. He didn't fling himself to his bed (that was too dramatic, even for him) but he did rant and rave about how unfair the entire universe was. 

Inspiration struck and Light did something he rarely ever did anymore. He rang his Granny. 

"Hello?" Uma Yagami sounded confused. What was Light doing ringing her? Was it even Light? She vaguely recognized the number… 

"Granny" Light sobbed, "Am I going to see him again?"

"Oh, Darling, of course you will and very soon actually. I had a dream that you and L were walking around a park the other day. German sign and all, so chin up, Dear boy, you will receive good news soon"

"You're not just saying that, are you?" Light asked, hope springing up and surging through him at the thought of seeing L again. 

"No! I was actually going to send one of those textual messages to you" Uma defended herself, "But then I realised I haven't saved your number so I was going to tell your mother to tell you and-"

"Thanks, Granny, love you!" Light abruptly ended the call and swiftly rang L. 

"Light!" L sounded excited and Light perked up, thrilled to hear L sounding so positive. 

"Baby, I miss you" Light sat down on his bed as he murmured their customary greeting. 

"I miss you too, but guess what?"

"What?"

"Guess!"

"L, you  _ know _ I hate it when you do that" Light tried to sound annoyed but he couldn't. Secretly he  _ loved _ it when L did that. 

"Dad spoke to the manager of the clinic. They're allowing me to take a weekend break in spring term!"

"That's great, any plans for it-" Light sighed, glad for L and all but not really seeing what his point was. 

"With  _ you,  _ you dummy!"

"What?! Really?!" Light yelped, a shiver running down his spine.  _ 'Granny was right again!' _

"Yes! Can you come to Germany for the 12th of March?"

"Does a bear shit in the woods? Of course I can! Oh god, L, I can't wait to see you" Light was sobbing freely and that set L off too. They tried to talk through their tears and plan Light's visit, but the call was interrupted by L's therapist sternly reminding him he had a session  _ five minutes ago _ . 

"I have to go. I'll face time you at nine" L's voice was thick with emotion, "I love you so much, Light!"

Light whispered he loved L too before ending the call and racing downstairs to tell his mother about the  _ miracle _ that had just happened. 

***********************

Sachiko was thrilled to see her son eat with gusto that night. He even had seconds. Suddenly she realised just why it was called 'love sickness'. Being seperated from L had taken its toll on Light and now with the prospect of being reunited once again Light was acting himself once again.

"I've spoken to Watari. He will be handling the accommodation. I've got holidays I need to use up so work shouldn't be a problem" Souichiro smiled as he helped himself to more mashed potatoes, "I'm happy for you, Son, this visit is a really good idea"

"Right?" Sayu piped up, "Weekend break to Germany! Woo!"

Sachiko beamed, happy that her family were happy. "Im rather looking forward to it. We'll have to start planning right away, we have a lot to pack into three days"

"I won't be sightseeing much," Light warned, "Unless L wants to," he added, just in case L did fancy doing some touristy stuff. 

"No, you'll be too busy kissing L.  _ Smooooch! _ " Sayu giggled, giving Light a kissy face. 

Light scowled at her. Surely he hadn't been so  _ obnoxious _ at her age?! 

"Now, now" Sachiko played referee, "Don't tease your brother, Sayu, and Light, don't scowl at your sister"

Light shrugged, "Hard not to"

"Dad!" Sayu yelled, "Light's being mean!"

"I was being sarcastic, actually" Light smirked at his little sister, "Something  _ kids _ like you wouldn't understand"

"Light" Souichiro said sternly, immediately making his son fall silent. 

Sachiko sighed and reached for her wine glass.  _ 'Roll on Germany!' _ she thought. 

The rest of dinner went smoothly enough, apart from Light and Sayu bickering as siblings did. Light surprised and delighted his mother by even eating dessert and spending some time with his father talking about cases. 

The upcoming visit to Germany seemed to have injected some life back into the Yagami household and when Light announced he was going upstairs to study, Sachiko watched him leave with a smile. Sayu was already going through her wardrobe, excitedly texting her friends about the upcoming trip. 

It had been a tough six months, but Sachiko Yagami knew things were going to be okay. 

************************

Light could barely concentrate on his homework, but it didn't really matter much since he found it easy. He rushed through it and drummed his fingers with impatience. It was still only eight pm! 

He took a shower (forgoing jerking off in case L wanted to sext again later) and occupied himself by reading. Finally it was nine pm. Their time. 

The phone rang and Light snatched it up, accepting L's video call with a racing heart and a radiant smile. 

"Light, I miss you"

Light sighed. "I miss you too, L, are you okay?"

"Yes" L was already tucked up in bed, "I'm so excited about next month, Light, I can't stop thinking about kissing you again"

Light felt a flare of heat shoot through him at the words. " _ Just _ kissing?" He teased, wondering how far L wanted to take things. They'd barely had the chance to acknowledge their feelings for one another before L left. They hadn't really talked about  _ this _ side of their relationship before. 

L flushed. "No… other things too" he admitted coyly. 

"What other things?" Light asked, settling against the cushions and making himself comfortable. He had a feeling this conversation was going to be interesting. 

"Don't make me  _ say  _ it!" L squealed. 

_ 'Awww. He's embarrassed. So cute!' _ Light grinned at L's blush. "Shall I tell you what I'd like to do to you instead?" He asked, naturally taking the lead. 

L nodded, his blush deepening. 

"I want to jerk you off. Watch your gorgeous face as you come. And I want to suck your dick and make you scream in pleasure too. I bet you'd taste  _ sweet _ "

" _ Light!" _ L sounded scandalized, but he was glowing with happiness. 

"What? I do. Is it too much?" Light asked, wondering if he'd pushed too far. He knew for a fact L and Beyond had done that stuff… 

"I want that too" L mumbled shyly, "I can't stop thinking about it"

"Really?" Light murmured, his cock twitching. "L… I really want to touch you"  _ 'Fuck, I really want to touch myself…' _

L sighed. "I want to touch you as well. Should… should I show you mine? I'm… hard" L admitted bashfully. 

"Yes, show me" Light hurriedly yanked his duvet down to expose the hard bulge in his boxers. "I'm hard just talking to you, Baby" he admitted, lust roughening his voice. L thought it was the sexiest thing he'd ever heard and showed off his own arousal that was tenting his pajama bottoms. 

"Light… Show me how hard you are too?"

Light fumbled with his boxers and inched them down his hips, exposing his hard cock.

"Fuck" L breathed. Obviously he'd seen it before (they'd bathed together as kids) but that was different. Light was his  _ Soulmate _ and that hardness between his legs was something he wanted desperately. One day it would fit  _ inside _ him… 

"So big" L murmered, both thrilled and a little intimidated that Light was so well endowed. 

"Bigger than Beyond?" 

L snorted, "Like I'm telling  _ you _ that"

"Aw…" Light cleared his throat, suddenly feeling awkward that  _ he _ was the only one with his junk hanging out. "Show me yours?"

"O-okay" L pulled down his pajama pants, his face flaming red. He felt more nervous than he ever had with Beyond.  _ 'But then he isn't literally destined for me. This is different' _ L reminded himself. 

"L…" Light groaned, "Oh fuck, I want you so bad"

L bit his lip, hoping Light would suggest jerking off together. They'd tentatively broached the subject but he didn't have the confidence to suggest it. Light was the confident one and he was relaying on Light taking the lead as he always did. 

Light did not disappoint. 

"Do you want to jerk off together?" Light asked huskily, eyes fixed on L's hardness. 

"Yes…"

*************************

Later, L lay in bed with a sleepy, satisfied smile on his face.

The expression on Light's face as he'd come was etched into his memory and L replayed it over and over, knowing he'd never get enough of seeing it. Light would be his first and  _ only _ lover in the truest sense of the word. He would lose his virginity to Light and Light would lose his to him. Now that they knew they loved one another, no one could ever come between them again. 

_ 'I love him and he loves me' _ L thought,  _ 'I'm going to be with my lover soon' _

That sweet thought was enough to send him to sleep with very sweet dreams indeed… 


	18. Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L and Light are reunited!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've deliberately been very vague when it comes to the smut scene in this chapter for the simple reason they are Sixteen and I don't feel comfortable writing graphic smut between them at this age. The smut will happen later when they are a bit older! For now, enjoy the reunion :)

The day had finally arrived. After weeks of excited counting down, Light and L would finally reunite. Neither could sleep from excitement the night before and Light spent every second of the plane journey barely able to keep still. It had been six long, painful months without his soulmate by his side, and even though Light knew it would be tough to leave him once again, it wouldn't be so bad. Because L would be coming home at the end of it and then they'd be together once more.

"Wow!" Sayu gasped as she stared out of the plane window, "Germany is so pretty!"

Light had to agree with her. They were flying over a forest region and the sight of all those evergreen trees warmed his heart. L had sent him lots of photos of himself and Merry's adventures out in such woods.

It reminded him of their younger days when he and L would lose themselves playing pirates and detectives in their local wood. Things had been simpler back then, that was for sure. 

"We will be landing soon, Watari and L are meeting us at the airport" Sachiko smiled at her excited children, "Ohh, look at that lake!" Sachiko whipped out her camera to snap a photo of it. 

For once Light and Sayu didn't squabble and Souichiro basked in the peace and quiet. He actually managed to read his entire newspaper before the plane began its descent and chaos resumed. Sayu had lost her phone (it was in her pocket) and Light was stressing because his hair wasn't perfect. The parents gave each other wry looks and reminded themselves this was  _ supposed _ to be a relaxing break. 

"Your hair looks  _ stupid _ " Sayu poked her tongue out at Light as he hastily primped imaginary flaws. 

"Well, your  _ face _ looks stupid" Light retorted with a smirk. 

"Kids!" Sachiko snapped, feeling an odd sadness take over her. Soon she wouldn't be able to say that. Light was fast becoming a  _ man _ and in moments like this it was blatantly obvious her little boy had grown. Light gave her a handsome smile and Sachiko forced one in return.  _ 'He's seeing his soulmate after six months. We need to find a quiet moment to discuss sleeping arrangements and… protection. Oh god, I can't believe I'm even thinking this!' _

As Sayu and Light were busy squabbling, she turned to her husband and whispered about their dilema. Predictably, Souichiro was red-faced with denial. "They are still  _ boys _ , Sachiko!" he hissed softly, "Children!"

Light looked up from his phone with a knowing look on his face. "If you're talking about L and I, we  _ are _ sharing a room, Dad"

"Now look here-"

"He is my Soulmate and I will spend the night with him even if it means scaling the walls of the hotel to get to his room or breaking his door down. Seriously, Dad, don't even try and stop it from happening because it  _ is _ happening!" Light's eyes were grave and determined and the two stubborn Yagami males glared at one another in defiance. 

Sayu looked between them with wide eyes. Sachiko stared mournfully at her empty wine glass. 

"Ahem. The plane is due to land shortly" a stewardess gave an awkward smile, really wishing she hadn't been privy to the disagreement. 

"Thanks" Light smiled brightly and grabbed his bags. The argument was settled as far as he was concerned. 

But it _wasn't_ as far as Souichiro was concerned. He grumbled to his wife as they disembarked and resolved to have a word with Watari to set things straight. 

However, that would have to wait. L and Watari were waiting in the arrivals lounge and Light bolted over to L and wrapped him up in his arms. It softened Souichiro's heart to see Light pepper L's face with kisses. 

"I've missed you! I've missed you!" Light cried, tears running down his nose, "Oh god, I've  _ missed _ you!"

L was in a similar state and was clutching at Light desperately, his own tears falling freely. "I can't believe you're here" L buried his face into Light's neck and breathed him in, "Oh fuck, Light, I'm so happy!"

_ 'I suppose it can wait until later' _ Souichiro conceded, letting the boys have their moment. 

They clung to one another and it appeared as though nothing would part them. Even Sayu didn't tease about the kisses and tears and watched them quietly, wondering what it would feel like to love someone  _ that _ much. Hopefully one day she would find out for herself. 

As the boys were absorbed with one hugging, kissing and catching up with one another, Souichiro, Sachiko and Watari settled down for a coffee and chat. Souichiro found himself unable to leave his concerns until later and asked Watari plainly what the sleeping arrangements would be. Sayu pretended to be engrossed by her phone but was naturally following along with avid interest. 

"I should imagine the boys will want to be together, Souichiro" Watari said kindly, understanding the other dad's reservations, "I initially said no when L mentioned it but they are  _ sixteen _ now. They won't be parted and we will only be causing trouble for ourselves if we attempt it. I've… spoken to L about using protection and… " Watari trailed off, clearly uncomfortable where this conversation was headed. It was easy to  _ say _ they were growing up but another thing entirely to  _ accept _ it. 

Souichiro's face hardened. "Light said he'd scale the walls and break down L's door if he had to"

Watari had to laugh at that because L had said something similar. 

The conversation ended abruptly when L and Light, hand clasped, walked over to them. L greeted Sachiko with a warm hug and Sachiko enfolded him in her arms.  _ 'Still far too skinny' _ she thought, making a mental note to send L more care packages. 

"Hello, Sayu" L greeted Light's sister kindly, smiling as she bounced over to him for a hug. 

"L! I've missed you" Sayu pecked his cheek, causing Light to narrow his eyes in irritation. He knew it was harmless enough but still. L was  _ his _ … 

"I've missed you too. How's school?"

Light left L and his sister to catch up and gave his father a pointed, expectant look. 

"Yes, yes, alright" Souichiro sighed heavily, "You and L can share a room"

Light smiled brightly. "Thank you" he said, even though he would have done it anyway. 

They left the airport and traveled to the hotel. The sun was setting and spilled the last of its light across a beautiful pink evening sky. Sachiko insisted everyone unpack before dinner so they could go sightseeing, but L and Light stated firmly they wouldn't be going. 

They'd already planned their reunion evening and neither had sightseeing on the agenda. L had secured a bottle of Watari's red wine and they planned on having a romantic meal together. Both boys were excited because they knew they were going to be intimate together for the first time, and they shared secret little smiles throughout dinner as they eagerly anticipated the evening to come. 

Neither L or Light ate much (they planned on ordering a room service banquet) and firmly declined the invitation to go to the evening market and a river boat ride with the others. Sensing there was little point in persuading them otherwise, the adults and Sayu left to go on their excursion without them, but not before extracting a promise from L and Light that they would 'be careful' and come sightseeing the next day. Just to get rid of them faster, L and Light agreed. 

Once they were alone, they rushed to their room, feeling very grown up as Light swiped the key card and let them inside. Their mouths feasted on one another's hungrily, eager hands exploring under one another's shirts with passion but a degree of uncertainty too. They smiled at each other, acknowledging their nervousness. The door closed softly behind them and L and Light lost themselves to each other, their months of longing pouring out as their tongues twined and dueled gently. Light cupped L's ass and brought their groins together making both boys groan and shudder with want. 

"We should eat something first" Light mumbled against L's lips, "I want this to be special"

L smiled and nodded his head. So did he. He'd been dreaming of this night for weeks. Light extracted himself from L's arms before things got  _ too _ heated and went to order room service while L lit some candles and poured them a glass of wine. He surveyed the scene with satisfaction. 

It had started to rain and the gentle pattering against the window provided a perfect accompaniment to the romantic scene. He'd scattered the candles around on the bedside table and chest of drawers, thinking how much nicer it would be if they had a proper dining table. 

One day they would live together and have a proper romantic dinner with fancy candles and an actual table, L decided. For now, a small hotel room and a few cheap rose scented candles from the gift shop would just have to do. It was perfect in its own simple way. 

"Dinner will be half an hour. I ordered us some chicken stir fry with honey and ginger" Light reported, knowing that was one actual meal L would enjoy eating. He'd asked for extra honey, just to get L to actually eat his veggies. 

L raised an eyebrow. "And…?"

"Oh, and some strawberry cheesecake, an entire black forest gateaux and some creme brulee" Light added with a grin.  _ 'Sorry, Dad' _ he thought, wincing at the row he was probably going to get when his dad got the bill. Oh well, it would be worth it he reasoned. 

L smiled. "That's more like it!"

_ 'Definitely worth it' _ Light thought as he admired the smile that lit up L's face. 

They passed the time by talking and sipping their wine. 

"How's Matt and Mello?" L asked. Of course he knew how his friends were, he wrote to them regularly, it was just nice to hear about them from Light. 

"They're great! Both have a  _ months _ worth of detention for printing out memes of Roger as a camel and sticking them to the lockers all around school"

L giggled, feeling a small pang of wistfulness. Soon he'd be going home and he could see his friends and prank Roger again. 

"Urgh" L scrunched up his nose but took another, larger sip of his wine. It wasn't so bad if he just gulped it down. It was starting to taste rather good by the time he'd finished his glass. His cheeks flushed with colour and he giggled as he felt light headed. 

Light thought it was adorable but cautioned L to take it easy until he'd eaten something. Light was sipping his slowly, amused at how giggly L was after just one glass of wine.

Their food arrived and L and Light balanced their feast on the bed, tucking in with relish. The small mountain of food was soon demolished, no match for two teenaged boys appatities. Both L and Light were eager to get their meal finished so they could move on to other, more pleasant things, but both were feeling nervous by the time they'd finished eating. 

"That was so good" L sighed as he finished off the last of the creme brulee. Light flushed at the sight of L licking cream off his fingers and his thoughts went from X-Rated to 'in the gutter' in two seconds flat when L let out a sultry sounding moan. 

_ 'Oh god. I want that to be  _ **_my_ ** _ cream he's licking off his fingers!' _

Light cringed at the thought and hastily finished off his wine. The room temperature seemed to sky rocket all of a sudden and the way L was looking at him was making him hard. He bit his lip and 'casually' plopped a cushion over his lap. 

The sexual tension hung thickly in the room as both boys sipped at their wine and undressed one another with their eyes. Suddenly they didn't want to talk about their friends. The soft candlelight, the wine, and the look of longing in their eyes made it clear what they wanted. 

"L" Light whispered, the tension near boiling point, "I want you…"

"I want you too" L shifted closer, somehow looking both alluring and shy, "Light… I… I'm nervous" he admitted softly, "I know we did stuff over facetime but… "

Light smiled and reached for L's hand. "I know. I am too. My heart's pounding" he pointedly looked down at the cushion, "And other things"

L laughed shakily, "Glad I'm not the only one" he squeezed Light's hand before cheekily pulling the cushion away and throwing it on the floor. He gave Light an expectant look. 

_ 'Ah, he wants me to lead' _

Well, That was what he was good at. Light leaned forward and wrapped his arms around L's shoulders. Light smiled and immediately sought out L's lips, shivering as L clambered into his lap to deepen the kiss. 

They both shuddered at the sensation of their erections brushing together and L broke the kiss to muffle his moan into Light's shoulder. 

"L" LIght rasped, his cock throbbing at the sensation, "Can I touch you?"

L nodded his head and bit his lip, his breath catching in his throat as Light reached down to gently cup the bulge in his trousers. Somehow it felt like the first time he'd ever been touched and he whined low in his throat as pleasure clouded his mind. 

Emboldened by L's response, Light cupped that tempting ass and squeezed it. L felt a flare of heat race up his spine and clutched at Light harder as his boyfriend brought both hands to his bottom and squeezed it. 

"Fuck" Light cursed softly. 

They fumbled with taking their clothes off and once fully naked they did nothing but stare at one another for several long seconds. L couldn't quite believe this was happening. It felt like he was seeing Light for the very first time and the hardness standing tall and proud between his legs made him ache with longing. It simply felt  _ right _ to be naked in his arms, and L knew it  _ was _ right. His eyes lingered on the scar on Light's stomach. It was physical proof of just how much Light loved him. Light had nearly died for him when they were just children. It awed him to think about that because despite all their troubles and the bumps on the way, Light had always loved him with a fierceness that made him feel truly safe. 

Light was thinking similar thoughts to L as he slowly traced his fingers over smooth white skin. He mapped out the plains of L's chest before finding himself once again distracted by L's ass. What would it feel like to push inside L's body? Light longed to find out. He suspected it would be warm, tight and perfect… 

_ 'But he might not be ready for that yet' _ Light reminded himself, slipping one hand from L's ass, up his back and gently cradling his neck. "What do you want to do, Love?"

L bit his lip in uncertainty. He didn't want to disappoint Light (he'd noted how fixated Light was on his ass, it was hard not to!) but he didn't want to go 'all the way yet'. Watari had given him a condom and some lubrication (and how mortified he'd been!) but he simply didn't feel ready for that yet. "Light" he whispered, knowing it was best if he was truthful, "I… I don't feel ready to do  _ it _ yet" he confessed. He knew Light's sexual history and he hadn't ventured further than blowjobs. Losing one's virginity was something special and L sensed now wasn't the time for it. 

"Then we won't. There's no rush and I would never pressure you" Light pressed a sweet kiss to L's lips. 

"You're not disappointed?"

"I'd only be disappointed if you lied to me and did something you weren't comfortable with" Light reassured, his eyes shining with earnestness. "We have our whole lives together, Baby, there's no rush" he repeated softly, leaving little kisses on L's neck. He could feel the pulse fluttering wildly beneath his lips and L smelt like sugar. He knew he was addicted to him in that moment and he felt a well of happiness bubble up inside him. L was his best friend, would always be his best friend, but now there was so much more between them. 

"Maybe we could do what we did on facetime?" L murmured into Light's ear, eager to see that beautiful face break down with pleasure in person. 

"Mmm, definitely" Light pulled L down onto the bed and attacked his lips, their bodies automatically slotting together as they rubbed their aching erections against one another's bellies. Nervousness vanished as they lost themselves to the bond only they could share. Clinging on to one another, they let instinct take over and drowned in a pleasure so sweet it brought tears to their eyes… 

*******************

Breakfast the next morning was interesting. Souichiro kept giving the boys odd glances which they returned with smug smiles. The atmosphere was strained as the adults couldn't help but wonder if the boys had been fully intimate with one another. Of course no one dared to ask outright, but the looks they were sharing was enough to make Watari feel distinctly uncomfortable. It seemed his little boy was a boy no longer… 

Of course, they hadn't lost their virginity (having decided to wait until they'd finished school and were formally engaged), but L and Light were enjoying the awkwardness too much to actually tell their parents that just yet. After jerking one another off they'd rested and L had taken the initiative and went down on Light. Light had swiftly returned the favour and both boys had been left shaken at how intense it was. They'd hardly slept and spent the night exploring one another's bodies until every beauty mark, every blemish, was catalogued firmly in their mind never to be forgotten. 

_ That _ was the reason Light had a goofy grin on his face as he overfilled his tea cup, lost in very happy memories.  _ 'The things he does with his tongue…' _ Light knew he was a few thoughts away from sporting a rather awkward boner at the breakfast table but he couldn't stop thinking about it! Especially when L him looking, made smoldering eye contact and licked  _ cream _ from his fingers! 

"Light!" Sachiko swiftly grabbed the tea cup to save her rather distracted son from burning himself. 

"Sorry" Light murmured, his eyes still fixed on L and staring at him hungrily. L shared a naughty smile, knowing what had gotten Light so uncharacteristically flustered.  _ 'This is so brilliant! I'm going to tease him all the time now!' _

_ 'Oh god, and this is only the beginning!' _ Sachiko thought as she clocked the lingering stares between the pair of young lovebirds.  _ 'Parting after this is going to be even more difficult for them' _

But that worry could wait for another day. For now, her family were together and they had a fun day packed with sightseeing and activities to look forward to… 


	19. Growing up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang are shaken as things change and unexpected challenges arise during their last term at Wammy's. Difficult, life changing decisions are made for Beyond and Laura, as well as L and Light...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a shorter chapter than usual as I've gotten to the point in this fic where I'm preparing for L to come home (next chapter!) So it's basically just a filler!

Leaving L wasn't easy and even now, three weeks later, Light was still reeling from that devastated look in his soulmates dark eyes. Being intimate with one another had made the separation harder, and yet at the same time it had given them the strength needed to endure the final six months. They spoke about their future and found strength in their shared dreams. L's physical and mental health were improving daily and Light was proud of him. That made the separation easier to bear as well. 

It was their final term in school before the daunting prospects of college or six form loomed, and it upset Light that L would have to make his decision away from the gang. 

He knew L would choose to go to college to study art and that meant automatically he too would be going to college but Matt, Mello, Laura and Beyond were planning on staying at Wammy's. The end of year dance was coming up but a date hadn't been decided yet. Light prayed L would be home in time to go. If he wasn't, Light would not attend. There was no one else he wanted to hold and kiss under the gaudy glitter ball. 

_ 'That dance might be the last time the whole gang's together for awhile…'  _ It was a painful realisation and Light tried not to dwell on it as he went about his day. It was difficult, however, as it seemed like his life had suddenly shifted. Gone were the balmy summer days when he didn't have a care in the world. Now he was thinking about his future,  _ their _ future, and all the challenges that lay ahead of them. 

_ 'I wonder what the future will bring for us? I know L and I will be married but what about the others? Will Matt and Mello still be together? Laura and Beyond? It's scary… everything is about to change' _

"Psst. Light"

Light flinched, startled from his thoughts and glanced at Matt. He accepted the small note from him and read it. 

_ 'Have you seen B or Laura today? Takada is saying she overheard Laura crying in the girls bathroom earlier…' _

Light frowned. He hadn't seen them, save for spotting Beyond heading to art class. Now that he thought about it, Beyond had looked a little… off… 

_ 'No. Have you tried texting them? We're supposed to be meeting for lunch at the fountain, we will find out what's going on then' _

Light hastily scribbled his reply, an uneasy feeling in his belly. Beyond and Laura seemed devoted to one another. Surely they hadn't split up? 

It was just another worry to add to his already overworked mind and Light spent the rest of History class staring out of the window in thought. 

As soon as class ended the gang met up at the fountain and Light's stomach dropped at how pale Laura appeared. Her eyes were rimmed with red, a clear indication she'd been crying recently. Awkwardly, Beyond was standing beside her and holding her hand. So they hadn't split up, then, but there was definitely something big going on. 

"What's going on?" Light asked bluntly. 

Beyond and Laura shared a look. Laura bit her lip and shook her head as she struggled to find the right words. 

"Laura…" Matt murmured, his eyes widening when he realised what was going on. He'd seen that look before. "Shit. You're preggers, aren't you?"

Laura burst into tears and nodded her head. "Two months" she whispered, one hand drifting to her still flat belly and resting against it. 

"Holy  _ fuck _ " Mello whispered. If someone had told him 17 year old Laura, the consummate good girl of Wammy's, would be pregnant before graduation he would have laughed his ass off. Somehow, though, that was exactly what had happened. 

"It was a mistake" Laura whimpered, "My b-birth control failed. I've been on those antibiotics for my throat and…"

Light got up and enfolded his friend into his arms. "It's alright, Laura, none of us are judging you. I know this is a huge shock but have you guys thought about what you are going to do?"

Laura whimpered and clutched at Light's shoulders. She and Beyond had only found out that morning after Beyond had bought her a pregnancy test and insisted she take it. Now… well, now she wasn't sure what to do. The only certainty she felt was that this baby was hers and she was having it, come what may. 

"Yes. We're speaking to Laura's parents tonight" Beyond blinked back tears at the sight of his girlfriend so distressed and Light was stunned to see the normally composed boy struggling, "We're keeping the baby"

No one knew quite what to say. In the distance, a car horn blared, shattering the silence. 

"But… a baby?" Mello finally whispered, "How will you manage? You haven't even finished school yet"

"I know! Fuck, I know that, okay?" Beyond hissed, his red eyes flashing with fear and anger, "But the alternative is to… I can't even say it. I'm dropping out of school and joining my father's company. I need to provide for the baby and I can't do it while I'm here"

Light slowly sat down on the ledge of the fountain.  _ 'Oh shit. What is L going to think when he hears about this? Life is always changing but when it changes  _ **_this_ ** _ fast it's more than scary. It's fucking  _ **_terrifying_ ** _ …' _

"Beyond… Laura. I think I speak for everyone when I say this is a bolt from the blue but we are with you. 100%. We will be with you and the baby" Light reached for Beyond's hand and clasped his hand. "And so will L"

"L…" Beyond felt a painful twist in his gut as he thought about his first crush's reaction to the news. What would L think? L was kind and sweet, surely he wouldn't look down on them?  _ 'L is with Light now and even though they are apart he seems so much happier than when he was with me. Surely he will understand?' _ Beyond thought. 

"He will understand" Light answered his unspoken question, "And he will want to be there for you. L loves children. Hell, give it a few months and he'll be calling himself Uncle L!"

Everyone had to laugh at that. That was so typical of L. He dotted on the younger students at Wammy's School of the Gifted. 

"Guys… I love you" Laura swallowed thickly, "And I want you all to be part of our babies life. No matter what the future holds"

A breeze ran through Light's hair and he felt a chill race down his spine. Despite thinking he was 'grown up' for years now, suddenly he realised what it actually meant. 

It meant making painful choices and facing the unknown, no matter how scary and daunting it may be… 

**********************

"Merry?" L knocked on his friend's door and waited to be admitted. Merry was having a tough time. It was her father's birthday and L was hoping to distract her by going hacking in the woods. Her father did  _ stuff _ to her on his birthday and it always hit her hard. 

"Come in, L"

L let himself in and his face fell when he saw Merry was curled up in her bed. 

"Sweetheart" he cooed, immediately going over to her and perching on the bed, "I know today is shitty. I'm not going to give you the bullshit 'get over it' spiel. You can't just 'get over' what he did but… I was hoping you and I could go hacking in the woods? If you're up to it, that is. If not, I'm happy to-"

"You're babbling, L" Merry's voice was thick with tears and amusement. Slowly she sat up and rubbed her eyes. "But it's adorable. Thank you"

L smiled bashfully. "Um. You're welcome" he didn't really know what she was thanking him for, but maybe she found his natural awkwardness funny. 

"L, do you ever think life will get any easier?" Merry asked softly. 

L blinked at the loaded question. He chewed on his lip and tasted the cool metal of his lip ring as he thought how best to reply. "Of course I do. I mean, life is shit, yes, but it's also really… I don't know, good too? Like, no one knows what's around the corner. One day you could be married, Mer, or you could be a world famous journalist or whatever the fuck you want to be"

Merry smiled and leaned into her friend. "You really think so?"

"Yes. I'm telling you, Merry, one day I will be reading articles you've written" L said, his large, dark eyes serious. "You're brilliant, Merry, and I know you are struggling but you will make it through because you are strong. Now get your ass out of bed and come hacking with me, the horses are waiting"

Merry laughed and slowly climbed out of bed. Maybe a hack through the woods would cheer her up a little? 

L had no idea, but his act of kindness would reap the richest of rewards: Merry would tell his therapists about him helping her and L would be recommended for early release due to his progress. That meant he would be able to attend the end of year ball with Light… 

***********************

That night, L sat tucked up in bed, holding his phone and waiting for his 9 pm call. As always, Light was punctual to a fault. 

"Hey, Baby, I miss you" Light cooed in greeting, his eyes drinking in the sight of his boyfriend. 

L smiled and touched his phone screen, wishing he was touching Light's face. 

"I miss you too"

Light smiled longingly. Soon they wouldn't have to say that greeting ever again. "So, I take it you've heard the news?"

L nodded. "Laura texted me. I'm pretty shocked but… well, I'm excited about it too!"

Light laughed. Of course he was. "They are meeting with Laura's parents tonight to break the news"

L grimaced, "I hope they take it well. I know it's unexpected but they want the baby and that is all that matters"

"Yeah, I know but… it's got me thinking about things. They are planning for their future and soon everything is going to change for them. The same applies to us, L. I want to announce our engagement when you return home"

L smiled brightly. "You're sure? I thought we were going to wait until we finish school?"

"Babe, school finishes in five months…" Light said slowly, realising L's separation from him and life at the Meadows had made him forget that all important fact. 

L's smile faltered and then faded altogether.  _ 'Shit! How could I forget that? Being here has been so helpful but I've missed so much too…' _

"Baby, are you okay?" Light asked softly, concerned at the tears welling in L's eyes. 

"I'm fine. I'm just… god, I want to be home with you all! Now more than ever!" L admitted in a tearful voice, "I feel like I'm missing so much"

"I know, but it won't be long now, L" Light soothed, even though he felt exactly the same way. "We'll be together soon and then we will never be parted again, I promise you"

L had to smile at that because he knew it was the truth. He toyed with the ring on his finger for a moment before he looked at Light with determination in his eyes. "Light, I will do everything I can to get home in time for the end of the year ball. And we are going to get engaged publically at it!"

Light closed his eyes in happiness, already imagining getting down on one knee and asking L to be his husband under that gaudy glitter ball. 

"Deal"


	20. Rule the World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L and Light are reunited, the gang are determined to enjoy their last few weeks together, but fate hasn't finished throwing them a few curve balls just yet...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was *not* how I originally envisioned this chapter to go, however, it was what I ended up writing and its stuck. Guess I like throwing a few curve balls too... 🤔

Even now, two weeks later, Light sometimes found himself thinking back to that first moment he'd seen L at the airport terminal. Their wait was finally over and L was home. It didn't seem real, somehow. They'd grabbed at one another and clung on tightly, each making a vow that they would never be separated again. The first few days of L being back home had been a daze of settling in and sheer happiness. Light had insisted L stay with him and given their upcoming engagement and long separation, his parents had agreed readily enough. 

Now there were no more 'I miss you' greetings, no more marking days off the calendar. His L was home, and finally their lives could be put off hold. He got to wake up to L in the morning and cuddle him at night. Life was blissful. 

The season was changing and leaves littered the ground as Autumn blew its cold breath on the last remaining summer flowers. L was nearly 17 and the school dance was just days away. 

_ 'And so is the proposal' _ Light smiled, toying with L's ring in the palm of his hand. L was currently having lunch with Beyond and Laura and probably talking their ears off about baby names. Laura was due to give birth in just two months' time (her due date was December 8th) and was currently the size of a small car. 

At first their parents had been shocked and had tried to convince Laura to terminate her pregnancy. Beyond and Laura had been adamant that wasn't an option and had surprised, and impressed, them by saving up their allowances for the baby and showing a level headed maturity as they planned for the future. 

Beyond was working in his father's law firm and Laura's parents had converted a part of their home to serve as a nursery until the young soon-to-be parents found a place of their own. 

It had been challenging, but as Light reflected on the last half a year, it had been good as well. Now they were all in a place where they could look to the future and it was a very exciting time. Matt and Mello were utterly smitten with one another and he and L were planning on rooming together at a local University as a couple. They would be apart as University, school and parenthood beckoned but Light knew it would only be superficial and not permanent. They were the closest of friends and for that reason they would always be together, no matter where careers and life took them. 

Light smiled to himself as he slipped on L's hoodie and breathed in his lover's scent, but the smile faded somewhat as he took in the bombsite that was his formally neat and tidy bedroom. Paintbrushes, canvases, clothes and candy wrappers were strewn  _ everywhere _ . Getting used to L's messiness would take some time, but he had a lifetime to coax L into cleaning up after himself. Or so he hoped, anyway… 

"L" Light sighed as he scooped up a still damp towel from his bedroom floor, "I've got my work cut out, haven't I?" he mumbled wryly to himself as he deposited it in the laundry hamper. 

He imagined what things would be like in five years. He and L would have a place of their own, jobs and responsibilities by then. Maybe one day they'd even adopt? 

The thought made him smile. Finally, things were back on track, and they had everything to look forward to! 

******************

True to form, L  _ was _ chewing Beyond and Laura's ears off as he produced a print out of baby names and read them out. 

"Then there's Laura, which is quite cute, naming a girl after her mother, isn't it? Ooh, and Lena. I  _ really _ like Lena… "

Beyond and Laura shared a patient, exasperated smile. "L, honey, we've already decided on her name" Laura noticed L looked a bit crestfallen and swiftly shot Beyond another  _ 'Go with it!'  _ look,  _ "However _ we've been struggling to find a  _ middle _ name and you've just helped us out"

L perked up at once. "I did? What is it?"

Beyond smiled at Laura's tact and kindness. "Lena?" He suggested, knowing it was a name that had featured on a few of their lists before anyway. 

"Yes" Laura nodded her head, "Her middle name will be Lena, and one day, L, you can tell her that  _ you  _ were the one to give it to her"

Beyond smirked at how cute L looked, his face flushed red and his eyes began to tear up. " _ Really _ ?" he whispered. 

"Really. Now, tell us about what it's like living with the Yagamis. Last I heard your dad and Susan were settling in at home. Even some murmerings of wedding bells?"

L pulled a face. It wasn't that he didn't like Susan, because he did. It was still just so strange to think of Watari with someone. Susan had been his rock and had stood by his side that long year they were in Germany and L respected her for that. It was just… daunting to know one day he might have a stepmother. Officially. 

_ 'No, I guess that's not it either. I already view Sachiko as my mother. I guess I'm just a bit weirded out that my Dad is doing  _ **_stuff_ ** _ with her. Stuff like Light and I do. I'm happy he's happy but when he kisses her it makes me  _ **_cringe!'_ **

"I love living with Light. The lack of privacy can be a bit awkward but it won't be long before we're in dorms together" L's smile turned wistful, "It's just amazing to wake up to him everyday and know nothing can separate us again"

Beyond looked away, feeling a chill run through him at L's naive certainty. "I wouldn't say that, L, no one knows what's around the corner…"

"Alright, grumpy" Laura smacked Beyond's arm playfully. He had a valid point but she felt L didn't need to be reminded of such uncertainties at the moment, especially considering he and Light had only been reunited for a few weeks, "Can you go get me another muffin, Beebee? Baby wants it"

Beyond groaned at the nickname and L's snicker. He'd heard  _ that _ excuse a million times already.  _ 'And I really do wish she wouldn't call me that in front of people!' _

"Ooh. The baby's got a good idea!" L beamed at Laura's round belly, "She says you should get me one as well,  _ Beebee _ "

Beyond rolled his eyes and obediently got up from his chair. "Pair of fat bastards" he teased with no real malice, "Guess you want another hot chocolate too?"

L and Laura shared a grin. "Yes, Baby says that would be lovely!"

Beyond dutifully trooped off to purchase more food and drinks but found himself smiling despite his mild annoyance. In just two months time he would be a  _ Dad _ . 

How could he  _ not _ smile? 

*******************

The next day was exam result day and the gang were due to meet up at the park to open them together. However, everyone knew the envelopes would be well opened before they actually met up! Matt and Mello had opened their test results together and shared a high five as they read their grades. 

"Alright! Another two years of making Roger's life hell!" Mello cheered excitedly, "I wonder if the others have gotten there's yet?"

Matt grimaced. The real problem was L's grades. The examining board had had to base them on what he had been predicted to get.  _ 'But he's smart. He should be fine' _ Matt reassured himself. 

"Probably. We should get going and find out" Matt grabbed their jackets, "Darren! We're going out!" He yelled, unsure if his brother would hear him over the loud music blaring out from the kitchen. Surprisingly, he did, and he strolled into the lounge wearing a pair of faded batman shorts and a tired smirk. 

"Good grades, little bro?" He yawned. He'd been working last night and hadn't gone to bed yet. 

"Obviously" Matt preened, "Got into sixth form"

Darren nodded his head, pleased. He knew he wasn't the  _ best _ guardian but he felt they were doing okay. Marty was passing school and he seemed happy with Mello. "Nice one. I'll order pizza and we'll have a few beers to celebrate later, yeah?"

"Sounds good" Mello grinned, "Aw, you're such a good big brother, Darren. So  _ cute _ "

Darren rolled his eyes. "Don't push me, Mello, I can kick you out, you know" he threatened, even though he had no intentions of doing that. Mello waa  _ good _ for Matt, even if they were a little young to be going so serious.  _ 'Eh, whatever, as long as Matt's happy' _

Mello pouted and Matt rolled his eyes. There was no way Darren would ever actually do that. "Go to bed, Darren, you look like shit" he laughed as Darren bit back another yawn. 

Darren waved them off and headed back into the kitchen to roll a blunt. He'd ran out of weed so he helped himself to some of Mello's instead. He'd consider it 'rent' even though he did actually receive a hefty check each month for housing Mello anyway.  _ 'Nah, it's payback. That little twat's finished off all the orange juice again!' _ He thought as he heard the door slam closed. 

"He's not serious, is he?" Mello fretted as they left the house. He didn't want to live at Wammy's if it meant being separated from Matt. He'd gotten used to crashing at Matt's brothers place and somehow it had just turned into them living together. 

"Nah. He's messing with you" Matt reassured as he slung his arm around Mello's shoulders, "Don't worry, Babe, another two years and we will be chilling in our own place!"

"I can't wait!" Mello pressed closer to Matt, "I love you, man"

Matt smiled bashfully. For all their teasing, he still got a little flustered when he heard that. "Love you too, asshole"

"You love my asshole, you mean" Mello flicked his hair from his eyes and Matt groaned as a woman passing by scowled at them.  _ 'There's a time and a place, Mels!' _

"What? You do!" Mello giggled as Matt flushed red and ducked his head. "Or am I not enough for you anymore?" He warbled loudly, drawing the attention of everyone passing by and thoroughly embarrassing Matt. 

"Jesus, Mels" Matt bit his lip to contain his laughter at his boyfriend's dramatics.

They arrived at the park and spotted the gang sitting around what they considered their tree. Mello bounded over to them and hugged Beyond from behind. 

"Guess who?" He trilled, earning himself an exasperated eye roll from Light. 

"Gee, I wonder who it could be" Beyond deadpanned, extracting himself from Mello's hold. "Well? Results?"

They went around the circle giving their results until it came to L. L shyly held up his, a broad smile on his face. 

L had achieved straight A's. 

"Awesome! Well done, you" Laura sighed in relief.

They sat down and chatted for most of the afternoon but the mood soured when they spotted a certain white haired boy staring at them from across the park. 

"Oh, not that twat" Matt groaned. 

"Who is he? I've seen him in school once or twice but I can't say I know him" Laura narrowed her eyes at the strange boy. The way he was staring gave her the creeps. 

"His name is Near" Mello's muttered, venom dripping from his voice, "He's a right fucking nutcase. He's really religious and  _ hates _ gay people. He even wrote an essay about how we are all going to end up burning in hell"

"Fun guy" Light murmured, pulling L a little closer to him. For some reason he felt afraid. He hadn't really paid too much attention to the white haired boy (other than overhearing he was a religious nutcase) and was starting to wonder if that had been a mistake… 

"Heh, he's probably glaring at  _ me _ " Beyond sent the boy a sneer, "He was spouting his hate outside The Old Hat yesterday so I punched him"

"B!" Laura scolded, shaking her head. 

"What? He was defending us" Matt yelped. 

"Maybe so, but violence begets violence" Laura said wisely, watching as Near slunk off. "Just… keep an eye on him, guys, I have a funny feeling he might cause trouble"

The mood sombered, L and Light left early to have dinner with Watari and Jenny and the group dispersed as the sun began to dip below the horizon. They had a very important day tomorrow: it was finally the day of end of school dance. Near would just have to fucking deal with it. L and Light were going together and so were Matt and Mello. 

***********************

L had never seen such a handsome sight as Light in his sleek grey suit with baby blue corsage. He couldn't stop staring at him and had to be gently prodded by Sayu to put on his own suit. 

_ 'Aw! But I want to drag him upstairs and  _ **_lick_ ** _ him!' _ L mentally whined as he forced himself to look away from the captivating sight of Light in a suit. 

He was brimming with excitement and nervousness as he got changed. He took out his lip ring and tried his best to tame his hair, but it wasn't having any of it. Oh well, he'd tried. At least his hair was no longer blue. That would have clashed horribly with his soft grey suit. 

"Oh, L" Watari sighed as L re-entered the lounge with a shy smile, "You look so grown up!"

L straightened his shoulders proudly. He was just two days shy of turning 17 and he  _ felt _ grown up. 

"You look adorable, Honey, let me take a photo" Jenny cooed. 

L winced as Jenny whipped out her phone and snapped a few shots. Okay, so maybe he didn't feel  _ entirely  _ grown up quite yet. 

"You look beautiful," Light whispered into his ear, "I can't wait for tonight. I can't wait for everyone to know you're mine and I'm yours"

"Me neither" L blushed as he thought about Light going down on one knee. 

Sachiko and Souichiro insisted on group photos and the teens groaned in annoyance as they posed for what felt like an endless stream of photographs. Finally they were given permission to leave and L and Light left the house, hand in hand, thinking that the next time they entered it they would officially be engaged. It was a heady thought indeed. 

The hall was packed with students dressed in smart suits and gorgeous dresses. It was easy to spot Laura in a stunning emerald gown (her belly stuck out a mile away) and L and Light, hand in hand, headed towards their friends. 

"Guys!" Mello waved them over, "I've asked the DJ to play your song later, dip the lights low, and all that shit to make it special for you lovebirds!"

Light and L shared a  _ look _ . Now the moment was at hand they were getting nervous. Wammy's School for the gifted was very progressive but it still had its fair share of homophobic idiots. L and Light just hoped they (Near and his clan of Bible Bashers) wouldn't cause an issue. 

As Matt and Mello headed towards the punch to spike it (because, of course that had to happen), L and Light stayed close to Beyond and Laura. Laura was attracting a few stares and snide comments, and they were determined not to let such spite ruin their night. Naturally Takada and Misa were the ring leaders so L, Light and Beyond formed a protective circle around Laura. To give her credit, Laura tried not to let the stares and whispers get to her. She had expected them to happen, thus she was prepared. 

"Tch, she's the size of a house" Takada sniffed as she passed by, "They really shouldn't have allowed her to attend. I mean, what kind of image is  _ that _ for the school?"

L bristled and opened his mouth, ready to tell Takada to go fuck herself, but Laura shook her head. "She's not worth it, Sweetie"

"What kind of image is your  _ face _ for the school?" Beyond snapped back, too riled up to hold his tongue, "Jesus, Takada, I could  _ scrape _ that makeup off with a knife! Maybe you'd be better off seeing to that than making snide comments about my girlfriend?! And Misa, the fuck are you wearing? Might as well have worn a fucking  _ thong _ and be done with it"

Takada's mouth opened and closed as she floundered for something to say. Clearly she hadn't expected Beyond to snap back at her, more fool her. Misa looked down at her rather revealing dress (a garment she had been hoping would catch Light's eye) and flushed red with anger. Light had his arm slung around L's waist and was laughing at her! 

"It's fine, Babe" Laura drew herself up to her full height and sneered at Takada, "Some people just can't help but show how  _ toxic _ they really are. Don't stoop to their level, okay?"

Beyond sighed but nodded his head. Maybe he had been a bit mean but he wouldn't stand for  _ anyone _ making fun of his girl! 

"Ha! Ryan, play 'Toxic' next!" Mello yelled at his friend. The boy behind the decks got the meaning and flashed them a thumbs up. 

The gang burst into laughter as Britney Spears's 'Toxic' was dedicated to 'Toxic Takada'

"Fuck you guys! Bunch of  _ freaks _ !" Takada squealed in outrage as she marched off, laughter and stares following her. 

"Got that right" L smirked, fully comfortable with being labeled something he once dreaded. They  _ were _ a bit unusual, but that was a good thing since normal was  _ so _ boring. He loved his little gang of freaks!  _ 'If only Merry could be here, things would be perfect'  _ L thought, reminding himself to text her later. 

"Guys! It's your song!" Laura hissed and shoved Light onto the dancefloor. Perhaps Mello had let something slip because suddenly everyone vacated the buffet and drifted over to watch as Light held out his hand to L. You could feel the tension as the students waited with baited breath. Nothing like this had ever happened at Wammy's before and, for the most part, the students were excited and supportive. The few who didn't agree with two boys dancing or getting engaged slunk off to whisper maliciously together. Near, chief among them, glowered as L and Light took to the dancefloor. 

"May I?"

L bit his lip, torn between wanting to laugh at the formality and wanting to swoon. Light looked and sounded every inch the fairy tale prince and he was finally  _ his _ . 

L took Light's hand and leaned his head on his shoulder as they began to slow dance. The words of their song washed over them and both closed their eyes, soaking up the moment. It didn't matter if half the school was looking at them, right then it was just the two of them. 

Light tightened his hold on L's waist and wished the moment would never end. As 'Rule the World' played, he truly believed he and L were doing just that. 

_ You light the skies, up above me _

_ A star, so bright, you blind me, yeah _

_ Don't close your eyes _

_ Don't fade away, don't fade away, oh _

_ Yeah, you and me, we can ride on a star _

_ If you stay with me, Boy _

_ We can rule the world _

_ Yeah, you and me, we can light up the sky _

_ If you stay by my side _

_ We can rule the world _

_ If walls break down, I will comfort you _

_ If angels cry, oh I'll be there for you _

_ You've saved my soul _

_ Don't leave me now, don't leave me now, oh _

_ Yeah, you and me, we can ride on a star _

_ If you stay with me, Boy _

_ We can rule the world _

_ Yeah, you and me, we can light up the sky _

_ If you stay by my side _

_ We can rule the world _

_ Oh, all the stars are coming out tonight _

_ They're lighting up the sky tonight _

_ For you, for you _

_ All the stars are coming out tonight _

_ They're lighting up the sky tonight _

_ For you, for you, oh _

_ Yeah, you and me, we can ride on a star _

_ If you stay with me, Boy _

_ We can rule the world _

_ Yeah, you and me, we can light up the sky _

_ If you stay by my side _

_ We can rule the world _

_ All the stars are coming out tonight _

_ They're lighting up the sky tonight _

_ For you, for you _

_ All the stars are coming out tonight _

_ They're lighting up the sky tonight _

_ For you, for you _

_ All the stars are coming out tonight _

_ They're lighting up the sky tonight _

_ For you, for you _

_ All the stars are coming out tonight _

_ They're lighting up the sky tonight _

_ For you, for you _

Even Matt found he had a tear in his eye as the song ended. Time seemed to slow down as the lights dimmed and Light gracefully knelt before L. 

"Holy shit, it's happening!" Mello nudged Matt, "I can't believe this! I thought for sure Light was going to puss out!"

"Tch. They're soulmates, of course he wasn't going to puss out" Beyond tutted, his eyes fixed on L and Light as Light presented L with his ring. It felt strange, in a sense, but right too. He'd never seen L as radiantly happy as he was in this moment.  _ 'Good for you, L, I hope this is just the beginning of your happiness' _

"L, Baby, I have loved you since we were too young to even understand what love meant. Every day of my life I have done anything I could to see you smile, watch you grow and protect you. I am so  _ proud _ of the person you've become. I know this last year hasn't been easy but… L, it has been so worth it"

The crowd murmured and 'Aw'd' as Light's voice cracked with emotion. L swallowed thickly, tears swimming in his eyes as he stared down into the beautiful amber gaze fixed so earnestly on him. Discreetly, Laura zoomed in on their faces as she sneakily filmed the moment.  _ 'Thank God Near and his cronies have left. I honestly thought for a second they were going to try something' _

"I want nothing more than to be by your side. I  _ crave _ you with everything I have and I swear sometimes my heart breaks when I look at you. I'm so thankful we are together and… and I intend to keep the vows we made as children. I will  _ always _ be there for you, no matter what. So, L… will you marry me?"

"Yes!" L grabbed the ring, shoved it on his finger and then crushed Light to him for a kiss. 

Cheers and catcalls rang out as the newly  _ (officially) _ engaged kissed beneath the spinning lights. L and Light were so absorbed with one another, neither saw Near hurtling towards them until it was too late. Near's face twisted with anger and outrage. He would put an end to this sick display once and for all! 

Once more, time seemed to slow down, but for all the wrong reasons. Light panicked as he saw the Near reach behind him and he was transported back to the day of the school shooting. A terrified whimper left him and he froze. Screams erupted around him, his vision blurred and a strange cutting sensation hit him.  _ 'What the-??' _

The pain drew him back to his senses and, automatically, Light reached for L to pull him away from the danger. Near, using Light's distraction to his advantage, lunged once again. 

"No!" L was faster, saw something Light hadn't, and he grabbed Light, shoving the taller boy behind him just as the knife descended in a silvery arc. It was his turn to defend Light now! 

L wavered on his feet as he felt the knife slice down through his suit and cut open his chest. His breath burned in his lungs and his knees buckled. 

_ 'This can't… This can't be happening! Not now!' _ L thought as his legs gave out. Pain erupted across his chest and L, dazedly, pressed a hand to his stomach. His beautiful ring was stained red.  _ 'I'm bleeding… fuck' _

Everything was a blur. He felt Light cradling him and sobbing into his neck, urging him not to leave him. The lights were switched on and the students screamed as L's bloody torso was revealed. 

L tried to open his mouth to tell Light he was okay but he couldn't speak. His eyes were growing heavier by the second… 

"Don't you fucking move!" Beyond snarled as he pinned Near to the ground, forcing Near's face painfully into the floor. "Someone call a fucking ambulance!" he yelled as Near struggled to get out of his hold. 

Shock gave way to adrenaline and the students burst into action. Laura dialed for an ambulance as Matt and Mello whipped off their jackets to press against L's chest. Several students assisted Beyond in pining Near to the ground and holding him there. 

"I'll see you rot for this!" Matt screamed at the boy he'd once called a friend, "You fucking bastard, How could you do this?!"

"L… please, please" Light begged, tears running down his face as he rocked L, "Don't you dare leave me. You  _ can _ ' _ t _ leave me"

L slowly lifted a hand and touched Light's cheek. "Not leavin' you" he slurred, his eyelids slipping closed. He wanted to fight and stay awake but he couldn't. 

In the distance, the haunting wail of an ambulance pierced the night, and Light wondered if fate would be so cruel to take L from him again, and this time,  _ permanently…  _


	21. Reflection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L is recovering but soon realises things take a bit of time when Light turns his request for intimacy down. L and Light reflect on the future ahead of them as everything changes...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo... 
> 
> Only been, what, three months since I last updated this fic. 
> 
> Woops! 🙊
> 
> I had to go back and re-read it all before I could even write this chapter! I really do hate leaving works unfinished so please bare with me, Days will be completed eventually! 
> 
> For now, enjoy the new chapter!

When L awoke, it was to Light sleeping in a chair next to him still clutching his hand. L blinked and tried to remember what had happened. Everything was hazy and he felt a sickening wave of deja vu as he recalled the last time he was hospitalized. 

_ 'No. Nothing like that happened. What did happen? The last thing I remember was the dance, Light, god he was handsome and-  _ **_Shit_ ** _. I was  _ **_stabbed_ ** _!' _

L's drooping eyes snapped open and he glanced down at his stomach. It was wrapped in a thick white gauze and he swallowed thickly at the sight. 

Light stirred in the chair next to him and L watched him slowly awaken. The dark shadows and gauntness to Light's face made L sick with guilt. It looked like his love had barely eaten or slept as he waited for him to wake up… 

"L" Light rasped, the tiredness bleeding from his face as he reached out to hold L's hand. "Oh god, I thought you were  _ never _ waking up!"

L fought back the dizziness that threatened to overwhelm him and squeezed Light's hand. Light was concerned for him but he was worried about how thin and tired Light was. Slowly, L reached to touch Light's face, concern filtering through his eyes. 

"When… did you last eat?" L asked roughly, clearing his throat. It felt like it was lined with sandpaper. Light grabbed a water bottle and helped L take a few sips. 

"Uh… last night. No. The day before. Look, I can't remember, okay" Light admitted tiredly, "It doesn't matter. All that matters is you're okay"

L disagreed and gave Light a stern look. "That is  _ not _ okay, Light. How long was I out for?"

"Two weeks" Light sighed as he placed the water bottle on the bedside table, "It was… touch and go at one point. They had to give you  _ two _ blood transfusions"

L sensed Light was close to breaking and squeezed his hand harder. "Shh. Don't talk about that now" he was still woozy with pain medication and the fatigue etched on Light's face was heartbreaking to look at. "I'm here, Babe, not gonna be your ghost best friend just yet" he added, trying to lighten the mood whilst inwardly praying this would be the  _ last _ time one of them spent hovering anxiously at a hospital bed. They'd had quite enough of it, thank you! 

Light smiled tearfully and leaned in for a kiss, sighing as he felt L's lips respond automatically to his own. To think he'd been so close to never being able to kiss L again, to hold him, to grow old with him… 

Both boys were crying as they kissed slowly, cherishing the bittersweet moment. 

The moment was ruined when a Nurse entered to complete his Obs and he immediately alerted the Dr's that L was awake. L and Light shared a resigned look as the room was swiftly filled and decided they would have to wait until later to talk about what had happened. 

************************

Three days later, L was discharged and he returned home with Light. He would have to return for weekly check ups but L didn't mind that. He was staying with the Yagamis to aid his recovery and that meant he had Light to himself. Light fussed over him, changed his bandages and made sure to never mention the large scar running down L's belly. L grimaced at the sight of the ugly purple mark but felt a sense of pride too. He'd attained it by defending his soulmate, just like Light bore a scar on his belly by defending him. 

It felt rather poetic really, even if L wished that neither of them had been in the situations that had led to the scars in the first place.  _ 'Life has certainly been a challenge and it feels like it's trying to tear us apart sometimes. But we are going to make it. I know we will' _ L thought as he Idly traced the scar on Light's belly with his fingertips. 

"Mmm… L?" Light blinked awake, shivering at the gentle touches dancing across his belly. 

"Shh. Go back to sleep" L soothed, knowing Light had much needed sleep to catch up on, "It's okay"

Rather than settling back down, Light forced his eyes open and propped himself up on an elbow to peer at L curiously. "When did you get so strong, L? I'm a wreck and you're the one who was stabbed and yet you're acting so brave and… and almost… glad?"

L smiled thinly. "I'm not glad I was stabbed, Light, but I  _ am _ glad I was able to defend you. It might sound silly, but ever since I was a boy I felt like I owed you for saving my life during the shooting-"

Light opened his mouth to protest and L gently laid a finger against his lips to silence him. 

"I thought about it a lot when we were apart and I realised that it wasn't a debt I needed to repay. You saved me out of love and I wanted to do the same for you. I suppose I just feel… " L sighed and shook his head, well aware he wasn't the best at expressing himself. 

"An eye for an eye" Light murmured, seeing L's point of view. 

"Yes. And a heart for a heart" L trailed his fingers down from Light's mouth, across his throat and collarbones and rested them above his heart. "Light… I want to make love with you"

Light's eyes widened with surprise. "R-really? But you're injured!"

"We'll be careful" L murmured, arching up to kiss Light gently, "I really need you, Light"

Light quivered, at war with himself. God how he  _ wanted  _ to but… 

"If I hurt you in any way I would never forgive myself" he whispered harshly, blood roaring through his veins, "L, Please-"

L stiffened and pulled away from Light, the rejection stinging despite Light's honorable intentions. 

"Fine. Forget I said anything" L muttered, averting his eyes to hide the sheen of tears that gathered in them. 

"I can't forget that. God, L, do you know how much I want to make love to you?" Light gripped L's chin and forced him to meet his gaze. "I want that more than  _ anything _ , Baby, but I want it to be special. I don't think I'm going to be able to concentrate through stressing out I'm hurting you" Light chuckled weakly and nuzzled against L's neck. 

L softened and wrapped his arms around Light. "When I'm better then?" he asked shyly. 

"Definitely" Light sucked a little love bite into the soft skin of L's neck, delighting in the shiver it caused. "I'm booking a hotel room, the works"

"No" L suddenly pulled at Light's arm to get his attention. "I can think of something better. Let's make love the first night in our dorm"

Light smiled brightly. That sounded just perfect to him. Sure, the dorm they'd be staying in would probably be a bit cramped and hardly the lap of luxury but it would be  _ theirs.  _ He had a vision of himself and L enjoying lazy days snuggled in throw blankets and sipping wine out of plastic cups as they watched movies on a laptop. 

_ 'Heaven!' _

"Light… the year I spent away from you and Merry in particular have taught me one thing: Not to take life for granted, not even for a moment. I suppose that's why I wanted to do it now which is probably a bit stupid since my belly still hurts, but-"

Light cut him off with a sweet kiss. "I understand, L, I do, and I can't wait until it is just us. No parents, just you and me and our whole lives ahead of us"

L suddenly sighed and his eyes grew stormy. "That bastard nearly took that away from us. After all we've been through. Has your Dad said anything more about what is going to happen to Near?"

"He's being questioned as we speak. Watari is pressing charges on your behalf and now your sort of up and about again the Police will want to speak to you too" Light said slowly, not wanting to overwhelm L. He'd hoped they could have this conversation when L was a bit stronger but he supposed if he was in L's place he'd want to know as soon as possible as well. 

"Good. I hope he does years in Juvie for this. Sort that messed up head of his out. God knows he needs it" L laid his head down on L's chest and comforted himself by listening to the steady beat of his soulmates heart. 

Light hitched up L's top to trace patterns on the smooth skin of his back and smiled affectionately as L made a happy little sound. They drowsed together until the blare of Sayu's J-Pop forced them to groan in annoyance. 

"Two more months, Baby" Light sighed, "Wanna go visit Beyond and Laura?" he suggested, knowing L would not appreciate listening to the loud thumping music for too long. 

L tiredly nodded his head. It was better than listening to that  _ crap _ Sayu was playing at any rate. 

**********************

Laura answered the door in all her round-bellied glory, her face glowing as she pulled L and Light into a hug. She had just over a month to go until her due date and Beyond was hovering by her side protectively. It was rather sweet and L and Light shared a smile as Laura rolled her eyes at Beyond's loitering. 

Laura proudly showed off the nursery and her and Beyond's little anex they were staying in and both L and Light were impressed at how organized they were. A pile of nappies, wipes and bottles lay waiting to be used in the corner of the nursery. 

"Matt and Mello came 'round the other day" Laura's eyes were sparkling, "And even they were impressed with the set up! It's all clicking into place, isn't it, Baby?" Laura smiled winningly at Beyond. 

"It is, and i've worked it out that If I continue to save the way I am I should be able to put down a deposit on a house by the time the baby turns 1" Beyond said proudly as he wrapped an arm around Laura's shoulders. "Both our parents said they'd help us to get somewhere but we've decided we don't want that. We want to do this our way and work for it. It will be  _ our _ home then, you know?"

"Wow" L smiled, impressed at this display of maturity from his ex. It wasn't that Beyond was ever immature as such, it was just surprising to see how much he had grown up during the time he was in Germany. "Sounds like you have it all worked out. It won't be long now and she'll be here. Uncle L can't wait to meet you!" L cooed at Laura's belly, making Light smile softly. L would make a  _ brilliant _ uncle and maybe even a father himself one day. 

Surprised at the thought, Light curled his fingers around L's and allowed himself to daydream about the future. He imagined L as a successful artist, himself a Policeman, and they'd live in a beautiful house in the suburbs… 

_ 'Yeah, okay, might want to get university out of the way first' _ Light reminded himself. They still had a long way to go before they got there. 

"Anyway, how's things going with your dad and Susan?"

L sighed. "Well, I think they're trying to find the right time to tell me but Susan has moved in now and… I'm convinced they're engaged"

"You don't sound happy about it?" Laura questioned gently. 

"I am. It's just… I've always been used to it being just me and Dad. It's strange to think he has someone else in his life now" L admitted quietly, "I'm  _ glad _ about it, especially with Light and I going to uni soon and I am happy he has someone he loves, but…"

"Maybe you and Light should go out on a double date with them" Beyond announced, surprising everyone, "It wouldn't hurt. You haven't really had the time to get to know her properly, L, and I think after everything that's happened now would be a good time to build bridges and focus on the future"

L slowly nodded his head. "Alright, I'll text dad and ask"

It seemed everyone was looking to the future and had things worked out, so L decided it was about time he did the same. L glanced at Light from the corner of his eyes and felt a sense of calm envelop him at the sight of those beautiful marble eyes and that perfect face. 

As long as he had Light in his future he could handle  _ anything _ … 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Like it? Please let me know :)


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